


Same Sky

by exolimelight, niruesie



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Character Death, EXOLimelight2017, Famous!AU, M/M, Poetry, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-22 22:00:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 58,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12491796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exolimelight/pseuds/exolimelight, https://archiveofourown.org/users/niruesie/pseuds/niruesie
Summary: When sunset is a foreshadowing, Chanyeol has learned to love the rising sun with the hope to bask in its metaphors.





	Same Sky

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: 147  
> Pairing: Baekhyun/Chanyeol  
> Rating: Mature  
> Word Count: 58,329  
> Warning: Death
> 
> Author's notes: I don’t want to write a long author’s note but there are just so many people to thank.
> 
> To the prompter, I can’t thank you enough for giving me such liberty to twist and bleed and write with that wonderful prompt of yours. You are amazing! 
> 
> To my beta, Nk eonnie, I love you so much for the patience and wisdom you shared with me. I am beyond blessed that you agreed to work with me on this. If there would be anyone who will fall in love with this story, he/she owes it to you too!
> 
> To HC, (both kpop and non-kpop fans) thanks for all the love and support. Yeobo, Babes, Sheen, M.Lujji, Kler, Pearl and more, I can’t thank you enough for encouraging me to pursue my passion and endeavors and for lifting my spirits up to continue when doubting and quitting are easier.
> 
> To the mods, thank you for being a stepping stone to get me near my dreams.
> 
> To God, thank You for giving me the opportunity to use the talent You gave me. This is for You.
> 
> This fic includes my favourite songs and the poems I’ve written for the past years. Happy reading!

**PART I**

Under the Same Sky

_The clock ticks. My heart beats._

_Days are on my fingers. The time fleets._

_It took me all sunrises and all sunsets, to realize –_

_Even in low count, happiness can surmount_

_Even in low numbers, love conquers_

_Both life and death._

_Time is never my friend,_

_But it brought me to you, in the end._

_For that, I am truly grateful. Time is coming._

_I am ready._

_Writ this day,_

_Tuesday_

_17: 52 Sunset_

 

***

Thick, black cords lay scattered on the floor like dark and heavy roots intertwining on a gloomy forest. Only, this is not any forest at all but a _studio_. Four blinding lights on the far wall kill the darkness in the room, angled strategically to cast beams in the middle where chairs and mic stands are settled.

 

“Get ready in ten minutes!” Someone shouts. People run here and there. Some are arranging the big boxes of speakers and other musical instruments to enhance the theme of the stage.

 

There are so much more to do and to check, they all mentally reason.

 

“Check the sound system. Are the guitars plugged already? What is that cord doing over there?” A man with a mic barks orders. The others busy themselves in fixing the cameras while the others started filming, documenting the events behind all these flashy elements.

 

In a more silent corner, a man sits comfortably on a chair, admiring himself in front of the mirror. There are people crowding him. They tend to his hair and to his clothes, as if doing that will make him look more handsome and presentable than he already is at the moment.

 

“I like my hair like this better.” He smirks as he ruffles his hair.

 

His stylist brushes some strands away from his eyes, “Messy. Speaks of you, sometimes. Very reckless.”

 

“This isn’t about my little accident, is it?”

 

“You have to be very careful, Chanyeol. Your fans are worried. Good thing it is just a minor cut on your forehead or else, we won’t be filming in half a year.” Her voice is soft and kind but Chanyeol notes her seriousness and concern.

 

“I won’t mind any wound or cuts, though. Not if you are around. Your hands and your toolkit seemed to make me look more perfect.” He laughs, shaking his head. Ruffling his hair even more.

 

Under normal circumstances, he would have squinted his eyes shut because these little yellow bulbs around the edges of the mirror stand are too bright for his comfort but today just feels different. He feels _animated_.

 

“I don’t understand why you seemed so happy about this. Or…” She adds a beige powder on his cheeks as she smirks, “There something isn’t it? Something or maybe _someone_ makes you happy?”

 

“Come on, noona! I’m the happiest happy virus on earth!” He takes a good look of himself again, tilting his head from side to side. These yellow bulbs are adding effects to his perfect face and features. “I look good. _Really good_. As always.” It is not a jest but they both chuckle.

 

“Narcissus? Is that you? What are you doing inside Park Chanyeol’s body?” She banters in between her laugh.

 

He hums softly to himself, trying to relax his vocal chords for the performance later. He hopes that it will only be a one-time shooting to save more time of the day. There are so many things he wants to do but as usual, there is not enough time. Enough time to think, to rest, and to sleep. He can’t even remember when he last had a decent night’s rest.

 

“Ten minutes before recording, everyone! Be ready!” The director shouts from his place in the monitoring table.

 

“It’s the fourth time he shouted ten minutes.” He tells his stylist and they giggle yet again. “Is Kyungsoo not here yet?”

 

Chanyeol’s manager turns to answer. “They just entered the parking lot. Kyungsoo’s just come from a photo shoot so he’s already set for hair and make-up. We’ll be ready to go in ten.”

 

“Kyungie is busier than I am.” Chanyeol lets out a sigh.

 

“If you hadn’t got yourself in that _little_ accident, perhaps you’ll be the busiest among the three of you.” She paints his lips with a gloss. “Perks of being under the limelight.” His stylist says nonchalantly.

 

He sighs yet again as he grabs his guitar, placing his fretting and strumming fingers on the right places. A tune pounds on his head and before he knew it, his thoughts are sailing away. _Do I really wanted to be under this light?_ He asks himself as he remembers how his path went to this direction. His head is swimming in thoughts but only soulful hums escape his lips.

 

Chanyeol never dreamed of becoming this big. All he knows is that he loves music and he wants to play with his instruments and perform in front of people but the power of social media is too overwhelming. With a one-minute song cover uploaded on his Instagram account, all the cloudy paths of tomorrow are sent away and he sees himself, adored and loved by people because of his talent. _He loves it_.

 

However, it is unfair to give the sole credit to that video. He knows deep within his heart that this has started way back in high school. Things started out small. Kyungsoo, his best friend would always sing and hum at a random place and at a random time and Chanyeol made it sure he is always with his guitar so he can accompany him at any place and at any time. Before, it was just a random jamming sessions.

 

It was in their second year when Jongdae joined their circle. Thanks to Do Kyungsoo who has the audacity to tell their roommate, Jongdae, that he needs to shut up because he can’t sleep and he does not need to sing on the top of his lungs to prove that he can hit higher notes.

 

Chanyeol clearly remembers Kyungsoo’s very words.

 

“ _Will you shut it Kim Jongdae? It’s eleven in the evening for pete’s sake. Please, shut the fuck up or I’ll report you! And don’t even think you are the only one here who has a good voice, I can reach those notes too! Now, shut up. We have quiz tomorrow_.”

 

At first, Kyungsoo-Jongdae relationship is pure battling and challenging who can hold higher notes longer but as time passed, they seem to get tired and agreed to be friends at the end. Chanyeol seemed so happy about their newly found friendship. Music seemed to intertwine their souls.

 

Like them, Jongdae is also packaged with good looks and good voice. It was also him who encouraged them to perform at school events. Jongdae and Kyungsoo with the mic and Chanyeol with any instruments he deemed fit for the song. May it be guitar, piano, or drums. More often than not, Chanyeol will rearrange some songs to give a new taste while his vocalists materialize his ideas during the performances, giving more life to the songs.

 

“Okay? Are we all ready?” There are few distant shouts on the other side of the room. “Alright, ten more minutes!” Someone barks yet again. Chanyeol is a little rattled and huffs as he realizes it is fifty minutes if totalled. To compose himself, he resumes in his thoughts, his hums, and he strums.

 

It was never a struggle if you have good looks and so since then, their names has always been mentioned in the little chitchats of almost everyone in the school. Even more so when two freshmen who go by the name of Oh Sehun and Kim Jongin joined the trio.

 

Oh Sehun also plays the guitar, but with Chanyeol on the same instrument, he decided to hold the four strings, playing the bass guitar instead. Kim Jongin has this inclination to thump and thud whenever he feels like banging his hands against something so he was given the Cajon. It is important to note, however, that it is only his Kyungsoo hyung whom he cannot hit.

 

There were a few number of times when Chanyeol will be forced to sing due to unfortunate circumstances like Jongdae catching a cold or Kyungsoo getting a sore throat. Those were some moments Chanyeol did not enjoy if it were not for the claps and cheers of the audience. Yes, he loves music but singing seems to hate him. Unlike Kyungsoo’s and Jongdae’s, his voice is low, deep, and husky. This has been one of his insecurities since their band was formed. He can’t sing the way his best friend can and he always felt like his shadow, hiding behind the instruments he plays.

 

When he recorded the video four years ago that pave way for his name to be under the limelight, it was not his voice he was flaunting, but his guitar skills. However, the comment section were flooded by how beautiful and resounding his voice was. How his deep and husky voice gave more emphasis to the meaning of the song. Since then, he has learned to love he voice he was given.

 

Even when college hit them like a colossal rock, they never ran out of time to jam. Some songs they were able to film and upload, while some sessions are just for them to unwind and release academic stress. Their group continued to gain popularity.

 

After their graduation, the five of them were recruited under an entertainment agency and has gathered overwhelming number of supporters. However, Chanyeol never stayed _just_ under the spotlight. He also works behind the scenes, either rearranging songs or composing new ones.

 

Occasionally, when he feels so on fire, he will create a tune – a _melody_ in his mac. From it, he will let series of words gush out of his heart, mind, and soul. A new song will be born that will dominate the music charts. In the span of their four-year career, he was able to create a total of 18 songs, but the last five songs are yet to be released. They have produced three albums which turned the whole music industry upside down – two music videos surpassing 11 million views.

 

A poke on his side brings him out of his trance as Sehun takes a seat beside him, “Hyung, you just dropped in ranking. Still trending, but you dropped. Number 2. Kyungsoo hyung is number 4.” He remarks as he continues to focus on his phone.

 

“Who’s in the first place?” Chanyeol asks, trying to sound interested about the trending spots.

 

“Of course, it’s us.” Sehun grins, teasing his hyung.

 

Chanyeol furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean _us_? _Us_ as in you and Jongin or _us_ as in the five of us.”

 

“J-SKY.” He sighs then rolls his eyes. “They’re asking why Jongdae hyung is not in the cover.”

 

“Tell them it’s because of his schedule.”

 

Nearly five minutes later, Do Kyungsoo walks in the set, bowing to the director and the staff before approaching them. A white polo tucked in his black slacks, his black hair brushed up. Indeed, he does not need to be assisted by stylists anymore. Behind him, Jongin tags along, yawning.

 

“You’re late.” Sehun comments impassively from where he sits, as he tries to dodge Kyungsoo’s attempt to ruffle his brown hair.

 

“According to the clock I am not. I’m always on time. Unlike someone here…” Kyungsoo nudges a sleepy Jongin who looks like he’s ready to nod off any moment now. “And someone over there,” he looks over to Chanyeol as he completes his sentence, “who seems to be very eager about so many things. Arriving an hour before the scheduled time and spoils his mood while waiting.”

 

Jongin just offers a sheepish smile at his hyung. “At least I’ve never missed a rehearsal.” He says, as he smirks at Sehun while Kyungsoo continues to pat his shoulder.

 

“Very lame, Jongin. And that was one time, may I remind you.”

 

“Time to go kids.” Chanyeol’s manager comes just in time just as Sehun gets up from his chair to maim Jongin.

 

Chanyeol smiles and puts his arms around Kyungsoo as they walk to the main set. “Ready?”

 

“Always.”

***

 

Today’s cover will be one of EXO’s hit music, Monster. The song choice was from the request of the fans as they are dying to hear an acoustic version. And so, here they are, granting their wish after a month of pleading and plaguing.

 

Chanyeol sits at the center chair and he hugs his guitar comfortably. Fingers itching to press and strum. Kyungsoo is beside him, nestling on a box as tall as Chanyeol’s chair and holding a mic. Beside them is Oh Sehun and Kim Jongin ready to play their parts. Their backs are against the blinding lights. Chanyeol does not know what he will do, had they had the opposite position.

 

Jongin thuds the Cajon twice as Sehun plucks three bass strings, sending a whole booming sound, signalling the start of the performance. The staff and crew watching are in their mercy.

 

_Modu nal duryeowohae_ , _So I’m untouchable man_ ,

_Keunde ne jinsimeun wae_ ,

_Gyeolkuke nal keobu mothae_ ,

_Sumeseo humchyeobodaka kkamjjak nolaji_

 

Following his own arrangement, Chanyeol starts with the rap. His eyes are closed, his deep voice, low and husky vibrates with emotion - something he knows people go crazy over – not just his fans but the critics as well. His deft fingers move at their own accord, pressing and strumming correctly.

 

Kyungsoo joins as they get to the chorus, his voice wandering on the higher notes while Chanyeol stays lower. The Cajon and the guitars build the climax.

 

_I’m creeping in your heart babe,_

_Duijibko muneoteurigo samgyeo,_

_geurae nal humchya tamnikhae,_

_neol mangchya noheulgeoya_.

 

Blissful cadence fills the room, as their voices blended together accompanied by the strumming of the guitars and the thudding of the Cajon. The crews struggle to hold their gasps of awes.

 

_Ne mamsoge kaginduin chae, Chukeodo yeongwonhi sale, Come here girl, You call me monster._

 

For a moment, it is just Chanyeol and his guitar.

 

_Creeping, creeping, creeping, creeping, creeping, creeping_. _She got me gone crazy_ …

 

Kyungsoo finishes his line with a resounding _ooh_. Soon, Jongin’s thuds are dying and with one last pluck in Sehun’s bass guitar, the song ends.

 

There are series of clicks before the staffs can finally clap their hands to their hearts’ content. The cheers they were holding back lest they disturb the performance finally echo in the room. They all congratulate the five of them for another successful cover song done with just one take.

 

“Congratulations, Chan! I think the fans will love this version.” Kyungsoo approaches his best friend. “You are really great in rearranging songs!”

 

Chanyeol smiles genuinely, “I hope so. Anyway, it’s time to go. I need to rest. Will you go straight to your apartment?” Chanyeol asks Kyungsoo.

 

“Why? Where will you go? I can give you a ride.”

 

“I don’t know. Seaside, maybe? But it’s out of your way home.”

 

“Seaside? Why? Are you alright? Something bothering you, Chan?”

 

“Not that, I mean, I just want to–”

 

“Hey guys. Sorry to interrupt.” A knock cuts Chanyeol off.  “Can you give a message to your fans? Just a short one.” The director visits them on their corner when Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are about to leave. They are ushered back to the studio.

 

Chanyeol waves at the camera with his usual grinning face, “Hello, this is Park Chanyeol and I’m with my best friend Do Kyungsoo. I could not thank you enough for all the love and support you are giving _J-SKY_. We promise to work harder to produce better music for all of you. As for the little accident I got myself into, don’t worry, I will be very careful next time. I love you all! Please be with us until the end! Thank you so much!”

***

 

Chanyeol’s watch strikes 4:55 as Kyungsoo maneuvers through the Wednesday afternoon traffic in Seoul. Even though out of his way, Kyungsoo insisted to drop Chanyeol off the seaside. The sky burns fiery orange and gold.

 

“You are awfully quiet today. What’s the matter, Chan?”

 

“Really? Am I?” His eyes widen, glancing at his best friend.

 

“You haven’t spoken since I asked to drop you off the bay. Is there something wrong?”

 

Chanyeol immediately warms at his words. Kyungsoo knows him too much to take his silence as something equal to _I’m okay_ , although he really is. “Do you remember the nineteenth song I’m telling you?” He replies casually, revealing his thoughts. He looks outside the window.

 

“Yea. Why? Are you done with it?” Kyungsoo asks, sounding very much enthusiastic. “Give us dates so we can practice.”

 

Chanyeol shifts into a more comfortable position. He feels a tug in his heart – something that tells him that the _song_ is not for Kyungsoo or for Jongdae to sing. _No, not for them._ “Actually, I haven’t done anything about it. But I want it to be special.”

 

“Special or not, you know it will top the charts, right? C’mon. Our fans are dying to hear another wave of original songs.”

 

Chanyeol pouts. A thought passes, saying that he wanted more than that, so he voices them out, “I need to think. Rethink, I mean. I want this song to be more than just a proof of fame, but a display of talent. Do you think there would be many people on a Wednesday afternoon?”

 

Kyungsoo teases as he turns right. “This is the fourth time this week, Chan. You are being sentimental again.”

 

“Kyungie.” Chanyeol sighs but unable to fight the smile. “I just feel like I’m looking for something.”

 

“An inspiration? So you can write. Don’t tell me you’re looking now for a lover. Because you don’t have to look that far if that’s the case.” Kyungsoo winks at him.

 

He smacks Kyungsoo on the arm. “Knock it off!” He laughs.

 

“So what are you looking for?” Kyungsoo asks as he leans on the steering wheel to peek at the stoplight. “Clearly not sunset. I thought you love sunrise more.”

 

“You know me too well.” Chanyeol grimaces. He loves his best friend knowing him that much but sometimes, it is very hard to lock things away when you have allowed people inside the deepest parts of you.

 

Chanyeol does not know why but he wants his nineteenth song to be _so_ special. There are times when he has to find the right tune and the right time to create a song. But there are times when melodies and words are the ones coming to him with the want to consume his soul.

 

He has not started to write nor hum to a tune but he can feel it vibrating in his heart. Chanyeol feels the _melody_   waiting for him.

 

He struggles to find the words to explain his thoughts so he plainly responds, “Schedule. I would have gone earlier this morning if it weren’t for our shoot. And you, for being late.”

 

“Will you stop it? I’m not late, you guys are just early.” He rolls his eyes. “Anyway, acoustic jam is four days away. Jongdae says he will go. Tell me if you can’t have your poor car by then. I will be so happy to give you a ride.”

 

“Sure, thanks. I’ll call you.” Chanyeol lets out a sigh of frustration as the thought of his lightly wrecked car passes.

 

Kyungsoo pats his shoulder and playfully sniggers, “This must remind you not to be reckless in driving. Just because you are famous does not mean you are exempted from the law.”

 

“I know. You don’t have to remind me of how famous I am.” He fires back, chuckling. “I didn’t know you’re into twitter too! Sehun’s influence is really superb.” He runs his fingers on his hair as he slouches down his seat, trying to look deflated.

 

“Chan… I’m serious.” But Kyungsoo’s face tells otherwise and they both break into a light laughter.

 

There are another series of turns. Soon enough, the bay peeks from the view. Chanyeol’s heart jumps upon seeing very few people in the seaside.

 

“Thank you so much, Kyungie! Today is so fun! I hope the fans will like it.” He says as he unhinges himself from the seat belt. He gathers his things, ready to go outside.

 

“Take care! Don’t attract too much attention.”

 

“Yes, mom.” Chanyeol smiles.

 

Kyungsoo did not respond, _at least not with words_. He whacks a fist on his chest. Feeling triumphant that Chanyeol was not able to dodge the hit.

 

“One more of that and I’ll put you in jail.” Chanyeol feigns coughs, massaging his front. He opens the car door and hops out.

 

“You’ll be in the hospital before you can do that.” Kyungsoo threatens from the open window. Chanyeol rolls his eyes.

 

“Text me when you’re home. Thank you, Kyungie.” Chanyeol waves at the car until it is out of sight.

 

He immediately puts on a face mask, wary of his surroundings. He wants time alone which would be impossible if someone spots and recognizes him.

 

“So hard to be this handsome.” He whispers with a sigh. Arranging his guitar strap, he goes ahead.

 

He buys a mocha latte in his favourite coffee shop before walking along the seaside. He eyes his favourite spot in one of the cemented stone edges. He is very much happy to find out that are only few people there with a satisfying distance from where he wants to sit – where he _always_ sits. However, as he nears his spot, he sees another guy too close to his ideal place.

 

“Tssk!” Chanyeol, being eaten by his pride, huffs and continues to walk to the spot he eyes rather than looking for another. “That’s my place.” He mutters. He wishes that this guy does not know him to avoid causing a commotion and ruin his alone-time.

 

The guy sitting near his spot has his back facing Chanyeol. His eyes are immediately captured by his dazzling, tousled, brown hair. Literally burning gold as the sunlight cascades through the strands. Chanyeol is close enough now to see that he is painting.

_Impressive,_ he smiles as he continues to watch silently.

 

With his back grazing the wall of the stones, he hoists himself up, putting much weight on his palms and arms to sit, but as he turns around to face the waves crashing below him, his guitar accidentally knocks something off. His fingers, sprawled on his side, feel something wet and thick. Soon enough, his hand is tainted with white paint.

 

“Heey! I’m... I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...” Chanyeol stutters as he scrambles to his position.

 

Now, the boy looks at him, a little shocked. He plugs his earphones out, as if to accommodate. His eyes trailing to him then to the paint. His eyes widen. Without responding, he immediately grabs his brush and saves what can be saved. Trying to get the paint inside the canister impassively.

 

Chanyeol gapes at him, afraid, unable to read the other’s emotion. Not knowing what to do add up to his fear. _But why is he afraid_ , he asks silently. It is just a paint after all.

 

“It’s alright.” The boy replies nonchalantly. Not bothering to look up.

 

He removes his mask to speak. “A-are you sure?” Chanyeol stutters a little more. “You’re not mad?”

 

“It’s alright.” He sighs. “It’s just paint. Though, I really need that white.” His tone sounds cool to suggest that he is not angry. He looks up and meets his gaze and for a moment, they stay like that.

 

It is Chanyeol who breaks away first. “Don’t… don’t you know me?” He wants to call all the waves and drown himself for asking such an obvious and stupid question. Of course, the boy does. _Why would_ …

 

“No." The boy furrows his brows, confusion is painted on his eyes. "Should I know you?” Chanyeol feels offended and even though this is what he wished, for the boy not to know him to avoid commotion, he feels his ego has been stabbed.

 

Chanyeol blinks several times before composing himself. He does not know that his mouth literally fell at the response until he needs to swallow his saliva, pressing his lips together. He clears his throat before speaking, clearly embarrassed. “No. I suppose not.” His gazes wander to the setting sun as he listens to the crashing waves. Spilling gold, red, and pink streaks in the sky. There are white clouds looming above, with futile attempts to hide the ball of fire. Chanyeol feels guiltier. He must really need that white paint.

 

From an outsider point of view, one can tell that they could be friends. Seated cross-legged beside each other, too near for their bodies to touch and but still too far to avoid contact yet they did not bother moving to another place.

 

He glances back at the boy beside him, who completely ignores him again as he busies himself in his painting, earphones plugged in once more. He sits tall and he holds the paintbrush with elegance. His white t-shirt fails to hide how skinny his body is.

 

He is shocked as his eyes land on the canvass in which he works. He is expecting a circle of yellowish with tinges of orange that would somehow resemble the sun, expecting a wavy streaks of blue for the water, and puffy white things for the clouds. But instead, he sees plain streaks of pink, blue, and white. There were spiralling strokes of grey and varying sizes of black droplets scattered across the canvass. The boy dips the brush in the water bottle to clear it off the previous color before he allows it to dive in colour blue.

 

Chanyeol notices then that the boy never glances up to look at the scenery before him – as he thinks he would be, had he endeavoured to paint the sky. The boy’s arms and hand seem to move with a tempo. Like accompanying a music, _accompanying his humming_. The painting, almost done, gives Chanyeol the impression of tranquillity. Full of life even just with the use of four colors.

 

“Wow.” Chanyeol gasps, clearly amazed. In its own accord, his lips breaks into another smile. Chanyeol is so busy admiring the boy’s hand and his work. It does not occur to him that maybe he is invading his privacy as he watches him paint and listens to him hum. But the boy is too lost to even notice.

 

“Uhmn, hey!” Chanyeol once more clears his throat. As if that would be enough to get his attention. But clearly, it did not work. He thinks for another minute, deliberating if it is best to approach the boy and break his little _lost in thought_ moment.

 

Chanyeol should be lost in his _own thoughts_ as what he originally planned when he came here. But now, he is seriously _lost_ in the painting – _lost_ still, nonetheless. He wonders what music has inspired the boy to paint such a tranquil abstraction. He debates with himself a little more until the verdict came.

 

“Hey.” He coos beside him, with a gentle pat on his shoulder to get his attention. Successfully, the boy tears his gaze away from the canvass he is holding and settles his eyes on his. “Uhm…” He clears his throat yet again, “What… what are you doing?”

 

This time, even without asking mentally, the waves come to him crashing a little violently. Wanting to drown him for another wave of obvious and stupid question. _Strike two Chanyeol_.

 

The boy gapes up at him flippantly. Chanyeol thinks he is debating on whether to answer his question or not. “Uhm. Painting?” His voice was gentle, but Chanyeol receives it as pure mockery, stemming from how ridiculous his question is to begin with.

 

Chanyeol is silent for another moment, thinking of how he should craft the question to arrive at his desired answer. He brushes his nape awkwardly, “I thought you are painting the sky. But it doesn’t look like a sky to me.” His tone is a little too friendly.

 

Fortunately for him, the boy acknowledges the query by responding. “This is music.” He beams, looking satisfied at the canvass on his lap. “Well, at least it is, to me.”

 

The boy’s smile catches Chanyeol off guard. It is one of the radiant things he has seen. After a few good seconds, Chanyeol finds his voice and asks, “Music?” He furrows his brows, trying to look confused. His eyes rest on the canvass.

 

“I paint music. I have Synaesthesia. If you know that.” He rubs his tainted hands together and looks at the horizon. The sun is slowly dipping itself onto the sea, now staining the water with a royal color of gold. The water glitters happily.

 

“Sy… sy what? Synthesia?” Chanyeol mutters, more to himself. He is sure he has heard it before but he struggles to recall when and where.

 

“Sy. Naes. The. Sia.” The boy enunciates the syllables clearly and explains. “I see colors when I hear music.”

 

“Really? Wow!” Chanyeol’s eyes are wide as letter O. “That’s pretty impressive.” He smiles.

 

The boy smiles back, this time looking at him. He notices his features, white-skinned, mocha brown eyes, pale and chapped lips. “Thanks! This is my 18th canvass, by the way.” He mutters gleefully. As if they are long lost best friends.

 

Chanyeol smiles at his words. Remembering the day he composed his 18th song. He fails to recognize that the boy is waiting for a response.

 

“Sorry. I… just… I mean… Well, you talked to me first… So I was like… I was thinking it could be good… to share?” The boy’s tone was more of a question than a statement. Chanyeol wants to laugh at how cute he is when he stutters like that.

 

“It’s alright. I bothered you first.” He chuckles lightly, tone even friendlier. Inviting the boy for a longer conversation. “Anyway, to be of a good sport I will be sharing something to you, too!” He exclaims, unsuccessfully hiding his excitement. The boy puts the canvass beside him to dry. He props his elbow on his one leg and rests his chin atop his palm, looking at Chanyeol with anticipation.

 

“Well,” Chanyeol starts. “You really do not know me?” He stares at the boy, reassuring. After a heartbeat of that eye contact, he breaks away and stares at the sea before them. Half of the sun is already sunken into the water, probably starting to shine gloriously in another world.

 

“Nope. Why? Are you… what? Should I know you?” He grins with a cloud of confusion in his eyes. “Tell me your name then. Let’s see.”

 

“Nah. You probably don’t know me. Because if you do, you’d probably squeal or whatever a worm does when sprinkled a pinch of salt. If you know what I mean,” He raises his eyebrows, impishly.

 

Chanyeol hears a chuckle, a beautiful one. “Well, I can guess you are too full of yourself. I won’t wriggle like a worm just because I see someone this handsome.”

 

He closes his eyes, mustering his energy to calm down and avoid burning his cheeks. “You think, I’m handsome.”

 

“Because you said my painting is impressive. I’m playing fair.” His lips tug into a playful smile. Chanyeol cannot see it fully, but he satisfies himself with what his peripheral vision can give him.

 

“You are cruel.” Chanyeol pouts. “And actually, you having synaesthesia is impressive. Not really the painting.”

 

“You are cruel. More cruel.” A laughter once again escapes the boy’s lips. It is so infectious that Chanyeol finds himself laughing with him. “What is it then? What are you going to tell me?”

 

Chanyeol clears his throat for the nth time since he talked to the boy. “Well, I’m quite famous.” He hears a chortle before he can even continue.

 

“Nice try.”

 

“What? I’m telling the truth. I am famous.” His tone was a little defensive.

 

The boy teases. “Do you suppose that would impress me?”

 

Chanyeol raises his hands in protest, slightly shaking his head. “For one, I am not trying to impress you. And two, I really am famous.”

 

Another wave of laughter, this time, a little louder. As if the boy enjoys this so much. “Is that why you are asking me if I know you?”

 

“Anyway,” Chanyeol ignores the response and fights hard not to roll his eyes. He continues, “I am… well, I make songs. If that painting is your 18th canvass, then the last song I made 6 months ago is my 18th originally composed song.” He expects a retort or a simple response but none came. Soon, he is forced to look sideways and witness the boy gaping up at him. Jaw dropped. Amazement clouding his eyes.

 

“Impressive, right?” Chanyeol supplies the term for him and smirks. The boy bites his lip and looks away. To the horizon that is slowly eaten by darkness. It is Chanyeol’s turn to gaze at him and admire the view. He feels light, talking to this stranger.

 

“Yes.” The boy nodded in agreement. “Very impressive. I get to write songs too. But they are very few. It’s hard to find melody sometimes. So, most of the times, they remain as poems. Words waiting to be sung.”

 

“There are times that you don’t have to find melody. Melody will find you.” Chanyeol replies, also resting his eyes in the horizon.

 

“Really? It has not found me, then. If that’s the case.”

 

“You have to surrender yourself. No inhibitions, no walls around your heart and soul. The melody is there, but you have to let it in.”

 

No words came from the boy’s lips. For a moment, Chanyeol lets the silence engulf them. Letting themselves take the liberty to digest each word that was said. Maybe this is why Chanyeol feels light talking to him. They share a mutual interest. _Music_. May it be in the form of saying the words with rhythm or stroking the brush with colors – still, it is music.

 

Music which seems to be always successful in weaving souls together.

 

“What is your name, by the way?” Chanyeol breaks the comforting silence. The night sky has completely defeated the daylight. Stars are twinkling beautifully, glittering in the black duvet hovering over the sky.

 

“Baekhyun. My name is Byun Baekhyun.” The boy’s eyes twinkle as he states his name.

 

Chanyeol thought he could not be close to any star as he is now. Sitting beside this boy named, Baekhyun.

***

 

“Okay. Let me know if you found something interesting. I really need that information.” Chanyeol’s phone is sandwiched between his neck and his shoulder as he fishes out his jacket from his travel bag. His things were already fixed last night for the acoustic jam tomorrow.

 

“Who is he by the way? Do you know him, by any chance?” Joonmyeon’s voice answers from the other end of the line.

 

“Kind of. But I really don’t. That’s why I need info.” He replies, tone calmed and eased but with urgency. “When can I get it?”

 

“Tomorrow. If we are so lucky.”

 

“Okay. Thanks! Beep me up immediately if something comes. Will be waiting. Sorry to be bothering you at this hour. Thanks, Myeon!” He hangs up after the other mutters his goodbyes.

 

It is pretty much a wonderful day, or _dawn_ – if he is to be more specific. There are no traces of the sun yet as his surrounding drowns peacefully in darkness. He is up and is headed towards the bay to witness the sun ascending to its throne and to think. _Again_. Taking advantage of everyone being asleep.

 

He has his guitar with him though he does not feel like composing this morning. He admits, however, that he does not know when a fire of passion would burn in his heart – _no one really knows_ – and will ache so much until he finishes _composing_. With a pen and a paper ready, he walks out of his apartment.

 

He sends a message to his best friend who is probably still sleeping.

 

_To: Kyungieee_

_Can’t have my car for tom :’c can you pick me up? Good morning, btw. Will jog now. On my way to the seaside._

His apartment is not near from the seaside but not far enough, so jogging has never been much of a problem. He jogs his way there for a good 25 minutes. He does not need to be so too _careful_ since there are very few people on the streets, too busy buying breakfast to spend an ounce of time looking at and recognizing him.

 

After buying vanilla frappe and a cheesecake slice, he arrives at his favourite spot, a little out of breath and all sweaty, quite annoyed at himself for arriving four minutes later than his intended time. He is kind of expecting that he will be lost in the thoughts of the Baekhyun boy and his tranquil painting, and so he sits there, drowning himself with the images of that day.

 

“I know. I’m the stupidest person on earth.” The waves crashing below him seem to agree. He continues to talk to the water, to the air. “Annoying, right? I should’ve asked him.”

 

The irritation sweeps him off of his feet again for not asking where he lives or what he does aside from painting, song-writing, and poem-making. The image of someone named Mr. Zhang picking up Baekhyun and carefully assisting him in his car as if he would break flood him once more.

 

He struggles to free himself of those thoughts. He sighs heavily, wanting to know more about _him_. “Who are you, Baekhyun?”

 

Fame has always consumed him and so has fear – _fear_ of fame being taken away. It has long been designed in his mind that he is famous and everybody knows him – _wants_ him. It makes him feel alive. It is true that it hurt when the boy admitted that he does not know him. But it is truer, indeed, the kind of truth that he would not have expected, that Baekhyun not knowing him seems to be a _fresh_ air. He felt _light_ that night. _Tranquil_ , he remembers the word. Tranquil, just like _his_ painting.

 

Minutes have passed before a gold streak strikes his face and he glances up. He smiles, the sun is coming. It seems to help him get out of his trance. Soon enough, there are words popping on his mind. Gushing. He fishes out his pen and notebook in the pockets of his guitar case. Afraid that the words may escape, he starts to write.

 

The sky, at the moment, is a battleground of colors white, black, grey, and gold. Fighting for dominance even though it seems obvious what colors will win. He is reminded again of the colors in Baekhyun’s canvass. But unlike the boy, even without a tempo, he proceeds to create an art. Using only a black ink to create intelligible words and _nuances_ instead of variety colors and strokes of abstraction.

 

_Black, white, and grey_

_Are my favourite colors._

_Sometimes I see them,_

_Mostly I feel them._

_These are the colors_

_My soul enjoys._

_For they are what I feel,_

_Black and white, but grey is more real._

_Grey is a paradoxical mixture_

_Its tactility, I better understand_

_A product of black and white._

_But not a plain color in my sight._

_The times when I’m not happy,_

_But I don’t feel sad._

_I’m somewhere in between_

_Grey is what can be seen._

_A color of a punctured soul_

_Neither light nor dark_

_A color of tiredness_

_From intense to numbness_

 

There are lines stroked through some words as he struggles for aptness. It takes Chanyeol a good half an hour in writing that 20-lined poem about colors. It is somehow true, that these colors are his favourite. But he is caught off guard, surprised by how gloomy the tone of _his_ poem is. He wonders where the words are coming from, for he is very sure that he feels _very fine_ this morning.

 

“Why am I being sentimental again?” He asks the waves when his phone vibrates. Fishing it out, he reads:

 

_From: Kyungieee_

_Good morning, Chan! Alright then. Be ready at around six. And why are you in the seaside? Being sentimental again Park Chanyeol?!? XD_

_I told you if you need a lover I’m just… kekeke_

He smiles at his message, literally hearing his voice but he feels a tug in his heart. There is something in Kyungsoo that warms his heart. But he cannot feel any butterflies – the kind of feeling mentioned in books when someone is in love and he is too naïve to oppose the characterization.

 

Even with Jongdae’s teases ringing in his mind, he forces himself to drop the thoughts of Kyungsoo being in love with him. He replies:

 

_To: Kyungieee_

_I told you I don’t need a lover. I need a melody so we can sing more songs. Anws, why are you up this early?_

“ _You two look good together._ ” Jongdae would sometimes joke. To perform on stage is not the only incitement Jongdae made. Upon knowing that Chanyeol has been single since he broke up with his girlfriend during his second year in high school, Jongdae did not fail to suggest that he finds another one. More importantly, he did not fail to stress that Kyungsoo _might be the one_.

 

_From: Kyungieee_

_Because you texted me early! -_-_

_To: Kyungieee_

_Isn’t ur phone in a silent mode? =_=_

The rays of the sun stain the sky yellow and orange. His signal to go home. As he gathers his things, his phone beeps yet again.

 

_From: Kyungieee_

_It isn’t if the caller or the sender is named after the idiot PARK CHANYEOL!!! =_=_

Fuming Kyungsoo is the kind of face Chanyeol would want to see every single day. Easily angered creature his best friend is but it is one of the things he loves about him.

 

_To: Kyungieee_

_KEKEKEKE. I’m sorry to be bothering you this early. Go grab your breakfast. I will go home now._

Rounding a corner, he stops shortly in a supermarket to buy some stuffs he would need for tomorrow. “It can’t be because of Baekhyun’s color painting.” He mutters to himself as he sighs. Too occupied and lost in his thoughts, it fails to occur to him that it is broad daylight and many people would be there buying their own things – _as if he cared about that_ , of course.

 

It is when he is in the snack section when the yells and squeals are heard, growing closer to him. The footsteps are heavy and for a moment, he thinks there is a stampede. But the crowd, mostly girls, is smiling _hysterically_ at him.

 

“It’s Park Chanyeol!” Someone squeals.

 

“Get out of the way! Fudge! It’s Chanyeol!”

 

“Kyaaaaaaa! Chanyeol!!!!!!!”

 

Foul words can also be heard brought by the excitement at the sight of the famous Youtube Star. Soon enough, he is being pulled and pushed as his fans grab to take a hold of him. Some even try to get a picture with him amidst the chaos, snatching his arms, his face, his ears.

 

“Here, here, here! Eotteokhaeeee! Oppaaaaa!!!”

 

It is mind blowing and frightening at the same time. Chanyeol is in no position to protest – _at least that is what he thinks_ – in the fear of his fans getting mad at him but parts of him hurt.

 

“Hey, hey. Careful now.” He says, not sure if he is being heard.

 

“Park Chanyeol marry meee!”

 

He is being clawed, being screamed at. Even his hair is being pulled. “Ouch! Hey wait. Careful everyone. Here, let’s have a picture. One at a time.” He cautions once more, fragility in his tone. His voice is being drowned by the squeals.

 

Chanyeol pushes the pain at the back of his mind and instead thinks that is the way his fans show him their love and support. It swells his heart. People love him and he loves it. His arms are stretched down, hands are covering his manhood. He cannot afford to crouch if someone ever knocks it because of too much excitement.

 

Moments after, there are people in black parting the crowd and shooing them away. “Get away! Hey! Stop it now.”

 

Another man snakes his arm around his shoulder, protecting him. “Come with us, Mr. Park. I am sorry for all this commotion.”

 

It is a relief, not just because this mess will end already and he will be free from the painful grasps of his fans. But also because someone will stop them and _it is not him_. Disappointed fans is the last thing he would want to witness.

 

“I’m sorry. I have to go. Thank you. I love you all.” He breathes deeply and smiles, throwing a wave before he turns to leave, earning him another big round of applauses and screams of admiration.

 

“We love you, Park Chanyeol!” His fans chorus.

 

When he reaches his apartment, he immediately slumps down in his couch. His body is aching and sure enough, there are bruises on his arms. There are cuts and red claw marks. He looks like a mess, but for his fans, he does not regret. If this is the price of being under the limelight, he is willing to pay for it. His phone vibrates once more.

 

_From: Kyungieee_

_WHAT THE FUDGE DID I SAY ABOUT DON’T GET TOO MUCH ATTENTION?!?_ _AND DON’T ASK ME HOW I KNOW!!! WAIT TILL I SEE YOU TOMORROW! I’LL BE THE ONE TO SKIN YOU ALIVE PARK CHANYEOL!!!_

Chanyeol fights the urge to roll his eyes. He clicks the reply button but another message comes in.

 

_From: oohsehun_

_Hyung! You have a very good way of exposing yourself. I’m happy you made it out alive. Check your twitter! Kekekekekeke how does it feel being smashed by your fans?_

“Kyungsoo has twitter?” His eyes widen at the second message. Grinning, he sends his replies.

 

_To: Kyungieee_

_Don’t tell me you have a twitter, mom? Srsly? Aren’t you happy I’m alive? Love you mom! :*_

_To: oohsehun_

_It’s fun -__- you should try it sometime -___- and leave Kyungsoo out of the twitter world. Srsly. :3_

He laughs at his friends’ sweetness and concern. But he can’t shake the feeling that Kyungsoo might really skin him alive tomorrow. He shudders at the thought.

 

_From: Kyungieee_

_SHUT UP! DON’T TALK TO ME!_

_To: Kyungieee_

_Love love love <3_

***

 

The clock strikes 3:59 when Chanyeol glances up from his Mac. The time of the day seems to pass by in a blur but he never thinks answering fan mails is a waste of time. It is his way of showing he returns the love he is receiving.

 

Many apologized for the situation a while ago but Chanyeol is too happy to hold a grudge. Typing one last post, he says, _Don’t worry so much about me. I am fine and I’m doing well. I’m happy I get to see my fans in person a while ago. I hope they are all happy to see me too. I love you all!_

With a yawn, he stretches his arms and stands up. His back hurt from the scenario earlier and from slouching as he works with his Mac since he got home. But as if he didn’t learn from his lessons, he puts his favorite cap on and grabs his guitar. With a promise that he will be more _careful_ , he wears his mask and steps outside for the second time today.

 

The sun is setting when the sea peaks from a distance. As usual, he strides to his favorite place by the stone edges, kind of disappointed to find it empty. “What was I expecting?” He says under his breath, voice muffled by his mask.

 

It was foolishness to expect that the boy would be there. It might just be a mere coincidence that he was there the same time and the same place he was. He settles himself and admire the view. The sky, the sun, and the sea reminding him of that boy. He checks his phone from time to time in the hopes that Joonmyeon has called, but he has not.

 

He starts humming to himself as he takes his guitar out of its case and strums. He starts singing as his deft fingers play with the strings.

 

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind,_

_To me it happens all the time._

 

This is the song that comes to his mind first. He consciously adjusts his volume to avoid attracting another fan attack. The sun continues to sink into the horizon.

 

_It’s a quarter after one,_

_I’m all alone and I need you now,_

_I said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and_

 

“ _I need you now_.”

 

Chanyeol halts when someone choruses on those four words. His gaze travels and his heart stops a beat. He feels his jaw dropping as his eyes shape a perfect O. The boy beside him chuckles at the sight as he hoists himself up, sitting beside Chanyeol. Baekhyun beams as his eyes twinkle and his brown orbs glints against the setting sun.

 

“Baekhyun? You… you’re here?” He asks as the waves against the stones, a good few meters below them.

 

It is the third stupid question he asks the boy but he is too shocked to even bother himself with that. Soon enough, he feels his heart beating again and blood rushes to his cheeks. He hopes that the golden rays of the sun hides his crimson face.

 

“You play good. Sing good.” Baekhyun’s smile never leaves his lips as he looks at Chanyeol with admiration.

 

“Why are you here?” He stutters and big waves come back again. Itching to drown Chanyeol.

 

The boy grimaces for a heartbeat, looking a bit offended. Fortunately for Chanyeol, Baekhyun shrugs it off and plasters another smile. “I am always here. Same time, same spot of every single day.”

 

Chanyeol takes a look at his watch. _4:30 PM._

 

“Here?” He raises an eyebrow, then glares at the waves coming to him. Mentally screaming, _I know! I look like an idiot asking these questions but can you blame me?_

“Yes. I like watching the sunset. And this is just the second time I have seen you around here. The first, of course, was three days ago. Remember?”

 

“Really? Me too! Same spot. But I love watching sunrise more. So maybe that’s why we didn’t meet. I’m here early. As in early, crack of the dawn.”

 

Baekhyun puckers his lips and exhales, crossing his legs as he props his elbow up. He leans down to rest his chin atop his fist. Chanyeol does the same, gathering his dangling feet, afraid to be swallowed by the raging waves if he leaves his legs off the other side of the stone edges. He rests his arms on his guitar, hugging it.

 

“It’s alright.” Baekhyun says after a moment. “At least we are under the same sky.”

 

Chanyeol is struck with his words. He is silent for a moment, struggling to gather words that his mind fails to grasp. “Are you always this poetic?” He asks, grinning. He is sure to remember those words and put them in a song. _Same sky_.

 

“You are more poetic than I am.” He smiles again by the time Chanyeol turns to gaze at him.  _What a wonderful sight._ Chanyeol feels his insides are melting.

 

“What’s with melody will find you and, what’s that again?” He glances up to the heaven, trying to remember Chanyeol’s very words. Looking like an imaginary bulb pops, Baekhyun sits tall and clears his throat, looking serious “The melody is there, but you have to let it in.” He laughs after successfully imitating Chanyeol. Again, it is too infectious that Chanyeol bursts in laughter.

 

After moments of giggling beside one another, Baekhyun shoots Chanyeol another question that throws him off guard. “Chanyeol, you are Park Chanyeol right?” He beams as the sun continues to say goodbye.

 

Chanyeol gapes at him for a good minute, not that he counts the seconds. “You know me? Now?” The giant waves rush back to meet him.

 

“The famous Youtube star.” He says without letting his eyes leave the scenery before them. “Congratulations to your new song cover by the way. I bet it was a success. Two million views now, am I right?” He chuckles.

 

It takes Chanyeol a moment to realize something is odd. As he continues to stare at Baekhyun, he sees that the boy’s countenance is happy yet calm. He did not squeal in delight upon knowing the Chanyeol is a star and it quite bugs him. _Is he not impressed_? He thinks and voices them out, “You are not impressed?”

 

“Of course, I am. I admire your talent.”

 

Chanyeol sighs, “I don’t think you do. You… you didn’t squeal and all. Like my _real_ fans.”

 

“Just because I didn’t, doesn’t mean I do not mean what I say. Would you rather that I squeal and attract many people? I guess you’ll be thrown in the water then.” He eyes Chanyeol as he speaks the words, “I’m telling you this once again. I am not _impressed_ by your fame. If that’s what you want to mean.” He speaks carefully. It is not intended _to_ _not offend_ Chanyeol but for him to clearly hear. “You are more than that.”

 

“How could you say that? Who is Chanyeol without his fame, right? You don’t understand. You’re not famous.” He sighs, a little disappointed at the sudden turn of their conversation.

 

“I don’t need to experience everything to know something.” Baekhyun gathers his legs to his arms and hugs them close to his chest. He rests his chin atop his knees. “There will come a time when you’ll realize and say and hope that people will all become famous.” He pauses as he takes a deep breath. “For them to understand that fame is not everything.”

 

Chanyeol is silenced once more. The look on Baekhyun’s face says that he realizes that fame is a sensitive topic for Chanyeol. It is understandable, for a star like him.

 

“How did you know it’s me?” Chanyeol asks and eyes the waves at the same time. “I mean, how do you know, I am who I am?” The waves are a bit calm when they reach the rocks near them. He smiles, he asks the right question this time.

 

“I did my research.” Baekhyun is also happy that Chanyeol initiated the diversion in their conversation.

 

“How? How did you know my name?”

 

“Soon. You’ll know.” He beams at his direction and Chanyeol automatically melts. “Can you… uhm… play again? Don’t you want to sing?”

 

Chanyeol chuckles slightly and positions his guitar, obliging. “What song?” He raises a brow with a smile on his lips as he observes Baekhyun choosing songs from his mental playlist.

 

“Can you continue Need You Now? Sorry I interrupted a while ago.”

 

Soon enough, their voices blended, soaring, across the night sky. Not too loud, though, lest they would attract attention of many people. Getting himself hurt again is an issue, but bringing Baekhyun with him is another story.

 

Chanyeol admires Baekhyun’s voice. It is so good, so angelic. As he strums, he considers asking Baekhyun to do a song cover with him.

 

After Need You Now, they sang three more songs: She’s Dreaming, Unfair, and My Lady – all of which are EXO. Chanyeol does the rap parts while the other sings the lines of the vocals, reaching high notes with finesse and it makes Chanyeol admire him more. Baekhyun seems to be oblivious of their sitting position which is not a very ideal position while singing. His voice never cracks nor trembles.

 

The boy sings with his eyes closed, allowing Chanyeol to look at Baekhyun’s face fully. The way words would roll off his lips and tongue, the way his forehead would crease as they reach the songs’ climax, and the imaginary lines made by his hand gestures against the air. It was all so beautiful. _No inhibitions_. Their voices produced a wonderful cadence.

 

At the last strum on the strings, Baekhyun opens his eyes and claps happily. Clearly satisfied with their jamming session. “You play good!”

 

“You sing well. Really well.” Chanyeol moves his guitar on his other side and leans forward.

 

“Uhm… if you want to… well, can you… like, do a song cover with me?” He is facing the sky again, afraid that Baekhyun might see the disappointment in his eyes if he rejects the offer.

 

“We just did, didn’t we?” The boy chortles beside him.

 

“I mean, the usual cover song, to be uploaded on Youtube. Something like that? Your talent needs exposure. Believe me.”

 

“Don’t use me for your fame. Please. You don’t need me to increase your popularity.” Had it not been for the chuckle, Chanyeol will feel seriously offended at the response.

 

“I’m not using you.” He reasons honestly. He is even surprised at how much truth those four words have. Sure, he wants to display Baekhyun, but that is purely because of the boy’s talent and not for him to attract more fans.

 

He feels guilty remembering his best friend Kyungsoo. He also wanted to display Kyungsoo but there were underlying motives when he first asked him to do song covers. The realization surprises him even more.

 

_What’s with Baekhyun_? He thinks. _Again_.

 

Baekhyun beams at him. “Maybe next time.” It is not a yes. Not a no either and so Chanyeol contents himself with that.

 

After a few moments, Baekhyun is at it again, throwing Chanyeol random questions. Chanyeol believes those are good questions, since the waves are not so violent when crashing against the stones before them.

 

“So, why sunrise?”

 

Chanyeol gathers his thought before answering. He has not really thought much about sunrise. For a busy person like him, he does not have the time to think about petty things. But clearly, the rising and the setting sun is not a petty thing for the guy beside him.

 

It has been part of his routine since he was a kid. His older sister would usually take him to the seaside and have a walk, just as the sun is about to come up. Yes, he admires the colors but that is all.

 

Chanyeol answers honestly, “Haven’t thought much about that, though. It has been part of my routine when I was a kid. But I admire the glinting gold streaks it casts against the dark. And… of course, is not the sun a symbol of hope of some sort? Defeating darkness and all that.” Chanyeol hopes that his attempt to be poetic is not futile.

 

“Depends what metaphor you attached to it.” Baekhyun responds.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Sunrise can be a symbol of hope. That is correct. But to say that all people see it as a symbol of hope, well, I might disagree on that.”

 

“Why is that?” Chanyeol is clearly enjoying the conversation. It is just about the sun yet Baekhyun looks so captivating.

 

“Take me as an example…” Baekhyun pauses as he finds words to say, wandering his eyes on the darkened horizon.

 

_Take me_ rings in Chanyeol’s ears as he literally wants to take Baekhyun somewhere only they can go. As Baekhyun searches for the words, Chanyeol struggles to control his thoughts.

 

A few seconds after, Baekhyun continues, “I see sunset as a symbol of hope more than sunrise. And trust, too!”

 

This arouses Chanyeol’s curiosity more. “What? Hope in darkness?” He lets out a soft chuckle.

 

“Well, firstly, it’s kind of a trust. _Mutual trust_. I trust the sun that it will be back after leaving me. And it fulfils its promise. It shines bright when I open my eyes. The sun trusts me to be okay even if it says goodbye. See?” He points at the sky, sprinkled with twinkling stars. “It’s kind of sweet to have its little stars to watch over me. I feel like it’s making sure I’m okay. Both of us are hopeful that things are still okay when it comes back, shining.”

 

Chanyeol gapes at him with full admiration and adoration. He never talked to someone so _deep_. _It’s like that with all of the writers_ , he thinks but halts himself forcefully as he realizes that he is also a writer, a poet of some sort, and a singer. _An artist_ just like Baekhyun is. But he never went too deep for things like this.

 

When he is with his friends, all they think about is the future, their schedule, their fans, their careers. Never in his life would he thought that he would engage into a conversation as simple as the sun but as deep as the sea before them.

 

Baekhyun continues explaining, “Sunrise is more of a triumph for me. It is a symbol of victory because it is a proof that made it through the night.” He smiles, a soft and genuine one. Chanyeol is left breathless and speechless.

 

“Now, who’s more poetic?”

 

Baekhyun gives him a look close to disgusted. “I’m not being poetic here.”

 

In his defense, Chanyeol scrambles for words. “Sorry. I mean, I am not really a deep person like you. Thinking about what you’ve said, it makes me question the songs I made before. They are not that deep. The meanings I mean. Most are just pure confession of love. Romance. Something like that. Not really, things like this.”

 

“Well,” Baekhyun cuts himself mid sentence when Chanyeol speaks a little more.

 

“Now I wonder, how those songs became popular. Some of them, I admit, are mediocre. Like, I just really want to show them off my fans.” He heaves another deep sigh.

 

“It’s alright.” He pats his arm and Chanyeol is taken aback by the sudden contact but the other seems to be oblivious about it. “You can’t really explore the depth of your soul if you always do things for other people. It’s really not healthy, Yeol.” He looks at him with sad eyes.

 

Chanyeol gapes at him again at the mention of a _nickname_. His nickname for him. But he does not fail in registering the boy’s words in his system.

 

“I know. They are kind of toxic in some ways. But I haven’t really thought of that, until now. Guess your words are so powerful. I have enough to think about for the night.”

 

“Why don’t you explore then? Your inner self, in composing your nineteenth song? Not just like a romance that you said. Something about life, or love still, maybe but deeper than just saying I love you.”

 

Chanyeol’s heart stops for the following reasons: one, Baekhyun _exactly_ remembers that he composed 18 songs and two, he says I love you. Struggling, he pushes this thoughts at the back of his mind and composes himself.

 

“Okay. Maybe, you can help me compose?” He smiles, brushing the lock of hair in his forehead.

 

“Sounds like fun. If we meet again.”

 

“When? When can we meet again?”

 

Chanyeol’s heart again wriggles in his chest like a fluttering bird demanding freedom when Baekhyun winks at him and says “Soon. _Very soon_. You’ll know.”

 

He asks himself, _are writers really this ambiguous in their responses_? He feels like he is missing something out. Something to complete a puzzle. Knowing that his answer would just contain the same ambiguity had he asked the same question, he raises another one.

 

“All right. My turn.”

 

Baekhyun throws him a look, confusion clouding his beautiful face.

 

“My turn to ask.” Chanyeol clears and plasters a smirk. “Girl or boy?”

 

Confusion looms over Baekhyun’s face more. “What do you mean?” Chanyeol has the full attention of the boy now. His body angling towards him. His eyes bury in his.

 

“Romantic relationship. Preference?” Chanyeol retains his smirk.

 

“Oh! That.” Baekhyun is forced to tear his gaze away. He swallows what seems to be a lump in Chanyeol’s eyes before speaking, “Well. I really don’t have preference. Whoever I fall in love with and if she _or he_ loves me back, then I guess that will do?” He returns his gaze to Chanyeol cautiously. Examining if he gets the right answer Chanyeol wants.

 

He clears his throat once more. “For me, love knows no gender. You can’t control who you fall in love with, right?” He tries to smile and successfully plasters a genuine one.

 

“Maybe. Maybe you’re right.” Chanyeol did not bother hiding his triumphant smile.

 

“How about you? What is your preference?” Baekhyun’s eyes are glinting, anticipating as he throws the question back. He seems to feel triumphant too, thinking that he caught Chanyeol off guard.

 

They are looking at each other’s eyes. Unaware of how close they are, their gazes are unwavering. Challenging. There are smiles on each other’s faces. Chanyeol almost chuckles at his question being returned to him. For him, _he_ or _she_ do not matter. As long as it is him. _Baekhyun_.

 

To voice out his response, Chanyeol leans down as he closes his eyes. Their shadows, behind them which are casted by the lamp posts on their side, collide. Chanyeol does not really know what he needs to do, to call a kiss a kiss. It is his first time touching his lips against the lips of another. Based on what he had read and watched, people tend to black out mentally as they succumb to the emotions and intimacy and _fire_. And so that is what he does, shutting off his thoughts.

 

He closes the aching gap. He moves his lower lip to taste Baekhyun’s. His lips touching the corners of his mouth, lavishing the sensation of the contact. Inhaling him as much as he can. He tastes sweet, smells sweet like baby powder and Chanyeol gets more intoxicated.

 

Baekhyun’s lips remained pressed together as the shock enters his system. But by the time Chanyeol is pulling away, Baekhyun’s parts his and leans closer, responding to his kisses. Their heads tilt to sides to give each other better access. Chanyeol’s insides swirl and he feels warm. It feels good. _So good_ that he shivers. Their lips move in harmony, claiming each other’s mouth. Touching ever so lightly but deepening if the need arises.

 

Soon, he feels the boy’s breathing raggedly against his mouth and it sends a new wave of shivers down his spine. Baekhyun’s lips are soft yet a little chapped. He feels the boy’s vulnerability and fragility in this kiss that he thinks Baekhyun might just crush himself and so Chanyeol kisses him carefully. Their nose grazes and they feel their eyelashes on each other’s skin. Their hands are kept to themselves. Neither teeth nor tongue are used. It is just pure touches of their clashing lips.

 

It is a perfect _first_ kiss for Chanyeol. The moon is smiling at them, casting white streaks onto the sea. They break apart when the need to breathe in fresh air arises. His heart thumps wildly in his chest as he feels Baekhyun’s smile on his mouth just before they put distance between them. Chanyeol cannot help but to do the same. Moments of silence passes as their eyes settle on the calm sea and the smiling moon. It is a comforting silence that embraces them. Chanyeol’s lips are still burning from the touches earlier.

 

“So I guess it’s a boy?” Baekhyun raises an eyebrow without looking at him, a soft smile playing on his lips.

 

Chanyeol chuckles lightly, turning his head towards him. “Naa! I really don’t care. Well…” He clears his throat to make things more dramatic, “ _As long as it is you_.” He plasters a big smile, feeling giddy.

 

He snorts playfully in response, “Don’t you think you’re moving too fast, Yeol?” He beams.

 

“Don’t you think _we_ are moving too fast?” He says, grinning widely. “Remember, half of that… that kiss is yours to claim.” He teases the boy, nudging his side. “There is no time to waste, in my opinion.”

 

Baekhyun, then, chuckles warily and tips his head up and down. “No time to waste.” He whispers, sounding melancholic.

 

“So, when can I see you again?”

 

“Tomorrow. I will be the one to find you.” Baekhyun turns his head to meet his gaze.

 

Chanyeol is about to respond that he is a bit busy on the coming days but is given no chance to explain as Baekhyun turns around at the honk of the car.

 

“Yeol, I have to go. I will find you!” He jumps down on the street side and hurries over to where Mr. Zhang is. He glances back and gives Chanyeol a smile and a wave.

 

Chanyeol remains planted to where he is as he watches the car speeds away. It is true that there will be times when melody will find you. The one that will set your soul in fire, burning deeply even at just the first glance, at just the first touch.

 

_I will find you_ his words echo in his mind. Plastering a big smile once more, he says, “You just did.”

***

 

“So that’s it? He didn’t do anything? Not even pushing away?” Jongdae retorts as he munches his bacon.

 

Chanyeol impishly smiles, face burning red. “I don’t _exactly_ know how things happened. I mean, they just did.”

 

“I thought you’re not looking for a lover?” Kyungsoo furrows his brows, as he places another plate of eggs on the table a little too hard that it thuds violently. “I get it. You need a kisser?”

 

“What’s the matter with our Kyungie? It’s too early to get mad. Is this about my fan attack again?” Chanyeol asks, tone too dreamy as he relieves the happening last night.

 

Jongdae and Kyungsoo arrived at his apartment thirty minutes past five. Not wanting to be out of schedule and out of budget, Kyungsoo prepares the quickest breakfast he can; fried bacon, eggs, and toasted bread.

 

“Eat up fast. We can’t be late.” Kyungsoo deadpans. As soon as he finishes with his food, he walks out of the kitchen and slumps on Chanyeol’s most comfortable couch.

 

“I don’t know what’s better. Kyungsoo trying to skin me alive or Kyungsoo getting so mad at me.” Chanyeol comments, puckering his lips as he grimaces. “What’s with him?”

 

Jongdae is silent for a moment before he speaks, “That Baekhyun or whoever is your _first_ kiss. Of course, how do you want your _best friend_ to react?”

 

“I don’t know, but not this mad.”

 

Jongdae swallows a mouthful of bread before he eyes in Chanyeol. “Number 1: Baekhyun is a stranger. Number 2: you kissed that stranger. Number 3: that stranger is your first kiss. If Kyungsoo did that, lip locking with a total stranger at the seaside, what would you feel?”

 

The silence lingers in Chanyeol’s apartment until it is time to go to the hospital.

 

***

The clock strikes 8:37 AM when Kyungsoo halts the car in front of massive white buildings. Three tall towers loom over head, with glass bridges connecting the buildings.

 

Chanyeol glances outside the car window and gasps. “This looks like a hotel. Are you sure this is a hospital?”

 

Jongdae laughs at the back seat. “One of the finest hospital here in Korea. Though, it is only for cancer patients. But, maybe you’re right. _Hotel_ for cancer patients.”

 

When they enter the colossal revolving door, more gasps of surprise and astonishment escape their lips. The marbled, beige-colored floors match the white walls in a sophisticated way.  The brilliance of dark yellow-tinted bulbs adds to the astounding effects of the whole interior.

 

There is a tang of antiseptic in the air and some other chemicals they cannot name. People in white uniforms are gathered behind the big counter top, busying themselves with phone calls or logbooks of some sort. There are those who talk to other people, giving assistance. Nurses with a stethoscope hanging in their necks run to and fro, but calmness and smiles are all over their faces. There are those who seem to tour their patients in wheelchairs. Proofs of the building being a hospital – _not a hotel_.

 

Chairs and couches are everywhere, while some are sprawled on the sides. There is a water fountain at the center, welcoming all the visitors and patients. On the far side opposite to where they are, another window overlooks a long Olympic pool. There are people swimming, some are just sightseeing as they sit comfortably in their wheelchairs.

 

“Wow! I feel like I want to have cancer right now.” Chanyeol jests.

 

Kyungsoo nudges his arm with a disbelieving look, “Be careful what you wish for.”

 

“Now you’re talking to me?” He rolls his eyes playfully, snaking an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders.

 

“Shut up!”

 

“Come on, Kyungie. You can’t stay mad at me for a long time.”

 

“Who says I’m mad?”

 

“Your eyes, your face, your voice. They don’t lie to me. Come on, Kyungsoo-ya! I’m sorry.” Chanyeol pouts.

 

A nurse in her mid-twenties approach them with a soft smile, even before Kyungsoo can accept the apology. “You are Park Chanyeol, right? Do Kyungsoo and Kim Jongdae?” When they nod, the nurse continues to speak, “Good morning. I am Choi Miyen. This way, please. Follow me.” With a swift gesture of her hand, they go further the _hospital_ – they remind themselves.

 

When they turn around the corner, their eyes landed on the tarpaulin hanging, almost covering the wall. Their pictures together with the other famous YouTube stars and song cover artists are elegantly displayed. Their names are written just above their photos.

 

“Wow! I love this!” Chanyeol smirks, admiring the _exposure_.

 

“I understand that you will be here for a week?” Miyen asks, beaming at them.

 

Kyungsoo responds, “Yes. To perform. Will there be many patients here to join this music festival?”

 

This is part of the Z. Corporation’s project to promote the wellbeing of all patients with Cancer and to forward its endeavors to better their lives. The project has been running for four years and they are the singers and artists for this batch. **Music Heals IV** is written largely at the bottom of the tarpaulin.

 

“Yes, Mr. Do. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.” Miyen pouts as she leads the way.

 

“What do you mean you don’t know if it’s a good thing or not?” Chanyeol asks.

 

“Your audience are people with Cancer, Mr. Park. Surely, their large number is not a _good thing_. By the way, you’ll be meeting Dr. Zhang in a few moments.”

 

After minutes of walking, they find themselves in a large room. Same interior can be found but instead of yellow luminescence, it is a bright white light. There are couches at the center with a dirty white-colored carpet sprawling underneath.

 

Mahogany-colored shelves of trophies and plaques stand proudly on one side, occupying almost half of the wall. The other half are hung certificates and diplomas – proofs of how authentic and first class the hospital is. The other side of the room has a television set and some medical apparatus. In totality, the room gives an impression of a world class clinic owned by a renowned doctor – _which is actually true_. A paradox seems to be lingering in the ambiance, the room is humble and pure and clean but _proud_.

 

At the far end of the room, the man sitting in his office chair stands up to greet them and ushers them to sit comfortably on the couches. Momentarily stopping in burying himself with paper works. The long table has many papers piled up, but it still looks neat.

 

“Good morning,” He greets with a smile, his eyes are a little dreamy. “I didn’t expect you’d come this early. My name is Dr. Yixing Zhang.”

 

Chanyeol gapes at him, with eyes and mouth a perfect ‘O’. “Mi… Mister Zhang?”

 

They shake hands. Dr. Zhang chuckles as shock registers in his system. “Nice to meet you again, Mr. Park Chanyeol. Please, have a sit.”

 

Dr. Zhang settles himself on a single sofa, facing the three of them sitting comfortably on the longest couch with Jongdae at the middle. Chanyeol’s friends give him a suspicious look upon knowing that he and the doctor knew each other. But without having the time to ask their friend, they lay their travel bags on the floor and focus on the doctor.

 

“So, uhm, I would like to thank you, first, for accepting our invitation. Welcome to Hospital Z.” The doctor continues. “I am grateful that you are here to help our patients. More than medicine and therapies, it is of utmost importance for them to enjoy _life_ in general, albeit their days are numbered. Cancer should not stop them from doing the things they want and being the person they want to be. Don’t you agree?”

 

Kyungsoo responds as he flashes his heart-shaped smile, “Certainly, doctor.”

 

The doctor chuckles, seeing the enthusiasm in their eyes. He says, “I am happy to see that you are excited! Now, the schedule of activities will be handed to you once you are in your respective rooms. But it will be most likely like this, 4:00 PM will be the start of your performances on stage. 6:00 PM to 7:30 PM will be our dinner break. You have the opportunity to get to know them during these hours. Performance will resume at 8:00 PM and will end at… probably around 9:00. After that, some patients will have to go to bed as part of their medication, but some will stay late. You know, different body clocks.”

 

Excitement is burning down in their chests, swelling their hearts. Chanyeol feels fulfilled at just the very thought of mingling with such wonderful people. Performing and bringing joy to them. But he feels even more _fulfilled_ at the thought that some of the sessions will be broadcasted. Chanyeol squeals inwardly in delight. His fans will love him more. He knows that he will be looking forward to everyday of this week.

 

Dr. Zhang continues, “Well, if you still have the energy left, you might want to talk to these people.” He is about to stand up but decides against it when he remembers something, “By the way, just a precautionary… uhm… measure, a nurse is assigned to every patient to monitor their progress in a lot of aspect, like medicine, sleeping time and food, of course.

 

"There will be some patients who would ask you to go out with them, if the nurse permits them to, considering the stability of their condition, and if you want to, you can take them to places. But that should not be far from here. Maybe on the seaside and have a stroll, but you should not buy them food or a drink or anything like that. Please. The nurse won’t be around, then, but we trust you enough. Remember, as much as we want them to live a normal life, we have to be cautious of so many things. I know you get what I mean, don’t you?” He raises his eyebrows.

 

“Yes, Dr. Zhang. We will be very careful.” Jongdae plasters a reassuring smile. The other two beside him nod, a gesture of understanding.

 

“All right then. If you have questions, feel free to ask my nurses or come personally here in my office. When you go outside, Miyen will assist you to Room 1207. It will accommodate you for a week. I hope you enjoy your stay.” He smiles at them softly, before standing up to sit on his office chair.

 

“Uhmn, e-excuse me Dr. Zhang?” Kyungsoo raises a hand, as if to recite. “They really are… I mean, okay to go out?”

 

Dr. Zhang beams, “Yes. This is not a jail or some typical hospital we have. They are not confined in here. Well, let’s just say this is a condominium or a hotel of some sort. But with high medical assistance.”

 

“I told you this is a hotel.” Chanyeol exclaims, earning laughter from the other three.

 

“A hotel, it is. Hotel Z? If you prefer.” Dr. Zhang chortles lightly. “All right then, off you go. You still have plenty of time to rest or to be familiar with the place or start getting to know the patients. Whatever you would want to do, but just be mindful of their condition. Ask the nurses if you have to. They will be so happy to explain.”

 

They pick up their bags and head towards the door. When they are outside, the smell of alcohol overwhelms them once more and as if it triggers something, Chanyeol ushers his friends to follow the nurse, asks them urgently if they can carry his bags in their room.

 

“I forgot something.” He mutters, so quickly that his friends do not get the chance to protest. Hurriedly, he enters Dr. Zhang’s room once more.

 

“Dr. Zhang!” He calls, his voice a little too loud as he shuts the door.

 

The doctor does not seem to be startled as he glances up at him with a smile. “Yes, Mr. Park?”

 

“Just… about… Well, actually…” He stutters to respond so he just mentions the name, “Baekhyun.”

 

The doctor’s smile widens. “Yes. That. Well, he is kind of expecting you today. But not this early.”

 

Chanyeol gawks at him, mouth slightly open. “He… he is here?” No wonder he has been picking up Baekhyun at the seaside. The thought of the boy in his white uniform, with a stethoscope hanging on his neck makes him smile. He feels his heart thumping. “Do you… mind, if I, uhm, see him?”

 

“Sure. Come, follow me.” Dr. Zhang stand up once more and exits the room. Chanyeol tags along, a little surprised and _honoured_ that Dr. Zhang personally delivers him to Baekhyun.

 

They walk in silence as they head towards the ninth floor. Dr. Zhang does not bother in filling him up about the boy and Chanyeol is happy with that. He reckons he should do the _filling up_ about the boy himself. He is once more lost in his thoughts of meeting Baekhyun.

 

It really looks like a hotel, _but with high medical assistance_ – he reminds himself. But this one is much bigger: the walls are taller and the corridors are wider. There are three nurses’ station at every floor, settled on the end of the halls and at the middle. He eyes the nurses carefully, to spot the one he is looking for.

 

“Where is he stationed, exactly?” Chanyeol queries.

 

Dr. Zhang laughs a little, “We’ll be there. Few more steps.”

 

They roam on the ninth floor. Passing by doors with a small, transparent rectangular window, allowing access for outsiders to see, although, Chanyeol thinks it is for emergency purposes. Beside those are boards fastened on the wall where name plates are inserted. There are two names per room, the plates are slipped between the top and bottom edges, holding them securely. The name of the patient and the name of the nurse – Chanyeol assumes.

 

Even before they can reach the nurse station at the end of the corridor, someone exited a room and Dr. Zhang stops to greet him. “Good morning Nurse Minseok. How are things going?”

 

The nurse grins at him. “All is well. Vital signs are very good. Baekhyun seems to be recovering faster than we expected.” He pushes the apparatus away with him and heads towards the station on the far left.

 

Chanyeol’s heart drops and so does his jaw. And as if to confirm, his phone rings and vibrates in his pocket. Fishing it out, he reads:

 

From: _Myeon Kim_

_Good morning Yeol. Found it! Sorry I can’t call right now, but I will later to elaborate further. Byun Baekhyun, 24 years old. Diagnosed with Leukemia. Currently residing at Hospital Z._

 

From: _Myeon Kim_

_Wait. Are you not there, now? Acoustic session?_

And as if that is not enough, Dr. Zhang moves to the side of the door, waiting for Chanyeol to enter. Chanyeol eyes the name plate beside the door. _Byun Baekhyun_ above the name _Kim Minseok_. He feels the time stopping as the preceding words ring _painfully_ in his ears.

 

“Byun Baekhyun is diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. Cancer in the blood. Abnormal growth of white cells.”

 

Silence engulfs them for a long moment before Chanyeol finds his voice. “Is… is it serious? Like…” He stutters, trying to swallow the lump in his throat but fails.

 

“Leukemia is a serious disease.” The doctor sighs. “All cancers are. But, fortunately, Baekhyun’s a good fighter. He is healthy and well as you can see. But there are some minor drawbacks of course. He can’t do tedious work, for that matter. He easily gets tired. He has trouble sleeping at night. I can’t say it is insomnia, though, because he gets enough sleep during the day. He really is just a night owl of some sort.” Dr. Zhang chuckles, as if that will ease the turmoil in Chanyeol’s chest.

 

With no words rolling off his tongue, he shakily rest his hand on the knob and turn it as gently as he could – as if the door would break had he exerted his normal force. The serenity is in the air the moment he stepped his foot inside.

 

The floor is covered in a comfy brown carpet and the walls are painted with the same whiteness outside. Two long couches on the center greet them, perpendicularly arranged to face the Television set. The windows, on the other side opposite the bed, are draped with long white curtains reaching the floor, filtering the sunlight, and comfortably dimming the room.

 

Along that wall is a study table with papers, notebooks, and pens stacked up neatly. A book is lying open together with some paint brushes. Beside the desk is a shelf of books. Chanyeol did not know that Baekhyun is a reader. The bottom deck of the shelf are the canisters with varying colors.

 

He laughs mentally at himself. _How could I possibly know? We only met twice._

He struggles to turn his head on the other side of the room. Avoiding the sight of Baekhyun sleeping peacefully, he glues his eyes to the paintings on the foot of his bed: some are hanging on the corner, some seemingly look abandoned on the floor. A smile finds its way on his lips when he found the painting Baekhyun has been working on the first time they met.

 

He wanders his eyes a little more. Beside his bed is another table in which a baby electric piano rests. A charging laptop is nestling on the chair in front of it.

 

_“_ He _plays piano_.” Chanyeol whispers as he registers the information in his system.

 

On the other side, adjacent to the door is another bedside table where medicines are placed. Beside it is a medical apparatus which battles against the silence as its bleep echoes in the room. It has its cords attached to Baekhyun’s chest, the other end is connected to the machine, monitoring the progress of his heart. There is another on his hand connecting to an IV, a needle poking a vein.

 

There it is, as much as he wants to avoid it. _Baekhyun_.

 

He breathes deeply and closes his eyes for a minute. He approaches the bed with an achingly slow speed and as soon as he is standing beside it, he reaches for Baekhyun’s hand that is not attached to any cord and squeezes them lightly. Chanyeol feels numb for a moment, as he tries to draw the line between reality and dream.

 

_How much he wants this to be a dream_.

 

Soon enough, he crouches down to reach for his face, stroking his cheeks with his thumb. Touching ever so lightly to avoid disturbing him in his peaceful dreamland. It took him a moment to realize that his own face is wet.

 

Dr. Zhang taps his shoulder comfortingly and Chanyeol turns to look at him. “Baekhyun is okay. He will be.” The doctor gave a genuine smile.

 

“I’m sorry.” He sniffs in response. “It’s weird. You know, we… we just met twice. Well, thrice now. But… I just…” Chanyeol struggles to find words but the doctor patiently waits for him, “I don’t understand why I’m feeling this way. I don’t even know much about him… and… he about me… I just–”

 

“There, there.” Dr. Zhang continues to pat his shoulder, “Even at the first sight, magnets with opposing poles will always be attracted to each other.”

 

Chanyeol manages a chortle at the analogy, “So you think we’re magnets?”

 

“I think so. A lover of sunset and a lover of sunrise.” He grins, his eyes dazed.

 

He huffs at the doctor, gawking at him, “He told you? He told you, didn’t he?”

 

“We are best friends since we were in high school. He tells me everything.” The doctor explains, brushing his nape shyly. “But, I think, it is best to know more things about him from him. I’ve done enough, introducing you to him at his vulnerable state.”

 

Chanyeol’s eyes are focused on Baekhyun again. Thoughts are swimming in his head, thoughts he wants to voice out but no words come near his grasp. It is no wonder why his skin is pale white and his lips – those lips which he has kissed just the night before, is chapped. No wonder he feels so fragile. _So frail_.

 

“He will wake up usually at around 11. Before lunch time.” Chanyeol earns another pat on the shoulder. “I’ll be going now. Stay, if you want.” With that, the doctor exits the room.

 

The room is silent once more, with only the bleeping of the apparatus and his sniffs. He examines Baekhyun. Engraving the shape of his mouth, the softness of his lips, his pale skin, his tousled dark brown hair and his serene face in his mind. Baekhyun’s scent is fighting against all the whiff of medicine and alcohol in the air.

 

He _willingly_ tears his gaze off his face and wanders around the room. He settles first on the paintings. Sitting on the floor cross-legged, he browse through the canvasses. The same abstraction is displayed, with varying thickness and length of strokes and intensity of colors. Some of them give him an impression of strength and anger with burning red and orange splashes. Some are gloom with dull blue, green, and grey. He wonders what music is behind all these. There were empty bottles of color paints under his bed, together with some broken and used brushes.

 

Soon, his eyes feast on _that_ painting of tranquillity hanging on the wall. Chanyeol deems himself lucky that he was able to witness how that painting was done. Without standing, he reaches upward but his hands fail to grasp it fully and it lands on his lap with a thud, facing down.

 

His gaze shifts to the bottom part of canvass and reads the handwritten words, _Don’t Go_ and numerals _05.12.17_. He assumes that this must be the title of the song which inspired the tranquil abstraction and the date when it was done. Another smile plays on his lips. A new information has been added to his mental notebook. _Baekhyun has a beautiful handwriting_.

 

“Why is everything so beautiful about you?” Chanyeol whispers, eyes wide with admiration.

 

He continues browsing and _re-browsing_ the paintings, checking the backside for the title of the songs. He chortles lightly when he sees that the painting dominated by varying degrees of blue, grey, and green with streaks of angry red is inspired by the song Monster, as it is the song written on the back, dated _05.15.17_ – which is just yesterday. He wonders what version it is, EXO’s or his?

 

There are also _Need You Now, Everything Has Changed, Scared to Death,_ and _Fire_. Some of his works are already seven years old. He must be doing this since he was a kid. He runs his hand over the canvasses, feeling their textures.

 

A painful smile tears his lips as he asks, _why does it have to be Baekhyun_? However, Chanyeol is very much aware of the ambiguity of his question and he battles for a clearer one. _Why does it have to be Baekhyun who has to suffer Leukemia_ or _why does it have to be him that he has to meet on that day_? He does not know which of the questions is more cruel.

 

Soon, Chanyeol finds himself heading towards his study table on the opposite side of the room. He grabs the open book entitled _Tuesdays with Morrie_ , a book mark laying on page 78. He is not much of a reader but he knows that the book is a memoir from the author’s _dying_ professor.

 

He sniffs disdainfully. _How can life destroy such beautiful things_?

 

He soon browses on his notebooks. Invading as it may seem, but he _implicitly_ received the permission of his best friend, Dr. Zhang. _Best to know more things about him from him_ , he recalls as he justifies his actions. He stumbles over a notebook with a lot of scribbles – accounts of Baekhyun’s leaking thoughts. Even his rushed scrawls are so beautiful that he manages to decipher the words.

 

There are two poems which _almost literally_ scream for his attention. They are Blue Sky and Nocturnal. Baekhyun, indeed, is a lover of skies and sunset. He reads:

 

**_BLUE SKY_ **

_I admire the clouds_

_For never getting tired_

_The skies I like,_

_for its peace._

 

_That sometimes I ask_

_What if they have eyes to see?_

_A world below they witness_

_Would they go away and leave us be?_

 

_But maybe if they do have eyes_

_I’m happy they are still there_

_A great love I see_

_hank you for not leaving us be._

 

**_NOCTURNAL_ **

_I have always admired the sun hiding,_

_When the moon smiles and the stars are beaming._

_Comforts of the wind, whispering at night,_

_Calmness of the breeze and the city lights._

_It is the time of the day that I find peace,_

_When my worries die and anxieties cease._

_The stillness of the night, soothing my soul,_

_The tranquillity of the sky, making me whole._

_It’s a great joy that the world is asleep,_

_No judgments nor words that hurt so deep._

_From people who don’t know the storm I’m walking,_

_From people who don’t care how much I’m hurting._

_Night indeed is a great solace,_

_Just watching the stars while having a rest._

_Taking a break from all the pressure,_

_Giving your soul a wonderful leisure._

Chanyeol frowns as he reads the words of the second poem. _Who would dare hurt a beautiful thing named Baekhyun?_   He starts to wonder whether he had experienced it in real life or just an outburst of ideas but feeling that he has invaded enough, he unwillingly closes the notebook and places it back. He also closes the book with the bookmark on the right page and stacks it neatly together with the others. There will be more time to read when Baekhyun awakes.

 

He stands up carefully to avoid a screeching chair and walks toward Baekhyun. He holds his hand once more, then travel his own to his cheek. Soon, he crouches down and let his lips touch Baekhyun’s forehead.

 

“Baekhyun, please fight a good fight.”

***

 

It is almost lunch time and the trio find their way on the fifteenth floor where their lunch will be served.

 

“You’re awfully quiet again. I told you I’m not mad.” Kyungsoo nudges Chanyeol’s arms to bring him out of his trance.

 

Since he came back in their room, Chanyeol has not spoken a sentence. Little does Kyungsoo know that his best friend is occupied by the thoughts of his _first kiss_. _Baekhyun. Leukemia_.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Don’t tell me you’re being sentimental again!”

 

“I’m not. Don’t worry.” He answers, sounding _deflated_.

 

“Fine! I’m sorry Park Chanyeol. I overreacted a while ago. But what do you expect me to do?”

 

Jongdae intervenes, “What did I told you about apologizing, Kyung? _No buts_ , remember?”

 

“It’s fine. I’m sorry too.” Chanyeol tries to cheer up. Smiling at his friends, he explains, “I’m just thinking about some things. Don’t worry about me.”

 

“I know when you’re _just thinking_ and when something’s _bothering_ you. You can’t hide things from me.”

 

“I’ll explain over lunch. Come on!” Chanyeol responds plainly, unsuccessful in hiding the gloom in his voice.

 

The cafeteria looks like a fine dining in a five-star hotel. Red carpet is sprawled on the floor. Waiters are running to and fro to serve drinks and deliver plates. The delicious smell of the food is palpable even just at the entrance.

 

Round tables crowd the room, each having eight seats. In front is a dais where there are stools, mic, and speakers. A grand piano stands proudly on the side of the stage and on the opposite are three different kinds of guitar; bass, electric, and acoustic.

 

Chanyeol momentarily stops himself from his serious thoughts and admires the view. A sense of _belongingness_ embraces him as he eyes the stage.

 

They find Dr. Zhang on their way to a table and willingly invite him to sit with them. The doctor shyly accepts the offer. As soon as they are settled on their seats, the dishes are served. They feast over a bowl of mushroom soup, chicken slices, pork steaks, beef strips, and vegetables that are so delicious they doubt if they are really vegetables. There is also a salad, some wine, and juice of their choice.

 

“So, how is your stay so far? I hope you are enjoying it.” Dr. Zhang smiles as he slices through his beef.

 

Jongdae is the one to respond first, “Can you hire me here, doctor? I can be a regular performer here. Or even just a cafeteria staff. Please, I really love the place.”

 

Dr. Zhang laughs and the other three are infected. “You can always visit here. Even after the week of your actual stay. We would be so honoured to accommodate you. For sure, the patients will miss you.”

 

“Are you even ready to leave the world outside? What about your fans?” Kyungsoo teases.

 

“Good point, Kyungie. Forgive us, Mr. Zhang, but our Jongdae here is more obsessed with his fans than his fans are to him.” Their laughter chorus.

 

“They will seriously get jealous if you choose cancer patients over them.” Kyungsoo adds.

 

The doctor’s face slightly creases at the latter’s comment. He intervenes and makes sure he makes his point clear, “I don’t see anything wrong of doing a charity – choosing _cancer patients_ over them. Don’t you think your fans will love you more because of this, singing for a cause?” He pauses to wipe his mouth with a table napkin, “And by the way. I want to share with you the concept of first person. We call them patients diagnosed with cancer or patients with cancer. Not cancer patients. If anything, they are _first_ people before their disease.

 

“It is the same with person with disability. We call them that and not disabled person. They are person _first_ before anything else.”

 

The table is silent at first before the other three nods apologetically, reassuring the doctor that they understood. Dr. Zhang seems to be contented with it as he smiles at them and continues eating.

 

Kyungsoo clears his throat, voicing out his unspoken query a while ago, “So Dr. Zhang, how did you know Chanyeol? Have you met before?”

 

“Yes. That. This is our third meeting to be exact. The first two were at the seaside late in the afternoon. My best friend seems to be very acquainted with him.” Chanyeol blushes at the doctor’s response.

 

“Really? Who?” Jongdae furrow an eyebrow. Kyungsoo shoots him an irritated look for not picking up the _obvious_.

 

“Baekhyun.” Dr. Zhang and Chanyeol chorus. They lock gazes for a moment then chuckles lightly, finding this very amusing.

 

Jongdae clears his throat, “Wow! Your first ki…” A painful nudge from Kyungsoo halts him. “I mean, the painter. That’s him, right?”

 

“Yes. He is that. He goes by the name of Baekhyun.” The doctor proudly states.

 

“But there is another guy you met. You said he is a he is a writer? Or is he the same guy? The one you’re talking about this morning.” Jongdae asks, looking confused.

 

Chanyeol chuckles with Dr. Zhang before elaborating. “He is the same person. Well… he is… like a very well-rounded individual in my opinion. A painter, a writer, a reader, a singer, a poet.”

 

“You know too much. How much of him did he reveal?” Dr. Zhang queries, a playful smile still on his lips.

 

“I did my research, doctor. Just this morning.” He grins, leaving the other two baffled. The doctor shoots him a look of understanding and mirrors the same grin.

 

“I want to know more about him. Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo says as he takes a mouthful of mushroom soup.

 

And as if destiny hears him right, a voice greeting them echoes in the hall. The four of them shifts their eyes on the stage. Chanyeol is very much grateful that the other three is oblivious to the rapid thumping of his heart as his eyes landed on the boy in front.

 

“Good afternoon, everyone. How is everybody feeling today? Alright?” His smile is followed by a chuckle and Chanyeol cannot deny that it is one of the most wonderful cadence he has ever heard his entire life.

 

His tousled brown hair gives more radiance to his pale face. He is wearing a white polo with two unfastened buttons and is tucked in his black pants. _Beautiful_. His chapped lips glistens against the stage lights.

 

The trio’s backs are facing the performer and they struggle to crane their necks. So Chanyeol transfers seat next to Dr. Zhang to get a better view. He somehow regrets sitting a little further away from the stage, but is still grateful as he can look at Baekhyun fully without the other being aware of his blushing cheeks.

 

“That, Kyungsoo,” Dr. Zhang speaks, “is Byun _Baekhyun_.” He smiles and rests his gaze once more on the boy in front. Kyungsoo and Jongdae eyes him carefully, assessing. Jongdae has a smile playing on his lips but Kyungsoo looks a little hesitant.

 

“Allow me to sing you some songs as you enjoy your meal,” he says after a series of claps from the crowd. He clears his throat as he sits comfortably on the stool. Arranging the mic a little bit so it would be level with his lips, to effectively catch his voice.

 

Chanyeol gulps down, excited and all giddy, never blinking an eye. The doctor displays a proud countenance while the other two are expectant.

 

The song starts to play and Baekhyun closes his eyes. He snaps his fingers to match the plucked strings of the song then smiles, just before he rolls the lyrics off his tongue.

 

_Ara amureojido anheun cheokhae boado_

_Gidarindan geol aesso useo boneun_

_Nunkae modeun seulpeum_

_Naega eojjeol su eobdan geol_

_Neukkil su isseo_

 

Chanyeol does not have the energy to tear his gaze away from Baekhyun’s lips as he form the lyrics. How his mouth would go to a perfect O or how it would seal when he needs to hum. He hears Kyungsoo gasping as Jongdae clasps his hand on his mouth. Surely, they feel the same way. The same admiration at the beauty of his voice. He smiles, feeling proud of the boy singing soulfully in front.

 

Soon enough, big smiles are literally tearing the faces of Chanyeol’s friends and they struggle not to clap loudly to disturb Baekhyun’s peaceful stupor.

 

“What the?” Kyungsoo starts, looking at a Chanyeol for a split second then returning his gazes in front. “He’s good. He is so good. How… How did you meet?”

 

“It’s a long story.” Chanyeol cuts him off to continue listening.

 

_Ne namja anijiman_

_Jokeumman jikyeoboa jweo_

_neoui keu saram anijiman_

_nareul anajul sun eobseodo_

_neol jibe deryeogal_

_neolbun deungeul kajin keuron namjaya_

 

Jongdae adds more compliment. “I like him. I really like him. Is he an artist too? Haven’t heard of him. I bet he’s famous. He’s so good.”

 

_Baraedajulke, naege gidae_

Baekhyun puts on his sweetest smile as he sings the line and Chanyeol’s heart literally somersaults in his chest.

 

_Yes, take me home_ , _Baekhyun_.

 

Kyungsoo and Jongdae are literally jaw-dropping all throughout the song. Their eyes gleam with affection and admiration. The other two on their table are nothing but proud.

 

Chanyeol’s heart never fails to beat joyfully against his chest over the sight of Baekhyun singing. His clear tones, the vibrato of his voice, the emotional impact of the song as he delicately chooses the parts to give more emphasis to resonate through Chanyeol’s ears, registering themselves in his mind, and then engraving themselves on his heart. Baekhyun is an artist more than he is.

 

“I should really start to trust your taste, Park Chanyeol. You choose well.” Kyungsoo winks at his best friend. Soon, he is part of the cheering and clapping crowd.

 

Another song starts just after the series of claps and woos die. Baekhyun has the full attention of the crowd now. Originally, the people should take their lunch as they listen to him singing but the concept of multitasking seems to vanish because Baekhyun deserves all the attention.

 

He walks towards the grand piano on the side and arranges his mic. Another round of applauses echo in the room. Everyone is expectant, especially the trio on Dr. Zhang’s table.

 

“Does he work here? Please, doctor. Please let me work here.” Jongdae pleads playfully.

 

Dr. Zhang responds without tearing his gaze from his best friend, “He does.”

 

Chanyeol’s neck snap to the doctor’s direction. He is about to ask further details but he is halted by the melody of the piano. Series of notes are blissfully hit before Baekhyun’s voice once again flourishes in the room with much elegance.

 

_Annyeong naege dagawa_

_sujubeun hyangkireul angyeo judeon neo_

_huimihan kkeum sokeseo_

_nuni busidorok banjjakyeosseo_ ,

 

The bass guitar and the drums accompany him, then, which earns cheers from the audience who have completely forgotten their food – if not forgotten, then maybe abandoned.

 

Baekhyun smiles genuinely once more as he plays the chorus.

 

_Neoui misoe nae maeumi noganaeryeo_

_nuni majuchyeosseul ddaen, dugeungaryeo_

 

“Shoot! I love him already.” Jongdae comments and Chanyeol rolls his eyes.

 

Kyungsoo throws him a look, “Shut up, Dae and listen!”

 

_Oh, neoui gaseume nae misoreul giyeokhaejweo_

_Haruedo myeobeonssik saengakhaejweo_

_Oh neoege hago sipeun keumal_

_You’re beautiful_

 

_No, Baekhyun, you are beautiful_. Chanyeol says mentally.

 

He watches Baekhyun’s deft fingers maneuvering the piano keys. His hands seem to move on his own accord that even though his eyes are closed, Baekhyun never misses to press the right notes. Occasionally, there will be shouts of amazement here and there, couples of uncontained feelings manifested through claps that are halted midway.

 

After the song, Baekhyun pauses for a while, gathering his breath as the emotion of the song subsides with the last hit of a note. He stands up after, thanking the audience with a big smile Chanyeol adores then bows formally. Eyes follow him as he trails down the stage, claps still booming.

 

Baekhyun seems to be finding something or someone when Nurse Minseok approaches him. They share whispers then Baekhyun laughs wholeheartedly and for the nth time that day, Chanyeol’s heart pounds wildly.

 

Confusion billows over the trio when Dr. Zhang shoots his hand upward. They are about to protest that they are already full when the doctor smiles behind Jongdae and Kyungsoo, the kind of smile which speaks of intimacy. Sure enough, it is not a waiter whom the Doctor calls.

 

Baekhyun, with Minseok behind him, approaches their table. Baekhyun’s gazes land on Chanyeol’s. For a moment, he looks surprise but it is immediately replaced by a beam. His eyes glint.

 

Chanyeol is not able to return that smile as he is taken aback. Surprised that he momentarily forgot who Baekhyun is and what his battles are and now, the waves of information and reality splash at him violently. He does not know how to react. Soon enough, he is eaten by questions that he does not notice that Baekhyun shakes hand with him then with his friends.

 

“Hello, Yeol. It’s nice to see you again. I told you I’ll find you.” Baekhyun coos as he settles himself between Dr. Zhang and Nurse Minseok.

 

As usual, Chanyeol stutters in response. “Yea, I… you just did.” He does not meet Baekhyun’s eyes. He tries to quirk his lips up but something tastes bile. His friends eye him warily. It is not usual for them to hear Chanyeol stutter as he always see himself confident in all situation.

 

_But this is Baekhyun_ , he would respond had he heard his friends’ thoughts.

 

“Hi Baekhyun. My name is Kim Jongdae, not that I need to introduce myself. You know me right? You know us?

 

Baekhyun chuckles, a little nervous. “Honestly, if it weren’t for the tarpaulin on the lobby, I wouldn’t know. I’m sorry. I must have heard you somewhere, but I’m just really into songs. Like, literally into _songs_ only.”

 

Chanyeol eases a little, remembering their first meeting when he had insisted that he is famous. He realizes then what gave way for Baekhyun to know _his name_. It was the tarpaulin. His heart wrenches, this time, a little more painful.

 

Jongdae gawks at him and Kyungsoo bursts in laughter. “Jongdae, it’s alright.” He manages to comfort his friend in between his giggles. “It hurts, I know. But you can’t expect all people to know you. Sorry, Baekhyun. He is just really like this.”

 

Chanyeol wants to slap Kyungsoo for giving that advice just now. He needed that a few days ago when he met the boy. But seeing Jongdae being on the same trap, he can’t help himself but join Kyungsoo in his laughter. A shallow laughter – but a laughter nonetheless.

 

New plates of dishes replace the finished plates on their table. It is Baekhyun’s and Minseok’s turn to feast over the delicious food. Chanyeol remains silent and contents himself with a glass of juice and a plate of baked shrimps.

 

Another question is fired, coming from Jongdae, “So, Baekhyun. You work here?” Chanyeol tenses and remains his eyes planted on the table.

 

_No! He is a patient here!_ Chanyeol wants to shout.

 

“Uhm…” Chanyeol’s peripheral vision did not fail to note that Baekhyun eyes the doctor cautiously before answering. “Yes. I’m the editor-in-chief of the hospital’s magazine and newsletter. I write, articles. News and journals. Something like that. You know, usual. To promote the hospital.” He munches a slice of pork belly.

 

Chanyeol is expecting more. More answer. Essential things that should be coming from him, but that was all Baekhyun has said.

 

“You knew Chanyeol? How?” Kyungsoo shoots another one.

 

“Well… He kind of spilled my white paint the first time we met in the seaside. He kept talking to me, then. He also told me he is famous. But I really didn’t know him. Not until I saw the tarpaulin two days ago, that I managed to know his name.” Baekhyun answers casually, tugging his lips upward. Giggles echo once more in their table.

 

“It’s my favourite spot in the seaside.” Chanyeol explains. He sounds happy spilling some of his personal information – the kind of _deep things_. “I was a little annoyed, really. Finding someone on that spot.” He says, struggling to smile as to destroy any hint of incivility in his words. Not that he means to be uncivil.

 

“So instead of looking for another place, pride eats you all the way.” Kyungsoo supplies playfully, understanding his best friend more than anyone in the table.

 

“You can’t blame me, Yeol.” Baekhyun turns to him, beaming. “And besides, you said you are there every sunrise. You’re the one invading my space. The sun was setting, then!” He pouts. _Chanyeol melts_ but the pang is still there.

 

“Does it matter, now? We are still under the same sky.” It is the first time that Chanyeol answers and looks at him directly since the moment he approaches their table but his tone is still dismissive. His eyes does not rest on the boy for a longer time.

 

His friends throw him a teasing smile. Firstly, because of his nickname _Yeol_. Secondly, because how poetic Chanyeol has become. They are cooing more than laughing.

 

“Is this why you’re being sentimental, Chan?” Kyungsoo butts in, smiling widely.

 

“I guess you guys are _under the same sky now_. I told you, they seem very much acquainted.” Dr. Zhang comments, also throwing a meaningful look. Chanyeol prays his cheeks are colored anything but red.

 

“Anyways, back to the story. You were annoyed that Baekhyun was there so you spilled his ink?” Jongdae presses.

 

Chanyeol looks alarmed, his eyes widening. Afraid that Baekhyun might get the impression, he waves his hands in defense, “No! No! Really. It’s not like that. I mean, I got too close. So, like my guitar bumped the white bottle. It kind of knocked it off… but really… It was not intentional. I mean, would I honestly, like honestly… do that, on purpose? I don’t think I’m like….”

 

“Hey, Yeol. It’s okay. I really don’t mind. Besides, it’s just paint.” Baekhyun cuts him off, another smile widening in his face. Chanyeol looks flustered and exasperated but he locks his gazes with his, _this time_.

 

For a moment, it seems like the two are trap into their own world and the others on the table are non-existent. Kyungsoo, Jongdae, Dr. Zhang, and Minseok struggle to halt their chuckles to avoid burning Chanyeol’s cheeks even more. They either drink or take a mouthful of food to hide the quirking of their lips. They are clearly amused.

 

It is when Nurse Minseok speaks, that everyone seems to be splashed with cold water. “Baek, you should drink your medicine now. Here.” He fishes out five capsule of different sizes, shapes, and colors and hands them to Baekhyun.

 

Kyungsoo literally drops his spoon, littering food particles on his lap. Jongdae chokes on his wine. Baekhyun tenses at their reactions but his anxious eyes flicker once more towards Chanyeol who looks impassive.

 

“Nurse Minseok,” Jongdae whispers, sounding fearful. “You, Did I just hear you right?”

 

It is Dr. Zhang who responds, “Our Byun Baekhyun, here, is…” He sips his wine before speaking, “diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia.”

 

“I… I thought... you said… You said you work here? Don’t you? Work here?” Kyungsoo’s eyes grow even bigger.

 

“I’m a patient here. But I need to live still, right? So I write stuff for Dr. Zhang so I can pay my bills here. And…” Baekhyun swallows a lump as he eyes the others. Their eyes are full of concern and _that_ concern feels too much that Baekhyun avoids their stares.

 

Minutes of silence pass on their table as no one dares to speak. Dr. Zhang continues to munch his unfinished food. Nurse Minseok eats awkwardly while the other two gawks in disbelief. Chanyeol’s thoughts are rambled but he manages to look still.

 

_But the eyes cannot lie, can they?_

“Uhm... Yeol?” Baekhyun approaches softly, _as if to explain_. But Chanyeol has not confirmed his intentions as his phone rings and he stands up.

 

“I need to take this call. Excuse me.” He says and walks out of the room. Had he turned his head to glance at him, he would have seen the hurt on Baekhyun’s eyes.

 

“Have you received my text?” Joonmyeon queries on the other line.

 

“I have.”

 

“You’re there? Are you? Have you seen him?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You okay, Pal?”

 

“Yes. Sorry, it’s just… My head hurts right now. Can we talk later?”

 

“Sure. Call me.”

 

Chanyeol hits the red button and drops the call. He battles, for a moment, if going back to them will be a great idea but his mind tells him otherwise. His thoughts are once again savaging his heart. Questions pop here and there and as much as he itches for an answer, he fears that his heart cannot handle the response. He finds himself walking towards their room on the twelfth floor. His watch flashes 1:47. He sighs. It’s earlier than he thought.

 

When he flops down on his bed, he chuckles at the irrationality of his feelings. How could he be so affected at Baekhyun’s condition? Why is he so anxious to meet him, to hear him? But then flinching when the boy is around? How could he even feel some sort of affection towards him? Is this even affection or just _pity_? Chanyeol laments the last word but asks again, _How can you love or like someone you just met?_ They only met thrice and it is not as if he is going to invest himself in the boy. After all, he is a famous star and the boy is just a cancer patient _– a patient diagnosed with cancer_ , he corrects himself.

 

But to make things harder for him to comprehend, the other part of him reasons that there is something about the boy that beguiles him. He had wanted Baekhyun in some ways even before he came to know about his condition. Whether it is because of his words, or his paintings, or the things he can do, or just his smiles, he is not sure. Besides, it is more irrational to be like this just because he is diagnosed with a cancer.

 

He can assure himself that _pity_ is not the feeling but rather admiration. Does it not start _there_? Everything starts with admiration – the spark in which everything would grow into affection then _love_.

 

This is where Chanyeol concludes the first of his many mental debates. He likes Baekhyun but he fears his condition. He wants to know Baekhyun more but fears being captivated lest he fails to escape. He fears investing his feelings in someone whose days are _numbered_.

 

But whether to surrender to that fear or not – this will determine _his_ life.

 

“What are you doing to me, Baekhyun?”

***

 

The clock hands poses exactly twenty-seven minutes before four o’clock.

 

Kyungsoo and Jongdae had followed Chanyeol in their room after a few good minutes. But his friends were unable to bombard him with questions and stories about what happened earlier. Fortunately for the two, they were able to take a nap. Chanyeol’s thoughts kept him awake all afternoon.

 

“Why did Suho hyung called? Is there any problem?” Jongdae queries as they head in the fifteenth floor.

 

“Nothing.”

 

They entered the same hall where they had their lunch but it is rearranged for the occasion. Gold and red curtains filter the sunlight. The center stage basks in four yellow lights and it glistens as silver garlands outlines the edges.

 

_Cozy._ Chanyeol finds the word. _Cozy but grand._

 

Kyungsoo puts a hand on Chanyeol’s arm. “Are you okay?” And a nod is the only response he gets.

 

Even with Chanyeol’s painful silence, Kyungsoo does not bother to break his best friend out of it.

 

Jongdae would occasionally put a hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder, a warm gesture that, under normal circumstances, will warm him.  But right now, the ice in his heart is a little biting.

 

The backstage is a little chaotic, with make-up artists running to and fro while the hums of the singers and random mutters produce a sound resembling to a bad orchestra. It weighs down Chanyeol’s heart more. For one, he dislikes disorganized things. Two, the backstage mirrors his thoughts. _Messy_.

 

“Anyeong haseyo. Mr. Park, Mr. Kim, and Mr. Do. Here is the program for this afternoon.” One organizer approaches them as they settle on one corner to have their make up on. “You will be the seventh to present Mr. Park.”

 

“Ah, thank you.” Chanyeol accepts the paper.

 

“Mr. Kim will follow, then Mr. Do. Then as J-SKY. If you have any queries, please approach any of us.” She smiles warmly at them.

 

“We will. Thank you so much for your assistance.” Kyungsoo responds, a wide smile splitting his face.

 

Chanyeol reads through the paper and sees Baekhyun will be the third to perform. He wanders his eyes to look for him.

 

Western artists are also there. Boyce Avenue, Maddi Jane, and Meghan Nicole are some of the cover artists Chanyeol recognizes. He smiles at them when their eyes meet, but remains silent.

 

“Chan! Sungha Jung is here.” Jongdae whispers.

 

“Yeah. I saw him.”

 

“Soo, tell me. Who plays the guitar better? Sungha or Chanyeol?”

 

“I think it’s Sungha,” Kyungsoo answers with a serious face. “But since Chanyeol is our best friend, he should be our answer, right?”

 

Their laughter resounds and Chanyeol can’t help himself but to join.

 

“Shut up!” He threatens impishly. “I’ll show you who the real master is!”

 

Kyungsoo eases a little at Chanyeol’s response. “You’re talking now. You know you can’t let this day pass without telling us what happened.”

 

But even before Chanyeol can reply, Jongdae and Kyungsoo are asked to transfer seats to get them ready.

 

Chanyeol busies himself looking at the mirror and admires the man staring at him. He is about to mutter a series of compliment like he usually does when Baekhyun pops in his head.

 

Here he is again, itching to see him but flinching and cowering away when the boy is around.

 

It is not until he actually sees Baekhyun in the mirror approaching his place that he breaks out of his reverie. Craning his neck behind to see the boy, he greets, “Hey!”

 

Baekhyun is busy scanning something on his phone. Chanyeol expects him to look up because surely, he must have heard him, but no. Baekhyun whizzes his way past him.

 

Chanyeol shouts, “Baekhyun! Hey!” He stands up and catches up with the boy, holding his arm to get his attention.

 

“What?”

 

“Uhmn, well…” Chanyeol stutters once more, a little wide-eyed. He mentally wants to whack himself for not thinking before approaching him. “You’ll be the third to perform. Good luck.” He smiles.

 

“Thanks.” Baekhyun says coldly then withdraws his arm and continues walking away. Chanyeol is baffled at his acid mood.

 

Chanyeol retreats back to his place, feeling dejected. And now it is his turn to ask, _what happened to him?_

 

Soon enough, the trio transfers to the sala on the other room. They sit in a comfortable couch as they wait for their turn. Bothered, Chanyeol does not feel confident on his black polo tucked inside his brown pants. He can’t feel the adrenaline rush he usually feels at the start of every performance.

 

The clock ticks the time away.

 

The second performer has finished. After series of cheers and claps, Baekhyun stands up, smiling fondly on the _other_ artists.

 

“Yes, thank you. I can do this.” Baekhyun says as they shake hands. He, then, exits the room without giving a glance at the three of them.

 

_What was I expecting?_ Chanyeol squirms in his seat uncomfortably.

 

“You talked to _him_?” Kyungsoo asks.

 

Chanyeol is not sure what answer he is expecting, “What? No.”

 

From the backstage, they hear Baekhyun’s greeting. “Good afternoon, everyone! How is everybody feeling today? I don’t know why I’m lined up with the artists, because like you, I am also diagnosed with cancer. I’ve been battling Leukemia for three years. But here I am, _still holding on_.” They hear him chuckle.

 

Chanyeol feels the clenching of his heart. Baekhyun’s tone has no hint of indignation or bitterness. His voice brings Chanyeol back to when they first met. There, where he saw the painting. _Tranquil_. _Serene_.

 

“Everyone, this is No Boundaries.” Baekhyun says then the song plays, the strumming of the guitar booming in the room. He starts to sing.

 

_Seconds, hours, so many days,_

_You know what you want but how long can you wait?_

_Every moment lasts forever,_

_When you feel you lost your way_

Jongdae asks more, “Is he okay? He kind of walked out the minute you went outside. Is he mad?”

 

“Is he mad? Why? What happened?” Chanyeol gapes at them, looking alarmed.

 

I _s that why Baekhyun’s mood is foul? But why? What did I do?_

 

_And what if my chances were already gone?_

_Started believing that I could be wrong,_

_But you give me one good reason,_

_To fight and never walk away._

 

Baekhyun does not prolong the last two words so he can utter his invitation. _“_ Sing it with me.”

 

The crowd seems to drown Baekhyun’s voice as they sing, “ _Here I am, still holding on_.”

 

The drum beats as a smile finds Chanyeol’s lips which seems to be mirrored by his friends.

 

_With every step you climb another mountain,_

_Every breath it's harder to believe,_

_You make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes,_

_To get to that one thing_

“I really like him.” Jongdae comments, beaming.

 

For a moment, Chanyeol feels small and insecure, thinking he should thought better of the songs they are going to perform. He frustrates himself for choosing a love song when it doesn’t suit the event. He argues if he will have a last minute change of mind but gets frustrated even more.

 

_Just when you think the road is going nowhere,_

_Just when you almost gave up on your dreams,_

_They take you by the hand and show you that you can,_

_There are no boundaries! There are no boundaries!_

 

The drums are booming loudly, the song building into the climax. Baekhyun sounds magnificent as he effortlessly roll off the words, giving much impact as he emphasizes the meaning through his articulation and tone.

 

_You can go higher, you can go deeper,_

_There are no boundaries above and beneath you,_

_Break every rule 'cause there's nothing between you and your dreams_

 

The song has not ended yet but the applause are deafening. Baekhyun’s voice struggles to sound over the crowd as he sings the last line, _“There are no bound’ries”_. His singing voice subsides and the claps and cheers reverberates in the hall.

 

Baekhyun utters a few more words of encouragement. “Cancer or whatever that is; disease, failures, depression, shortcomings, rejections, brokenness… They are not enough reasons to doom ourselves into thinking that we are trapped. That we can’t do anything. They are _just_ a limitation _we_ set for ourselves.

 

“But our dreams, that _one thing_ that we always want is on the other side of fear. And they don’t have the power over us unless we give them the liberty to overcome us.” He pauses, the artists on the backstage seem to hold their breath and silence is embracing the audience, “We are stronger than that. Please remember. We are so much more than that.” His voice dies at the sound of applauses.

 

The audience seem not to mind the hurt they would feel after that intense clapping. But then again, Baekhyun and his words deserve that astounding noise.

 

Chanyeol’s heart is swelling and he feels tears welling on his eyelids. He digests the words Baekhyun has said but only once sentence has been inscribed in the walls of his heart, _Baekhyun is so much more than that_.

 

His friends are eyeing the floor, their heads down. They look uneasy, and whether it is because of their upcoming performance or Baekhyun, he is not sure.

 

Baekhyun soon finds his way back on their room. The artists stand up to gather his hand to theirs, shaking them heartily. There is another wave of claps and looks of adoration. Some even hug him tightly and Baekhyun seems to be enjoying.

 

Chanyeol is expecting him to approach, but remembering that he is mad at them for a reason he does not know, he dismisses the idea. He eyes him wearily as the boy sits next to Lydia Paek, opposite to the couch they are in.

 

_Time must be fooling them_. One moment it is just the performer after Baekhyun, then next, it is his turn to sing. He exits the room, stealing a glance from Baekhyun then momentarily stops at his track.

 

Baekhyun’s eyes are on him too, though his expression is still nonchalant. All vibrancy he showed to the other artists gone. Chanyeol feels a lot smaller than earlier.

 

He steps out, into the stage. Unlike the other artists, he just greets the crowd a good afternoon with his heart thrumming in his chest. He feels so out of place at the moment and his song choice does not make his feelings any better.

 

He breathes deeply as he goes over the grand piano, poises himself before pressing the keys.

 

_What would I do without your smart mouth?_

_Drawing me in, and you kicking me out,_

_You've got my head spinning, no kidding,_

_I can't pin you down_

 

If this event is a joke, then maybe his jest – _which is his song_ , is the corniest of them all. The crowd is silent. He wishes to see and gauge their reaction but the stage lights are blinding him. His heart is in his throat. He silently prays that this will not waver his voice.

 

He thinks of his fans being disappointed at him if they are seeing him right now. But no, more than his fans, Baekhyun is the one _hearing_ him _right now_. He doesn’t have the heart to disappoint _him_.

 

_‘Cause all of me, Loves all of you_

He continues to play the piano and sings, cringing the whole time he performs. He tries to focus on what is happening at the moment, the song, his voice, the audience. It somehow helps easing tension, hence, his voice.

 

In a matter of moments, his voice dies and only the melody of the piano is being heard but succumbing soon after the last note is hit. The crowd claps, some even cheers. But Chanyeol swears this is the most disappointing performance in his life and he hates himself for it.

 

He enters the backstage with a low spirit despite the cheers and claps of his co-performers, congratulating him with their wide smiles. Under normal circumstances, Chanyeol would stop fretting about how bad his performance was the moment he hears the shouts of admiration from his fans. But today seems different. He knows he would frustrate himself the whole day.

 

_Why_? He asks himself. _The audience loves it, the artists love it_.

 

At that moment, Chanyeol realizes that maybe, there are times that the approval of the public is not enough to please himself. But another question pops in his head and he laments that it did.

_Who am I kidding? Who am I trying to win the approval of, this time, if not my fans?_

He laments even more when he finds the answer. _Baekhyun_.

 

He remembers his look when he left the stage and he unwillingly admits that it is what spoiled his mood during the performance.

 

“Congrats, Chanyeol! I will be going now. Wish me luck!” Jongdae playfully fists his arm before leaving the room. Kyungsoo is silent beside him, as it is his turn after.

 

Kyungsoo cheers him up. “As always, you perform well! Congrats Chan! I’m proud of you.”

 

Chanyeol rests his eyes on the floor, feeling down and small and embarrassed. And as much as it itches him, he does not glance up to look for the eyes he wants to see right now. Afraid that he will see the look of disappointment.

 

After Kyungsoo’s _Tell Me What is Love_ , Chanyeol and Jongdae leave the room once more to perform Colton Dixon’s rendition of Time after Time. Chanyeol clutches his guitar as he sits on the stool on the side. The vocalists adjust their mic as Chanyeol plugs a cord to his guitar.

 

He strums once, twice. Feeling the tone and testing the strings. When he is sure they are tuned, he starts strumming. The drum beats once more and Chanyeol begs to be lost in this song. To somehow redeem himself from his earlier performance.

 

It is Kyungsoo’s voice who hits the first line.

_Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,_

_And think of you, Caught up in circles confusion,_

_Is nothing new_

 

Jongdae follows, pouring his emotions out.

 

_Then you say,_

_Go slow, I fall behind_

_The second hand unwinds_

 

There is a pause, as usual for the purpose of anticipation, before Chanyeol joins them in the chorus.

 

_If you're lost you can look - and you will find me,_

_Time after time,_

_If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting,_

_Time after time_

 

Chanyeol is unconscious to the jeering of the crowd and focus on putting his heart on the song. Unlike before where he drowns himself in the adoring looks his fans give him, he closes his eyes and tries to forget everything and everyone.

 

This time, it is just him and the music, and his hands on the strings.

 

_Sometimes you picture me,_

_I'm walking too far ahead,_

_You're calling to me,_

_I can't hear, What you've said_

 

Jongdae and Kyungsoo join in once more,

 

_Then you say, go slow, I fall behind_

_The second hand unwinds_

 

Kyungsoo hums then another pause follows. Chanyeol stops strumming, allowing just the drum beats to dominate the sounds, building the climax. The beating of their hearts mirror the heavy thuds.

 

_If you're lost you can look - and you will find me,_

_Time after time,_

_If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting,_

_Time after time_

 

The loud thuds resonate through the hall until Chanyeol strums once more. Their voices continue to ring in the room, amidst the deafening claps. The audience do not seem to be getting tired even when the melody dies and their performance ends.

 

They stand up, with big smiles on their faces before formally bowing. For the nth time that day, the applauses and cheers are ear-splitting.

***

 

The dinner follows few minutes after the last performer. The patients and the nurses are very much thrilled to see the Western Artists. They swoon over Boyce Avenue’s performance so much that the lights of the stage were overcome by flashes of their phone cameras.

 

Much to Chanyeol’s dislike, he even witnessed Byun Baekhyun asking them to have a photo with Alejandro. He rolls his eyes.

 

Of course, artists being an artist, Boyce Avenue gladly joins him for a photo. Chanyeol rolls his eyes yet again when Baekhyun plasters _that smile_ as his thumb presses the caption button.

 

“Thank you so much! I hope you can visit us again. We love your covers.” Baekhyun says as he shakes their hands.

 

Alejandro Manzano, the lead vocalist, smiles warmly at him. “We will be. You are a great artist too! You sing well. You are inspiration to all of us.”

 

“Thank you! I hope you are enjoying our company here.”

 

“We are. We are.” Daniel Manzano nods enthusiastically. “Thank you very much for your warm welcome Mr. Byun.”

 

“Shall we have our dinner? Come, follow me this way.” Baekhyun leads them to a table.

 

The trio also finds their way to a table to eat. It is Dr. Zhang who finds them, this time and asks them to sit with him. The trio willingly oblige. Awkwardness hangs in the air by the time they sit. Their eyes, except for the doctor who busies himself with his phone, wander around, looking lost.

 

But Kyungsoo, being someone who does not seem to run out of questions, shoots one at the doctor. “Dr. Zhang? Is… Is Baekhyun okay?” The question arouses the interest of the other two.

 

The doctor glances up, shifting to his side so he can pocket his phone. “That…” He smiles, “Nothing to worry about. Though, I might say he is kind of frustrated.”

 

“Why? What happened?” Chanyeol butts in, looking expectantly as he awaits for an answer.

 

The doctor answers, “He’s kind of frustrated with your reactions when you found out that he has Leukemia. He thinks you _pity_ him.”

 

Chanyeol’s jaw drops, feeling guilty. He does not pity Baekhyun, but he’s been thinking about what he feels towards the boy and that _word_ had crossed his mind. His gawks at the doctor with a disbelieving look. He sighs inwardly.

 

_Is it why Baekhyun was in such a foul mood?_

 

He scans his eyes then he sees the boy two tables away from them. Sitting comfortably with Boyce Avenue and the other patients with their nurses and his face almost red because of laughing.

 

Dr. Zhang sits tall, eyeing them carefully. “There are so many things that you must understand. These people are fragile. Please, let’s not break them even more.”

 

For the second time that day, the trio nods apologetically. Silence looms over them as they focus digesting their food.

 

Nurse Minseok approaches their table moments after, with his usual beam. “I asked Baekhyun to come over and eat with us. But he seems to be enjoying their company over there.” He says, as he sits.

 

Chanyeol’s eyes shift to where Baekhyun is once more. With a sigh, he utters, “Is there any way we can make it up to him?” He does not like the negative feeling churning his insides and he wishes to remove it immediately.

 

The doctor and the nurse share a look before breaking into a smile. “Well, our Baekhyun likes to be pampered.” Dr. Zhang responds.

 

Now, it is the trio’s turn to share gazes. With one final sigh, Chanyeol says, “Alright. We need your help.”

***

 

“What are we doing here? What’s the matter? Is he coming back?” They can hear Baekhyun’s questions, his tone innocent, lost and longing.

 

Dr. Zhang chuckles and dismissively waves the subject off. “No. I’m sorry to say he’s not coming back. But, well. There is a surprise for you here.”

 

Chanyeol itches to know more about their conversation but it is not the reason why they are there. With the help of the Dr. Zhang and Nurse Minseok, soon after the night session ended, they set up their things here in the rooftop, following their plan.

 

It is not in the nature of the three to make such efforts in apologizing because a simple _sorry_ can be enough whenever they got into fights. That is how strong their bond is.

 

But then again, _this is Baekhyun_ , Chanyeol mentally reasons and as much as he wants to exasperate himself over Baekhyun’s effect on him since _that_ day they met, he cannot dismiss the thought that he is very much willing to do such things for the boy.

 

The night breeze is cool and the wind whispers sweetly, brushing and caressing their skins. There are lamp posts on the corners, helping the stars hovering above to kill the darkness. They are hidden in one of the cottages, somewhere in the corner.

 

Few more steps and Baekhyun will be seeing them. Chanyeol prays he will not be as cold as he was that afternoon.

 

“If this is a prank, I swear.” Baekhyun laughs and his voice is nearer this time.

 

The trio tenses before poising themselves. Chanyeol readies his hand for the strumming, his left fingers already pressing the strings. Kyungsoo straightens up to crack his neck before crouching a little low. He balls his fist, ready to thud the beat box. Jongdae sits tall then clears his throat.

 

Baekhyun’s eyes are covered by Minseok’s hand. The doctor is holding his right arm to assist him to where they should be. They lead him to a chair in front of the performers.

 

“What is this really?” Baekhyun groans playfully, a chuckle never fails to escape his mouth. Chanyeol’s heart stutters. He rubs his chest to calm the pulse.

 

The moment Nurse Minseok remove his hands and Baekhyun’s eyes adjust, they begin. Jongdae sings first after some few strums.

_All I knew this morning when I woke,_

_Is I know something now, know something now,_

_I didn’t before._

 

Kyungsoo follows as he confidently plays the Cajon, crouching down. Even with a position like that, his voice does not waver.

 

_And all I’ve seen since eighteen hours ago_

_Is green eyes and freckles and your smile_

_In the back of my mind making me feel like_

 

Then it is Chanyeol who sings. After a rushed plan a while ago, they agreed to give him this part as this is what he really wants to say.

 

_I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now,_

_I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now,_

_I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now,_

_I just want to know you, know you, know you_

_'Cause all I know is we said hello,_

_And your eyes look like coming home,_

_All I know is a simple name,_

_Everything has changed,_

_All I know is you held the door,_

_You'll be mine and I'll be yours,_

_All I know since yesterday is everything has changed_

 

Had Chanyeol’s eyes been open, he would have seen how Baekhyun melts in his seat. How his cheeks turn to blood and how his mouth hangs open.

 

Baekhyun’s eyes are full of the same admiration Chanyeol feels since that day. Had Chanyeol been listening, he would have noticed the racing of Baekhyun’s heart and had he been looking he would have seen Baekhyun’s hand flying to chest. Baekhyun’s heart literally clenches.

 

But no, they continue to sing soulfully. So on fire to redeem themselves from what they did earlier.

 

Chanyeol’s deep and raspy voice sends shivers down Baekhyun’s spine.

_Come back and tell me why,_

_I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time,_

_And meet me there tonight,_

_And let me know that it's not all in my mind_

_I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now,_

_I just want to know you, know you, know you_

 

Jongdae occasionally echoes the line, producing a beautiful harmony as their voices mix. Kyungsoo joins in with them on the chorus and complementing the variation of their tones. Soon, the strumming and thumping halt to a stop as Chanyeol rolls the last line off his tongue.

 

_All I know since that faithful day is everything has changed._

Every after performance, Chanyeol would automatically flutter his eyes open to see his swooning fans. But this time is different. He fears that he might see Baekhyun cringing. He fears his disappointment and disapproval. So when he does, his gaze remains on the ground. He hears Nurse Minseok and Dr. Zhang clapping, but he knows they are not the judge of this performance.

 

“Our dear friends here wish to apologize about what happened earlier.” The doctor says.

 

“Baekhyun. I’m sorry… for what I did earlier. But please don’t get the wrong impression, we don’t–” Jongdae avoids the word. “But yes, we were shocked. We were not expecting that kind of twist. I hope you forgive us.”

 

“I’m sorry, Baekhyun. I hope we can be friends and sing together.” Kyungsoo smiles.

 

Chanyeol does not know what to say. The words seem to be trapped in his throat caused by the wild beating of his heart. He can feel his face burning. It feels hot all of a sudden. The others seem to be waiting for his speech but an awkward silence threatens the air.

 

Baekhyun giggles heartily. “It’s alright. Well, I was really sad about a while ago. But I’m not mad, well, just irritated. Really. But yeah, apology accepted.”

 

Kyungsoo and Jongdae immediately run to him, gathering him into their arms. Baekhyun’s laugh resounds and Chanyeol is lost again at his rectangular smile.

 

“I hope we are best friends now.” Jongdae jests.

 

Chanyeol looks at them as they make an agreement of friendship with their constant giggles. For a moment, he feels out of place.

 

It is Dr. Zhang who voices his burden. “Hey. Can we leave a moment for our dear friends to talk? Minseok, lead Mr. Kim and Mr. Do in my office. Let’s have a tea.”

 

They are silent for a moment before they complying. Jongdae and Kyungsoo pats Chanyeol’s arm and mouth a good luck.

 

Chanyeol does not seem to comprehend why this looks like a big deal. All he need to do is to apologize then ask him to be his friend like what Kyungsoo and Jongdae did a while ago.

 

But once more, Chanyeol’s thoughts practically scream at him. _This is Byun freaking Baekhyun_. And if his heart can speak, Chanyeol is very much sure of what it will say. _It’s not that simple_.

 

Usually, the heart and the mind are in constant battle but they seem to be friendlier with each other tonight, as he mind backs up his heart saying, _everything has changed_. He sighs.

 

Surprisingly, it is Baekhyun who speaks first, “Do you want to go inside? It’s kind of hot in here.”

 

“Do you want to go inside?” He repeats his question. Though he means to say that he wants where Baekhyun feels comfortable.

 

Baekhyun gawks at him, “Are you alright, Yeol?” But when silence responds, he continues, “I’m sorry too. About my attitude a while ago. I just really feel bad. I was trying to explain, like, to say things to you but you walked out. I… I don’t know what that means.”

 

Chanyeol’s eyes are on the ground once more but he senses Baekhyun walking in front of him. He plucks up his courage to meet his gaze. He asks, “Can we go to your room? Will that be okay?”

 

“Oh? Okay. Let’s go.” Baekhyun squeezes Chanyeol’s arm. An act of assurance that Baekhyun is sorry and Chanyeol is forgiven.

 

They walk silently, occasionally bumping shoulders as they tread the hall going to the elevator. Baekhyun is surprised when Chanyeol presses button 9. Their stomachs caterwaul as the elevator drops down.

 

“Do you know my room?” He asks, his voice a little uneasy.

 

“We visited you earlier. Dr. Zhang brought me there. You were sleeping.” He smiles as he meets his eyes but receives a deadly glare in return.

 

“What?” Baekhyun looks at him in disbelief, his jaw dropping. “I’m going to kill him.” He whispers.

 

Chanyeol chuckles lightly. It’s weird, he thinks. He was just sulking earlier because of the man in front of him, fretting about his condition. But now, he feels waves of relief splashing over him. Now that Baekhyun is near.

 

When they enter his room, Chanyeol once again feasts over the art that is in there: from the paintings, to the piano, to the books, and to his writings. He eyes the notebook he grabbed earlier, mentally reminding himself to ask him to read a few more of his leaked thoughts. He plops down on one of the couches.

 

“Why were you mad? I mean, _irritated_ when you thought I walked out?” Chanyeol queries, glancing at Baekhyun as he sits cross-legged on the edge of his bed.

 

Baekhyun’s words are biting but his voice is sad and expectant. “Why? What is it to you?” He pauses but continues after, cutting Chanyeol off, “You could’ve just left me alone. But, what you did tonight… Why?”

 

With the look the boy is giving, Chanyeol feels pressured to answer _correctly_. And by _correctly_ , Baekhyun means _honestly_. “Believe me, Baekhyun. I am asking the same thing.”

 

“Thank you, by the way.” He hears him whisper. “I’m touched. Really. No one serenaded me before.”

“You are most welcome.” Chanyeol beams, feeling proud and successful. “So, why are you mad? You haven’t answered my question. What is it to you if I walked out?” He throws the question back at him but his tone is full of curiosity mixed with pure concern.

 

 “You haven’t answered my question, either. What is it to you? If I’m okay or not, mad or not?” He attempts to give a glare but it was futile and Chanyeol finds it amusing.

 

“I answered that! I said, I am also asking the same thing.” He grazes his hand on the soft fabric of the couch, feeling and looking comfortable. “Answer me.”

 

Chanyeol hears a sigh before Baekhyun rolls off the words. “Some people awhile ago thinks I’m pathetic and someone to be pitied because I have Leukemia. Those boys think I have a wasted life. I saw it. Their eyes are screaming while we were having lunch.” His voice cracks as if the words are sharp knives stabbing his throat.

 

Chanyeol is silent for a moment and he lets his gaze drop. He finds the pillow interesting to look at rather than the other’s pained eyes. His heart once more races to the extent that every thump hurts.

 

“Can you blame them? _Us_? For feeling so frustrated that such a beautiful thing is being wasted away by life.”

 

Baekhyun springs his pointing finger up as if to count, sounding defensive. “One, I am not a thing. I hate being objectified.” He spits the words, “Two, I am not being wasted away by life. It’s not about what life do to you. It’s what you do with what life gives you. And three, you can go out of my room if you’re done insulting me.” It is not his tone that is a bit harsh, his words are. He lays down on his side, his back facing Chanyeol.

 

_Mayday! Mayday! Wrong choice of words! Mayday!_ A tiny voice in his Chanyeol’s head announces.

 

“Baekhyun, what I mean is…” He coos. He is about to approach him in his bed but decided immediately against it so he remains planted on the couch.

 

“Lock the door when you leave.” Baekhyun bickers.

 

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol tries again and when he did not respond, he continues, “You are not something… I mean _someone_ … You are not someone to be pitied. You are someone to be admired. And to be admired only. It breaks me… so much, that life has always looked for ways to make us fall.”

 

“Be thankful for those times you fall. Life is giving you opportunity to stand up.” He answers, still lying on his side. “Besides, life can’t be too lenient on us. Life knows it’s in our nature to take things for granted.”

 

Under normal circumstances, Chanyeol would have thought that they are having a literary contest and surely, Baekhyun is many points ahead. “I’m sorry Baekhyun if I have offended you. But I didn’t mean to.” He says, running out of figurative words to say.

 

This made Baekhyun to roll over and sit down again, cross-legged on the edge of his bed. His eyes glisten with some unshed tears but he faces Chanyeol with a softer glare – if there is such a thing. “Between the two of us, I think your life is more wasted than mine.”

 

Chanyeol looks offended and the words to defend himself gushes. But he holds his tongue. He knows better than to aggravate the situation. “What do you know?” He says softly, fighting the urge to shout. “I am happy with my life. With where I am right now. But you, you are…”

 

“I’m dying.” He supplies the word without much bitterness which surprises Chanyeol. “Life is a paradox, don’t you think?” He puffs an air mockingly and spits the words out. “Of course you don’t. Famous people never care or think about the small things. Always about what would other people think of _them_.”

 

“Baekhyun, stop.” Chanyeol mutters under his controlled breathing. He clearly does not like the direction of their conversation. He came here to apologize and spend a peaceful night with him. _Or maybe just spend a peaceful night_.

 

“No, listen. I’m dying!” Baekhyun’s voice cracks, a tear falls. “But that is when I found out how to live. You wouldn’t want to be in a situation where you need to be dying to experience life. You don’t have to experience everything to know something.

 

So let me tell this to you. True happiness is when you welcome Death with open arms. It means you have done all the things you need to do in this lifetime. It means you have lived a life worthy to be lived. And I am trying to live that life. I am not being wasted away as you think I am.” There are more tears lingering on his lids.

 

It is more painful to hear and realize that Baekhyun seems to be convincing himself more rather than convincing Chanyeol. So the latter sits beside him at the edge of the bed, feeling courageous. Gathering him in his arms, Chanyeol places his chin atop his head and strokes his back. “Baekhyun, stop crying now. I’m sorry.”

 

“You are making a mistake, Chanyeol. Doing this. My days are numbered. It’s too risky to care about me. Better leave me alone while you still can.” His voice still cracks but it is firm enough for Chanyeol to feel the threat.

 

“Don’t forget. With or without cancer, my days are numbered too.” He hushes Baekhyun. He shifts into a more comfortable position so Baekhyun can lean on his shoulder. “And let me take that risk. I can’t welcome Death with open arms while I regret that I cower away from someone I’m starting to like because he has Leukemia.”

 

Had Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun’s face as he rolls those words out, he would have seen Baekhyun’s pained smile.

 

They remain positioned like that for a while as Baekhyun takes his time to release all the tears there is, together with the frustrations and pain. Baekhyun produces a handkerchief on his back pocket and soon enough, Chanyeol hears him blowing his nose. He chuckles silently. Another information has been registered in Chanyeol’s mind.

 

_Baekhyun is very sensitive_. _Very delicate_.

 

“Sorry. For… lashing out things at you... _again_.” Baekhyun puts some distance between them and sits tall. He stretches his legs then crouches forward, elbows on his thighs.

 

“It’s alright. I understand.”

 

“Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m also frustrated with my life. With this thing it gave me, but I can’t afford to sulk my whole life.” He explains, looking wrecked and exasperated.

 

“Just when I thought you are the most positive person I’ve met my entire life.” Chanyeol pats Baekhyun’s back. He sits cross-legged, their knees touching. “But I understand. Life is cruel.”

 

“Being positive does not mean you deny the negative. It means that you handle negative positively. And life is cruel to those who take it for granted. Life is beautiful to those who appreciate its beauty. And people has the liberty to choose what lens to use.”

 

Chanyeol sighs once more but a smile finds his lips. “So poetic, as always.”

 

Baekhyun seems to ignore his response because he fires a question instead. “Do you know the Mirror of Erised?”

 

“What? Erised? Who’s that?”

 

 “You don’t know Harry Potter?” He gapes at him with a look of contempt. “Fine, I get that you are not a reader…” He mutters under his breath but continues, “Anyhow, Erised is Desire when you read it backwards. In the story, when you look at the mirror of Erised, you will see the greatest and deepest desire of your heart.”

 

Chanyeol looks baffled than ever, staring at his hands on his lap as he listens to him. He does understand what the mirror is, but surely, it is kind of hard to comprehend why Baekhyun blurts it out of the blue.

 

“So, what do you think you would see? If you look in that mirror?”

 

_Greatest and deepest desire of your heart_.

 

Chanyeol is caught off guard once more at the question. No one has asked him that before. He did not even bother himself asking that.

 

For a moment, he wants to laugh at Baekhyun. The boy could have just simply asked what he truly wants in life. But Baekhyun being Baekhyun, of course, there would be a more dramatic packaging of questions. The kind that would throw him off the sea and hold him there until he fishes out an effective, satisfying, and literary-packaged answer.

 

He drowns himself in the question. A surprise escapes his lips when he says, “I don’t know.” Chanyeol shudders at the truthfulness of his answer.

 

In the spur of the moment, Chanyeol feels he does not know who he is because he lacks understanding of what he wants in life.

 

Yes, he wants to sing. He wants to play instruments, perform, and compose songs for his fans. It should be easy for him to say these things but something is halting him. Something that says, at the end of the day, he would still long for another thing.

 

“How… how would I know?” Chanyeol asks softly. He can feel the burn of wanting to see himself in that mirror for an answer.

 

“Where your mind is, there is your heart also. Where does your mind take you?”

 

Chanyeol thinks and he voices them out. “I want to sing in front of the crowd. Perform and compose songs. I want to play guitar my whole life. Do things for my fans. For the people I love.”

 

“I thought you don’t know?” Baekhyun responds, his look is a little stiff.

 

“Well, as I thought of them. I just ask myself if these are really the things I want. And of course, the answer is yes. But… well… I feel like… you know that feeling? Something is tugging my heart, questioning me further about these things?” He sighs, looking frustrated at a simple question.

 

“Maybe it’s time for you to reassess.” He smiles. This time, it is him who pats Chanyeol in the back. “Examine where that tug is coming from.”

 

“What about you?” He throws the question back to him.

 

Baekhyun smiles. Chanyeol thinks he must have thought of this a hundred times before. “My desire is, when I look at the mirror of Erised, I would see nothing, but myself. That’s what I desire.”

 

Chanyeol ponders for a moment, measuring his words. _What could he mean by seeing only himself?_

 

But he is cut off when Baekhyun speaks once more, “Yeol. It’s already 11:10. Don’t you want to rest? It’s really okay if you want to stay here, but if you’re tired, then…”

 

“I’m not. And, uhm… Can I stay here? For a little while? Are you sleepy already?”

 

“No. I’m a nocturnal person, you see?” He smiles at him, meeting his eyes.

 

“Yes. I know that. What is it again?” Chanyeol looks up the ceiling, trying to recall some words, “ _It is the time of the day that you find peace_. _”_

 

Baekhyun’s eyes resemble letter _O_. “No way!” He puffs. “You know my blog? You sure are a stalker.” He chuckles, smacking Chanyeol’s shoulder playfully.

 

“You have a blog?” Chanyeol asks, a little surprised then feeling afraid. The last thing he wants to see right now is a fuming Baekhyun because he invaded his privacy. Scanning and reading without his permission. “Baekhyun,” he lets out a tensed breath. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Huh? Why?”

 

“Well, Dr. Zhang and I visited earlier. Then he said I should know more things about you from you. But you were sleeping so I…”

 

Baekhyun stands up and walks to his study table. Chanyeol tenses, his body going rigid as he prepares himself for another wave of argument. He does not immediately eases up. Even when Baekhyun turns around with a notebook in his hand. Not even still, when he sits beside him again with a beam.

 

“I’m guessing you read this. So it’s you then. I almost freaked out when I saw Tuesdays with Morrie back on the shelf. I knew I left it on my desk. I was thinking it was Minseok who placed it there, but I know he won’t do it. I was beginning to think I am haunted by ghosts” He chuckles as he flips the pages.

 

“You… you’re not mad.” Chanyeol holds his breath.

 

He hits him playfully on his shoulders. “You’re a stalker, do you know that? And I don’t know if I’m right to say this, but I think I’m your favourite patient here.”

 

“I guess you are. Can I read more?”

 

“Do you want to?”

 

“I want to know you better.”

 

Baekhyun hands him the notebook. Chanyeol’s heart swells. He thinks that it is not just a plain act of allowing him to read, but allowing him access to Baekhyun’s deepest thoughts. He flips to the first page and reads.

 

**STRENGTH**

_There are times_

_That I feel down_

_Wanting to let go_

_Of the ropes_

_I’ve been clinging to._

_There are times_

_That I feel heavy_

_Of the blocks and rocks_

_Piling up my shoulders._

_I keep asking myself_

_How long?_

_How long can I endure?_

_How long?_

_How long can I survive?_

_But I look above_

_And saw the sky._

_I smiled_

_Then I gained friends._

_I loved_

_And I have had a family._

_That’s the time_

_I told myself_

_Baekhyun,_

_You can do this!_

Chanyeol plasters a painful smile. The words feel heavy and he finds it difficult to not to show it in his face – _his eyes_. So he mutters a compliment, “Your handwriting is so beautiful.”

 

Baekhyun seems to give him time to read because a comforting silence is embracing them. He would just reply if Chanyeol will ask then will be tightlipped again when the other seems to be lost in the words. Baekhyun would beam when he sees Chanyeol smiles, would chuckle when the other laughs.

 

Chanyeol, on the other hand, seems to be oblivious to the way Baekhyun looks at him. But he can feel it – not his stares, though. But he feels _home_.

 

It is in this moment that Chanyeol realizes there are people whom you do not need to know for a long time to feel something _more_.

 

Then the doctor’s words ring, _even at the first sight,_ _magnets with opposing poles will always be attracted to each other._

 

Things appear to be happening so fast, but then again, maybe they happen _fast_ for a reason. Chanyeol shudders at the places his thoughts are taking him. He focuses again on the words. The clock ticks time away as Chanyeol drowns himself in Baekhyun’s written thoughts.

 

It is past two in the morning when Chanyeol hears Baekhyun stifling a yawn. He does not want to leave yet but Baekhyun looks sleepy and tired. It takes him all his willpower to stand up from his bed, urging him to sleep already. Grateful, however, that Baekhyun wraps his arms around his middle, his face on his stomach and stays there a little too long, before lying down. Baekhyun grabs his other pillow and hugs it, nuzzling his cheek on the fabric. Chanyeol fixes his blanket, making sure that he is carefully and comfortably tucked in.

 

“I’ll see you at _noon_.” Chanyeol says, remembering that Baekhyun is not a morning person. He holds the boy’s face, rubbing his cheek with his thumb. Baekhyun smiles and yawns once more as he places his hand on top of Chanyeol’s.

 

After a gentle squeeze, Chanyeol breaks the contact. He reaches for the lamp and turns it on so the room will not soak in so much darkness. He soon stops in front of the air conditioning unit, placing his palm in front to check if the temperature is good enough.

 

The door closes with a soft thud and Baekhyun finally permits _all_ his tears to fall.

***

 

Over the days of their stay in the hospital, Chanyeol and Baekhyun get more acquainted and so are their group of friends. Jongdae’s favorite time of the day is during eating time, when their stomachs will ache so much because of the good food and their laughter.

 

It turns out that Baekhyun is the funniest of them all and it does not help so much with more jests and banters from Chanyeol. Minseok is the bullied one because of his lame jokes that most of the time, their group will burst out laughing because of how corny his punch lines are.

 

“Ssssh!” Baekhyun would hush, eyeing his surrounding warily. “Tone down your voice. Others might hear your joke.”

 

“So what if they did?” Minseok would challenge.

 

“We will be forced to laugh.” Chanyeol makes Baekhyun’s point clearer.

 

“Of course, we’re friends. We won’t embarrass you in front of them.” Baekhyun would often heave an exasperated sigh. “Hard to be a good friend sometimes. Don’t you agree, Yeol?”

 

“Good point you have there, Baekhyun! Especially when you’re friends with two love birds who can’t seem to contain their affection.” Jongdae says, plastering the same serious face.

 

“High five, Dae!” Minseok raises his palm on the air.

 

Jongdae claps Minseok’s hand. “But Minseok, you’re still the corniest.”

 

The doctor, although silent most of the time, would laugh lightly in his seat. He would just admire the view of his _newly expanded_ group of friends. Sometimes it is too much but he cannot deny that Baekhyun and Chanyeol are the happy pills of the group. Baekhyun is a sunshine and there are more rays now that Chanyeol is here.

 

“As for the love birds. When will it be official?” Jongdae asks, eyes glinting with anticipation.

 

Statements somewhere along those lines will be the only thing that will silent the two. Awkwardness will loom on their seats as they burn their cheeks. More often than not, Baekhyun will be able to think of another punch line and divert their attention. But Chanyeol will wander more on the thoughts of _them_ being together and Baekhyun travelling his hand to hold his under the table is the only thing that will bring him back to reality.

 

Kyungsoo’s most loved moments are during their rehearsals, now that Baekhyun agreed to perform with them, even Nurse Minseok. Their voices produce a very wonderful harmony that Kyungsoo cannot help himself to swell in admiration.

 

He is not the type to smile always, but laughter and beams seem to find his heart-shaped lips easily these days with the company that he has.

 

“Alright, kids! Break time! Here, grab your drinks.” Though Dr. Zhang is very busy, he still manages to visit them on the rooftop in their practice hours. “How’s the practice?”

 

“Very good as always, Dr. Zhang.” Kyungsoo smiles.

 

“How’s our Baekhyun?”

 

“Did I just hear my name?” Baekhyun pops in one corner. Sweats bead on his forehead.

 

“How have you been? Don’t exhaust yourself too much.”

 

“Don’t worry about me. Minseok’s here. I’m getting my meds right.” He smiles at his best friend.

 

“He’s fine, doctor.” Jongdae butts in, getting his drink from the box. “Besides, Chanyeol is here. He won’t let anything happen to our Baekhyun. Right Channie?”

 

“Shut up!” Chanyeol banters as he takes a swig on his bottle. “I can’t wait for that day when you’ll find _the one_. I will burn your face!”

 

“So you’re saying, you found _the one_?” Kyungsoo teases further.

 

Laughing hard, Jongdae adds, “And that _one_ is named Byun Baekhyun?”

 

“Shut up!” Chanyeol pouts as Baekhyun laces his arm with his.

 

“Don’t mind them. Perks of having good friends.” Baekhyun winks.

 

Chanyeol rolls his eyes. “Hard to be a good friend but harder to have good friends.”

 

“Couldn’t agree more.” Baekhyun smiles widely, hiding his eyes.

 

Well, as for Chanyeol, his favorite time of the day is _most_ hours of _every day,_ because Baekhyun is near. From the moment Baekhyun wakes up, he will be with them to eat their lunch, then to practice, then to take a break from practice, then to perform on stage, then to eat dinner, then to spend some hours with the patients.

 

It is two hours before the afternoon jamming session. Chanyeol decides to wander around the lobby to spend time with some patients. Baekhyun excused himself after lunch because he needs his usual check-up session with Dr. Zhang and Nurse Minseok.

 

“Hello! Park Chanyeol? It’s you, right?” Assisted by her nurse, a little girl in a wheelchair approaches him.

 

“Hello there, beautiful. How are you?” Chanyeol sits down on his heel to level with the girl.

 

“I am fine. I’ve been meaning to approach you since the first day you came here. I just want to tell you I admire you a lot. Thank you for coming. I love your music.”

 

“Thank you so much!” Chanyeol smiles warmly. “What’s your name?”

 

A girl in her late teens blushes in response. “I’m Lee Hyumi. I also have a cancer. My parents told me I have osteopo-”

 

“It’s osteosarcoma, baby girl.” Her nurse answers for her, patting her head gently. He addresses Chanyeol directly, “It’s a cancer in the bone, very common in children and young adults.”

 

“Can you still walk, baby girl?” Chanyeol asks, standing up.

 

The girl looks more flustered now that Chanyeol uses her nurse’s endearment. “No. I cannot anymore. I stopped walking when I turned seventeen. It has been six months now. My knees are infected. If I walk… If I walk, I’ll fall.”

 

Chanyeol wishes to ask more questions about osteosarcoma but remains tightlipped. Surely, the girl approaches her not to talk about her cancer. Instead, he asks her nurse. “Can she walk? I mean, will it be okay if she walks?”

 

The nurse deliberates for a moment before smiling. “Yes, she can. But we have to be more careful. Her knee is fragile.”

 

The girl is hesitant for a moment, fright lingering in her eyes. “No! Please. It will hurt.”

 

“Hey, hey. Calm down now, baby girl.” Chanyeol crouches down once more, wearing a warm smile of reassurance. “Do you know Byun Baekhyun?”

 

The girl answers with a nod. “Yes. He’s one of my favorite person here in the hospital.” She pouts, eyes wandering on the ground.

 

“Do you remember what he says when we first came here? When he sang No Boundaries?” The girl nods again. “The limitations we put in ourselves. But we are better than this, right? It’s either you conquer life or you let life conquer you.”

 

“Mr. Park, I think we should not force her.” The nurse intervenes, placing a hand on her shoulder.

 

“What do you think, baby girl?” Chanyeol beams at Hyumi once more, his voice soothing away her anxiety.

 

A good few minutes pass before Hyumi comes to her decision. “I want to try. For the _last_ time.”

 

Chanyeol’s heart breaks at the sight as Hyumi shifts her position to stand. He can’t help but blame life for being too cruel to those people who only want to live. “Here, let me help you. Let’s go there at the pool.”

 

Chanyeol holds Hyumi’s hands as she struggles to stand. The nurse is holding her waist for support. “There you go, baby.” He says when she is already standing on her own two feet. “Careful now, try to step lightly. Can you do it?”

 

Still holding Chanyeol’s hand, Hyumi takes a step, wincing a little as she feels her weak knees. “I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.” She repeats her mantra.

 

“You’re doing good! Alright, how about another step?”

 

Under normal circumstances, they would look like they are learning a new dance, with Chanyeol at her back, arms outstretched and palms open. Hyumi in front of him, her back almost touching his chest. Her arms are also outstretched, hands grasping Chanyeol’s.

 

But no, this is far from a _normal circumstance_. _This is how cruel life is_ , Chanyeol thinks. With every step of Hyumi and her every wince is a proof of how unmerciful this world is.

 

Hyumi takes a deep breath. “I can do this.”

 

“Yes you can, baby girl. We’re getting there. Take your time. Yes, that’s it. One step at a time.” Chanyeol reassures Hyumi and the girl can’t help herself but to melt under his touch.

 

Soon, the long walk for Hyumi is over. Chanyeol settles her carefully on one of the loungers around the pool.

 

Now that they are under the afternoon sunlight, Chanyeol notices more details on the girl’s face. Like Baekhyun, she is pale. Her lips are chapped and her hair is thinner than normal girls her age would have. But amidst the _dying features_ , like Baekhyun’s, Hyumi’s eyes are bright and full of life. _Paradox_. Now, he wonders what impression his eyes make whenever Baekhyun sees him.

 

“You did it! I told you, you can!” Chanyeol sits beside her.

 

“Thank you Mr. Chanyeol. I missed walking. Though it hurts, but I think I’m feeling alive again.” Hyumi plasters her brightest smile.

 

“Please, call me Chanyeol. No need for formalities Hyumi.”

 

“Are you sure? Well, okay. Chanyeol. We’re friends now, aren’t we?”

 

“Of course we are Hyumi. So, how are you doing lately?”

 

Hyumi eyes the sky as she searches for answer. “I’ve been thinking about how lucky I am.”

 

Chanyeol scrunches his nose at the response. He wants to say _lucky for being with me right now_ but decided against it. Instead, he asks, “What do you mean?”

 

“How lucky I am to be even alive right now.” This time, she looks Chanyeol in the eyes with the same bright smile.

 

Chanyeol is silent for a moment so Hyumi returns her gaze in the sky. “To tell you honestly Hyumi, that is not the answer I’m expecting. I mean, I thought you will tell me how hard it is, you’ll tell me your thoughts about–”

 

Hyumi giggles beside her. “Life is hard, Chanyeol. I don’t think life is unfair, because it is unfair to everyone which somehow makes it _fair_. I want to live the life I’ve been given even just this short.”

 

Chanyeol’s eyes start to water and as much he tries to hold his tears back, they seem not to go according to his will. They fall freely, one tear at a time. “I’m sorry, Hyumi.” He sniffs. “I just don’t understand _things_ like you do. Maybe he’s right. I’m a shallow person.

 

“You know what? When I was your age, all I cared about is how to pass my quiz for tomorrow or how much I will whine after I lose in a computer game or cry because a mouse is trapped.”

 

Chanyeol feels more ashamed of himself when Hyumi rubs his back comfortingly because he should be the one doing that. “ _He_? He as in Byun Baekhyun?” She laughs sweetly. “Don’t worry so much about it. I mean, maybe you are here for a reason? Maybe to understand life more or just see the world with different eyes. Do you know what I’m saying?”

 

“How old are you again?” Chanyeol asks as he wipes his face with the back of his hand.

 

“Seventeen and a half.”               

 

“I’m already 24 but you understand life better than me. I should feel ashamed.”

 

“No, don’t. Please. We have our own time to grow, Chanyeol. There are times I ask myself if it’s a good thing I was able to understand life and that famous quote _life is short_.”

 

“It’s a very good thing, you know.”

 

“I mean, yes. It’s a good thing but even good things come with a price. There are times I’m so anxious about tomorrow that I become so impulsive. When I think of something to do, I want to do it right now. Sometimes in haste, I would hurt other people. I would always justify my actions with _there is no time to waste_ excuse. Sometimes I forget, I need to breathe and enjoy.”

 

“Somebody once told me, we become bold when we know we are running out of time.” Chanyeol stares at the heaven, looking lost.

 

“I’m betting it’s Baekhyun.”

 

“How do you know that? Is he telling you _things_ also?” Chanyeol combs his hair, trying to look annoyed.

 

Hyumi bursts out laughing. “No, he didn’t.” She struggles to reply in between her laugh. “I mean, we’re pretty close and he told me the same thing. Seeing that you are so close now, I’m guessing he also told you about his sentiments. Right when you said he told you you’re shallow, I know already he’s sharing his life lessons with you too!”

 

“Is Baekhyun really like that?”

 

Hyumi is silent for a moment before she speaks again, “I think that’s the one of the things that bond us. We both believe in _purpose_. Like, we live not just to live for ourselves but for others too. Through us, life shows that it is not as cruel as most people believe. We give each other hope.”

 

Chanyeol does not fail in taking her words into his heart. “It’s kind of contradicting. I should be the one giving you hope. Lecturing you about life because aside from your condition, I’m much older than you.”

 

“Now you see the paradox? I’m betting he told you about that.” Hyumi smiles at him. The exact word rings in his ears. It is the very same word Baekhyun told him nights ago. “I guess life is not a fan of clichés like elders lecturing kids and normal people guiding people like me and Baekhyun. Life knows how to package things creatively. Things that would throw you off guard.”

 

“What do you think? My purpose of coming here?”

 

“You have to find that out for yourself. Maybe you’re looking for something that’s why life brings you here with us.”

 

Hyumi stands up. Gauging her strength, she tries to take a step then another, her arm outstretched for balance. With an achingly slow speed, she nears the edge of the pool then tries to crouch down. Her hand reaching for the water.

 

“Hey careful Hyumi!”

 

“I’m fine.” She smiles again, craning her neck to look at Chanyeol as she splashes water with her fingers. “Will it be okay if I dip my feet here?”

 

Her nurse who tries to be nonexistent to give Hyumi and Chanyeol space to talk, walks to her. “Are you sure you can?”

 

“I can and I want to.” Hyumi’s tone is more _determined_ , all hesitation gone.

 

Chanyeol is first to offer help. Hyumi’s nurse walks back to a couch a little farther from them. “Here, I’ll roll your pajamas up.”

 

He bends over to reach for the hem and folds up until her mid-thigh. He does the same thing for the other leg. Then he carefully assists Hyumi in drooping her legs in the water. When Hyumi is settled, Chanyeol rolled up his own pants then sits beside her, their legs swinging comfortably.

 

“So, by any chance, are you looking for something?” Hyumi brings their topic back.

 

“I am. Well, I’m actually looking for a mel–”

 

“Hey there lovely people! What are you doing here? I guess my Mimi met my Yeollie. You seem to be enjoying yourselves that you didn’t bother inviting us.” Baekhyun walks to them, looking casual with an oversized shirt and a comfortably looking jogging pants.

 

Chanyeol smirks as a thought passes by, recalling the events that led him here. “I am looking for a melody.” He smiles when Baekhyun also dangles his legs.

 

_I am looking for a melody, an inspiration to write my nineteenth song that day at the bay. You came_.

 

“What? Who’s Melody?” Baekhyun asks, unaware of their context. Hyumi laughs again, a little bit flushed that she is being sandwiched by both Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

 

“It’s nothing. I was just asking him some random questions. You know, the usual?” Hyumi grins.

 

_Then Hyumi asks me what I was looking for. You came._

 

“Now you’re keeping secrets? I can’t believe this!” Baekhyun lets out an exasperated sigh. “I feel so left out, you know that?”

 

But Hyumi ignores his rants, instead, she turns to Chanyeol. “From the looks of it, I think you found your melody.”

 

“Melody? As in a song? Am I even talking to someone here?” Baekhyun whines again, pouting cutely.

 

But Chanyeol also ignores him. With a wide grin on his lips and understanding in his eyes, he responds, “Maybe you’re right. Life is not a fan of clichés.”

 

Hyumi and Chanyeol lock gazes for a while. “You’ll be surprised at how creative life is, I tell you.”

***

 

It has been a habit of Baekhyun to invite Chanyeol after the night jamming session to spend more time together. It seems that the whole day is not enough. They will either stroll on the seaside or just stay in Baekhyun’s room; to sing more, to play instruments, to watch Baekhyun paint, or to read more poems he has written. For Chanyeol, every moment feels perfect.

 

This day is their fourth day of stay. However, unlike the previous nights when Chanyeol will be left alone with Baekhyun, the latter asks them all to spend the night in Dr. Zhang’s office.

 

“C’mon! It’ll be fun. Don’t worry, midnight snacks will be served.” Baekhyun invites, excitement is so much evident in his voice.

 

The trio happily accepts the invitation. Right after the night session ended, they all walk their way to the doctor’s office.

 

Dr. Zhang seems to be expecting them because he opens the door just after the first knock. The room is unusually dark. Beaming, he leads them to the couches, a little rearranged because they are all facing the television set. The trio is a bit surprised, they never imagine seeing the doctor in a white shirt and black and white striped pajamas.

 

“Wait, is this a movie date?” Jongdae mutters gleefully, plopping down on the rug. The television screen flashes a painful blue color. A DVD is also turned on, waiting for a disc to be inserted.

 

“Kind of. But it’s a series really. I think you guys know this.” Baekhyun sits on the couch, and Chanyeol sits beside him. Kyungsoo, with Minseok, is also on the floor, feeling more comfortable there.

 

“Goblin?” Kyungsoo is wide-eyed, looking incredulous. “Are we serious on this?” He laughs hard and he tries to bury his face in his palms.

 

“Yes, my dear Kyungsoo.” The doctor answers, “Our Baekhyun here loves watching Goblin. And to tell you honestly, he’s already on the 11th episode, but is very much willing to watch from the start again. _With you_.”

 

Baekhyun coos. “C’mon! You’ll love it. I swear!” Chanyeol only manages to chuckle, shaking his head.

 

Baekhyun is good in talking someone into something. But even though he is not, Chanyeol, still would love to spend watching a series with _him_.

 

Goblin is a famous fantasy, romantic-comedy Korean drama series. He has read some positive reviews and responses from the fans and critics on the internet. But he does not have much time to binge watch any series because of his schedule. The first episode rolls when Chanyeol feels Baekhyun lacing his fingers with his.

 

He looks down at the boy beside him then smirks. He responds by tightening his hold on Baekhyun’s hand then whispers very softly, “I really like you.”

 

“I know.” Baekhyun grins. “Now, let’s watch.”

 

Popcorns, pastries, and biscuits are being passed around, so are soda, milk, and fruit juice. Minseok, Jongdae, and Kyungsoo are already lost in the story while stuffing some snacks in their mouths. Dr. Zhang is busy on his laptop, working with something on his office desk but occasionally glancing up to watch.

 

Chanyeol, also, is lost both in the drama and in the frequent smiles of Baekhyun, his giggles and squeals, and their clasped hands.

 

Then Baekhyun’s voice, resounds. He choruses with the background music of a romantic scene. “I want that to be my wedding song. Given the chance.” He says, a little too loud for everyone to hear.

 

“I thought you said _Don’t Go_.” Minseok responds without looking at him, enjoying the scene of the second episode.

 

“Well, I want many. But I want _that_ song to be played as I walk in the aisle. Don’t Go can be when we are having the reception.” All them laugh at Baekhyun’s imagined scene of his wedding and Chanyeol cannot help himself but ask who his groom would be.

 

“Find a groom first!” Minseok bickers.

 

It is followed by the doctor, “I think he already found _someone_.”

 

With that, the three have their eyes on their intertwined fingers. Chanyeol feels his cheeks burning yet again but make no attempts to let his hand go. Baekhyun does the same, comfortably holding his hand.

 

They all burst into giggles and coos. Teasing Chanyeol relentlessly with their constant _ayieeeeeees!_

 

The drama seemingly forgotten, Jongdae starts to throw some popcorn bits on Chanyeol’s direction then Minseok and Kyungsoo join in. Their laughter once more echoes in the room.

 

“Stop it!”

 

Chanyeol is forced to let go of Baekhyun’s hand so he can wrap it on his shoulder, his hand burying Baekhyun’s head on his neck. His other hand is stretched, palm open as a sign of _stop_. “If Baekhyun gets hurt… I’m going to kill you.” He threatens impishly.

 

Baekhyun obliges to Chanyeol’s desired position, so he ducks his head low, hiding his face on his neck. His arms snaking on the other’s waist. Laughing his heart out.

 

“You look like you are enjoying this!” Jongdae shouts and throws another wave of bits. “Get a room!”

 

In a distance, Chanyeol hears Dr. Zhang joining their laughter.

 

They stay like that for a moment longer. Until the all the popcorn bits are scattered either on the floor, on Chanyeol’s and Baekhyun’s laps. Until those on the floor are laying down on their backs, holding their stomachs. Until Dr. Zhang is also on the floor with them, joining the teases and banters. Until Baekhyun’s and Chanyeol’s cheeks are nothing but red.

 

Had Chanyeol read Baekhyun’s thoughts, he would have known how much the boy treasures this kind of scenery before him. The laughter of his friends, the light atmosphere, and Chanyeol’s arm around him. He would have felt the pain – _literally_ and _figuratively_ in his chest. He would have understand that simple things like these _matter_. _So much_. _To someone whose days are numbered_.

 

_But_ once again, the clock ticks the time away.

 

Chanyeol is still letting his laughter out when he walks Baekhyun to his room. His watch screams 2:23 AM. Baekhyun’s fingers are still intertwined with his. When they enter the room, he settles once more on the couch as the boy sits on his bed.

 

“Baekhyun?” He asks.

 

“Hmn?”

 

“Remember I told you, the first time we met... if you can do song covers with me?”

 

Baekhyun smiles, knowing the direction of their conversation. “Yup. Why? Do you want to do it? Now?”

 

“Now?” Chanyeol looks surprised. “Oh! Well… Uhm… How about tomorrow? I mean, the usual set up. There will be cameras, shooting. Like that. Will that be okay to you? It’s okay if you don’t… I mean, it’s just–”

 

“Hey, Yeol. Calm down.” He chuckles. “I want to do it. I want to do it with you. What time tomorrow, then?”

 

Chanyeol blinks a few more seconds before responding, completely shocked that the boy agrees. “Morning. I’m sorry. This is too much to ask, I know. But please don’t get me wrong. I’m not doing this because of fame. It’s just, I want to sing with you. That’s all. And… I want to tell the world how much of a good voice you have and… and… inspire more people to dream big things despite the limitations they have.” He smiles, feeling a little confident.

 

Baekhyun does not respond. Instead, he walks to the couch then sits beside him, close enough for Chanyeol’s liking. He throws his arms around him awkwardly, gathering Chanyeol in his arms. “Thank you for believing in me.”

 

Chanyeol returns the gesture before the boy breaks the contact. “Of course. Hey?”

 

Baekhyun sits up straight with his legs crossed. Their knees brushing. “Don’t you think you’re moving fast, Yeol?”

 

He frowns, not having the capacity to comprehend the boy’s stream of consciousness. “Baekhyun, I don’t understand you. Can we talk one thing at a time?”

 

A tired sigh escaped Baekhyun’s lips for a fraction of a second before plastering a sad smile. “Well, there is this friend of mine.”

 

_Here he goes again with a new topic,_ Chanyeol thinks, but allows him to continue nonetheless.

 

“We _dreamed_ about so many things we want to do. The whole story is so long, actually, but to cut it short, he ditched me when he found out I have cancer. I tried contacting him, though, but he keeps avoiding me. So I stopped. It was painful of course, but eventually I realized maybe it’s for the best. If I die, it’ll be less painful for him.”

 

Chanyeol’s heart contracts at his words. He closes his eyes and silently eases his breathing. But even before he can speak, Baekhyun continues, “I don’t know if it’s a good thing that he did not take that risk. To be with me. But at the end of the day, I know I won’t fault myself too much for that pain I’ll cause him when my time has come.”

 

“Baekhyun, you speak like time is so short.”

 

“Well, it is.”

 

“No. It’s not. It just _feels_ short because you anticipate the far future and I know, it makes you anxious. It makes us anxious. Why don’t we just live each day? There is more to life. All of us… are… going to die. It’s only a matter of _time_. Hey, Baekhyun–”

 

Chanyeol’s hands fly to Baekhyun’s, holding them with urgency. He is crying _again_. “I’m trying. But I’m not strong enough to hold those walls up _every_ _single_ _day_.” He emphasizes heavily the last three words as he sniffs. “I try not to anticipate, but when I’m alone at night, I can’t help but to question if I will ever wake up the next morning?” More tears are falling.

 

“Baekhyun. I…”

 

“This is why I ask you, if we are moving too fast? Apart from Yixing, you are the only one whom I can talk these things with. I wonder why. My guts tell me I can trust you.”

 

“You can trust me, Baekhyun. And, if you will allow, let me be with you tonight. So you won’t feel alone and ask those–”

 

“Chanyeol…”

 

“Baekhyun.” He says gently, “I insist.”

 

Baekhyun wipes his tears with his palm then walks over to his bed to grab the pillows before turning the lamp on. Soon after, he lays down on the couch again, his head on the Chanyeol’s lap.

 

This makes Chanyeol’s heart melt, painfully and lovingly at the same time. The room drowns in the weak touches of darkness. Chanyeol works his hand through Baekhyun’s hair, combing and massaging. Baekhyun closes his eyes and relaxes under his touch.

 

“Thank you for believing in me. That I am more than what I’m suffering right now.” The boy explains.

 

“Actually, you were the one who taught me to believe in that. Because, you are. So _much more_.” Chanyeol smiles down at him, his eyes flooding with gratitude.

 

“You were my first kiss.” Chanyeol stops combing Baekhyun’s hair with his fingers when the boy blurts the words out. “I promise myself that I will have my first kiss on my wedding day. So I hated myself soon after because I like _that kiss_. So much.”

 

Chanyeol seems to be speechless, so he just asks, “Why? Why then? I mean, why did you kiss me back? You could’ve pushed me away or push me into the water.” He notices the hair strands that tangle on his fingers. There are a little too many.

 

Baekhyun laughs, his lips widening. “Once you’ve accepted death is coming, you suddenly become bold. Doing things because you might not be given the same chance the other day. So after all, this seems to be a good thing right? Numbered days? At least you have the courage to do things you’ve always wanted. It stops you from taking things for granted. Valuing simple and little things.”

 

“There’s truth in that. Though,” Chanyeol gestures a quotation mark in the air with his fingers as he quotes Baekhyun’s very words, “You don’t have to experience all to understand things, Byun, 2017. And I thank you, Baekhyun. I think you could pass as my life coach.”

 

Baekhyun whistles gleefully, “Another paradox here! You notice? Your _life_ coach is _dying_.”

 

“Can you stop saying you’re dying?” He lets out an exasperated sigh.

 

“Why? It’s the truth!”

 

“I know! But you don’t have to say that every time to prove your point.” He sounds a little irritated.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Chanyeol continues to comb his hair, lightly massaging his temples. “I’m sorry. I mean, it makes me feel anxious too.”

 

“Mm’kay. I’m sorry. Really.”

 

Few seconds of silence passed before Baekhyun speaks again, his tone a little fretful “Would you… take the risk with me?”

 

Chanyeol is too busy to package his answer in a satisfying way which Baekhyun mistakes for uncertainty. “Hey. I understand… if you don’t.” He chuckles nervously. “I was just… taking the chance that maybe you would say…”

 

“Yes.” Chanyeol says, with no figurative words to roll off his tongue. “I will take the risk with you.”

 

The boy gapes at him, mouth open, eyes wide. Chanyeol melts at the sight. He does not know where he is taking himself into but he knows he is so much willing to live this life _with Baekhyun_ to find out. “Do my ears serve me right?”

 

Chanyeol plasters a tired look, “Is it really that hard to simply say, did I hear you right? I’m struggling to understand you sometimes!”

 

Their laughter follows but Baekhyun’s is more of squealing because of too much happiness. “I’m sorry. Blame literature, though. Too much reading.”

 

Chanyeol does not answer this time, but holds Baekhyun’s. Against the weak darkness, he can see his pale skin, his lively eyes, and his mouth. His beautiful mouth and chapped lips. Chanyeol scoops Baekhyun up, so the boy now sits on his lap.

 

“Can I be bold right now?” Chanyeol asks but gives no chance for Baekhyun to answer as he leans in to kiss his lips.

 

His kisses are pressing and careful, passionate and warm. _Tempting_. The boy’s lips grazing against his sends delicious shivers on his body. His hands are first in the boy’s face, before it travels to his shoulders, then to his back, crushing him delicately against his body.

 

Baekhyun’s arms are snaked around Chanyeol’s neck. Their noses touch as their heads tilt to the side to give better access to their mouths. Lower lips moving in synchronize. Unlike their first time, this is more neat and more attentive to each other’s needs.

 

This is _deeper_ , more intimate. Baekhyun’s hands are caressing his shoulders and arms, travelling to and fro. The sounds of their lips vibrates in the room.

 

A soft moan from Baekhyun echoes in Chanyeol’s mouth and he feels more electrified. He deepens the kiss. This time moving his tongue to explore the depths of Baekhyun. He tastes everything. The milk which he drank earlier, the tinge of popcorn and biscuits left in between his teeth. He tastes sweet and salty and delicious altogether. He inhales him once more and he breathes the scent of baby powder and cologne. He traverses on the corners of his lips, to his jaw, then to the base of his throat leaving gently sucked skins on his way. Baekhyun’s head dips behind, his eyes shut closed. The boy shivers beneath Chanyeol’s touches.

 

Chanyeol is feasting over the other’s ear lobe as he fumbles over the buttons of the boy’s shirt. Baekhyun’s eyes flutter open at the touch, tilting his head. Chanyeol halts. Their gaze burn.

 

“Uhm…” Baekhyun clears his throat then speaks, his tone still shaky, his voice a little ragged. “Chanyeol… I do not… I don’t think I’m ready for…”

 

“Oh!” Chanyeol says, totally taken a back.

 

“Let’s… let’s not destroy the beauty of marriage.” Baekhyun adds, with a soft smile and a hoarse voice. His eyes very apologetic.

 

He closes the gap between them again to make up for the things he cannot do and Chanyeol kisses back as a concession, as a respect for Baekhyun’s vulnerability. The kiss has the same fire, same passion, same neatness. The two are lost once more at the beating of their hearts.

 

They pull apart when the need for air arises. Though their arms remain intact to one another, never letting go. Chanyeol places his hands on the other’s back once more, gently pulling him in, placing the boy’s head on his shoulders.

 

“I’m sorry.” He whispers as he cradles Baekhyun. “Marriage, you say?” Chanyeol’s well-kissed lips quirks upwards.

 

“Given the chance. Will you marry me?” Baekhyun asks, his voice a little dreamy but expectant. Chanyeol wishes to see his face, but their position is so comfortable to shift them.

 

“I should be the one asking you that.”

 

“We don’t have much _time_.”

 

_There goes Baekhyun again_. “Baekhyun.”

 

“Given the chance, will you marry me?” The boy asks once more.

 

“Will you marry me?”

 

“Yeol, please ans–”

 

“Yes.” Chanyeol responds.

 

“Yes.” Baekhyun replies.

***

 

Chanyeol’s phone vibrates under his pillow and he awakes. His hand sluggishly travels to silence it as blinks, flashing 8:10 AM. He turns it off immediately, afraid that the boy might be disturbed.

 

He carefully shifts himself so his body angles towards Baekhyun who is facing him. Chanyeol observes the sleeping Baekhyun. His mouth is a little open, a soft snore escaping his lips. His tousled dark brown hair, more dishevelled and practically glowing now that the sun is soaking the room. His beautiful eyes are shut. His arm is draping around Chanyeol’s waist.

 

Baekhyun’s head pillows Chanyeol’s arm. Though it feels numb because of the pressure and weight, he does not move. Instead, he lets his eyes feast once more over his hair, then travelling to his eyes, to his nose, then to his lips.

 

His hand lands on his cheek, gently caressing it then moves to put some strands away from his eyes. Baekhyun seems to respond on the light touch, because he shifts too. Now, his whole body is facing Chanyeol then he presses his lips together, the soft snore gone. Chanyeol smiles.

 

He cannot recall who slept first last night but what he remembers is that he carried Baekhyun to his bed and fell down with him, thumping softly on the mattress. His body is so light. He remembers Baekhyun snuggling on him as he slips his arm so the boy can rest his head. He remembers their comforting silence and Baekhyun’s tears.

 

Baekhyun’s words since day one are ringing to him. If anything, they are threats. _Warnings_. He is the riskiest person to love because his days are numbered. He will cause so much pain because he is dying.

 

But then again, Chanyeol counters those words. _It’s better to be hurt than to feel nothing at all_ , he argues. Chanyeol does not only want to exist, but he wants to live and he knows that _living_ has a cost – _pain_. _Better pain than regret_ , he reasons again. Taking risks is better than playing safe all his life.

 

So if Baekhyun is a deadly cliff, Chanyeol is very much willing to jump onto _him_.

 

This has been the adjudication of his very _first_ mental debate: He will stay. He will stay with _Baekhyun_.

 

Chanyeol pulls his arm back very very carefully. Hair strands cling to the fabric of his sleeve. He dusts it off, distracted by the words rushing to him and he is itching to write. The sun continues to rise.

 

Once he made sure that Baekhyun is still asleep, he hops off the bed. He walks to the study table then writes:

 

_There are times melody will find you, I said_

_When the sun went down and the sky bled_

_I will be the one to find you, you said_

_That day when the sun went down and the sky bled._

_I was only asking for a melody, but the sky –_

_Too gracious, gave me a home,_

_So no more, I roam._

_I only ask for a melody because I have the words, but the sky –_

_Too gracious, gave me a song_

_Bringing harmonies, rhythms, and tempos along._

_I wanted only a melody,_

_But the sky gave you to me._

He puts his scribbled words on Baekhyun’s bedside table, placing a snow globe on top so it will not fly away. He wants Baekhyun to read it while he is away but just in case that does not happen due to some circumstance like Baekhyun waking up at eleven, he sets his own phone on alarm at 10:00.

 

He also sets the alarm tone with _Don’t Go_ as he learned that it is the boy’s _most_ favourite song. He makes sure to adjust the volume so it would not be too painful to hear. He wants the boy to open his eyes beautifully as he enjoys the music.

 

Then he scrawls another message just below the poem. This time, a note saying _Don’t leave your room until I get back._

 

Chanyeol prays that his attempt to be romantic will not be futile. He hopes that Baekhyun will awake at the sound of alarm clock and will notice the piece of paper. He hopes that he will arrive just in time after Baekhyun reads it to see his adorable smile.

 

He arranges the duvet, covering Baekhyun with it. He closes the curtain to filter the sunlight then he turns the lamp off. With a quick and soft peck on Baekhyun’s cheeks, he leaves the room to get their breakfast.

 

He meets Jongdae and Kyungsoo on his way.

 

“Good morning, Chanyeol. Where have you might been last night?” Jongdae greets teasingly.

 

“Should I answer that?”

 

Kyungsoo chides in but his tone is light and playful. “Don’t tell me you sleep with him.”

 

“I did.” Chanyeol grins. His friends are wide-eyed, mouths open but even before his friends can further react, he says, “Literally. We sleep side by side in his bed but we don’t do _stuff_.”

 

Jongdae eyes him carefully, “I don’t believe you.”

 

“Believe me. Let’s not destroy the beauty of marriage.” He echoes Baekhyun’s words as he dismisses his friends’ dirty thoughts.

 

There are coos and _ayiieeeees_ once more and Chanyeol feels he is getting used to it. Both the coos and banters and his the swelling of cheeks.

 

“So tell me, do you really like him? Now?” Kyungsoo plasters a proud smile.

 

“I think so. And I feel like it goes beyond that.”

 

“Are you willing to take the risk?” Jongdae asks. _The same thing_.

 

“I’ve been thinking about that question though. Baekhyun also says it aloud. He says it’s risky and all that. But what do I do? I feel helpless. I’d rather take the risk than be full of regret. And yep, regarding your question, I think the answer is _yes_.”

 

Kyungsoo pats him in the back, “Whatever you want, you know we’re here, right? Just tell us anything.”

 

“I am just wondering though,” Chanyeol sounds melancholic. “I feel like things are happening fast. Don’t you think I’m being irrational? I mean, we’ve just known each other for, what? A week? I know I like him. Very much. But, I can’t help but ask why?”

 

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” Kyungsoo bursts out laughing at Jongdae’s question. “Very cliché, I know. But I don’t think there’s a point in denying what you feel. Besides, I don’t think you are rushing. You’re _just_ telling yourself and us that you like someone. It’s not that you are going to ask his hand for marriage. Nothing like that yet, right?”

 

Chanyeol remembers the exchange of questions about marriage with Baekhyun the night before but he just says, “All I know is I want to be with him.”

 

They reach the fifteenth floor. Kyungsoo’s eyes are soft and warm, “You don’t have to know the whole history of a flower before you can say you like it. Jongdae’s right. Take your time to know _him_ better. That will validate both your feelings. Does he like you too?”

 

“I think so. He doesn’t say it directly, though. But I think I can feel it.”

 

When they enter the hall, Chanyeol bids goodbye to his friends. “I’ll see you later. Baekhyun agreed. We’ll shoot today with him. Tell us what songs so we can practice.”

 

His friends break into smiles and excitement is flooding their eyes. They stride happily to their table. Chanyeol heads to the counter and requests for two breakfast meals to be delivered in room 917 at around 10:15.

 

The clock strikes 9:45 when he finished taking a shower on their room on the twelfth floor, his heart thumping wildly on his chest.

 

He recalls his friends’ words. Maybe Kyungsoo is right, Baekhyun is such a beautiful flower and he longs to be with him, to care for him. It does not matter if he falls for him even at just the first sight, as long as he will _take his time to know Baekhyun better_.

 

He smiles again when he remembers Baekhyun stopping him that night. If anything, he should feel embarrassed but pride overwhelms him because Baekhyun knows his limitation and Chanyeol can control his urges.

 

From what he knows, it is really so hard to get out of the fire once it starts to burn. Maybe this is one way of Baekhyun telling him to _wait_. Until that moment, when both of them are ready.

 

_And married_.

 

He hurriedly goes down to a flower shop to buy a rose. He does not know what flower Baekhyun wants or if he even likes flowers but he wants to give him something. It is just a single stem and he prays once more that Baekhyun will like it. Once the rose is paid, he asks for a pen then writes in the dangling card, _To my beautiful melody_.

 

His glances at his watch. 10:14. He hurries to the elevator with a bouncing heart, palm sweaty from excitement and nervousness. Crossing his fingers, he wishes for his plan to work.

 

When he arrives at the floor, he walks unsteadily in front of Baekhyun’s room. But before knocking, he peaks through the small window of the door. His heart melts instantly at the sight.

 

Baekhyun is sitting at the edge of his bed, his legs dangling and swaying playfully. Clutched in his hand is a paper. There is a very big smile tearing his lips, his eyes gone. His cheeks are tinted rose as he reads.

 

Chanyeol observes for another minute, until he sees Baekhyun rubbing his chest. Until the paper is pressed to his heart. Until Baekhyun falls happily into the bed, squirming and squealing.

 

Chanyeol composes himself then knocks, pretending that he did not see anything. Baekhyun is taking a little too long to answer. _Maybe he’s also composing himself_ , he thinks then chuckles at the thought.

 

Soon after, the door opens and reveals a beautifully and freshly awakened Baekhyun. The big and sweet smile still on his lips. Chanyeol is about to utter his good morning when a pair of arms is thrown around his neck. Baekhyun pulls him against his body and Chanyeol is rendered helpless. He responds by circling his arms around the boy’s waist, tightening the hug.

 

Baekhyun is still hugging him when they enter the room. A sway of his foot closes the door.

 

“Good morning, my melody. How’s your sleep?” He asks as he inhales the morning fragrance of Baekhyun’s body.

 

“I don’t think you even have the faintest idea of what you are doing to my heart.” Baekhyun says without breaking the contact.

 

“You read it, then?” Chanyeol feels warm inside. Delighted that he can affect the boy the way he affects him.

 

“Thank you. I love it.” This time, he loosens his hold on his neck to face him, but Chanyeol’s arms are still on his waist.

 

Burying his eyes on Baekhyun’s, Chanyeol gives him the rose. Baekhyun stares at it a little too long before receiving it, closing his fingers delicately on the stem. “Do you like it?”

 

“ _You knock me out, I fall apart.”_ He sings as a response and Chanyeol once more inhales both his voice and his morning breath.

 

“Baekhyun?” He breaks into a smile as the boy makes another _reference_ to say what he feels.

 

“It’s from a musical. I like that line. Anyway, what are we doing for today? Why can’t I leave the room?”

 

The knocks on the door answer his question. “We’re going to have breakfast. _Together_.” Chanyeol disentangles himself from the boy to answer the knocks.

 

The food cart delivers their breakfast meals. Baekhyun clears the center table and sits on one of the couches. They feast over bread, milk, egg, bacon, ham, and apples. Baekhyun seems to be enjoying himself.

 

“You know,” the boy says, after swallowing his slices of apple. “I never had a breakfast in five years, I think.”

 

“Are you serious, Baekhyun? No wonder you’re so light. You have to eat more. Here.” He passes him another bread and refills his glass of milk. The sun is peaking on the room, slightly defeating the thick curtains.

 

“It’s my disease. Loss of appetite and besides, I wake up late. Our lunch is both my breakfast and lunch.” He beams as he bites his bread. “I’m enjoying this, by the way. Thank you, really, Chanyeol. I owe you a lot.”

 

Chanyeol returns the smile. “You are most welcome. Now, eat. More.”

 

“You shouldn’t be doing this, though. I might… I just might get used to it.” Baekhyun says impassively but Chanyeol does not fail to see the blood coloring his cheeks.

 

“Then I say, get used to it. I don’t think I will ever get tired of doing this, anyway.”

 

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

 

“You don’t trust me?” Chanyeol glances up at him, looking for any leaked emotions synonymous to doubt, but there is none. Only hope and melancholy.

 

“I just don’t trust our _circumstances_.”

 

“You shouldn’t. Here, taste this.” Chanyeol fills his spoon with bacon and cheese and flies it over to Baekhyun’s mouth. “Open, say aaaaaaaa.”

 

Their smiles and laughter dismiss their previous topic. Chanyeol seems to be enjoying feeding the boy and Baekhyun seems to be contented with the action. At the back of their minds, this suggests Chanyeol’s determination and Baekhyun’s concession.

 

Baekhyun is about to take another bite from the bread Chanyeol holds when the door opens. They freeze in their spot. Baekhyun’s mouth still open and Chanyeol’s arm still stretched.

 

“Hey, you’re awake!” Nurse Minseok enters with a medical apparatus. He busies himself on getting it inside, his foot pushing the small wheels. “Oh!” The nurse gasps when his eyes land on their frozen position then he breaks into a smile. “Good morning, love birds. Am I interrupting something?” His eyes are playful and teasing.

 

“Can’t you knock?” Baekhyun asks, feigning irritation then bites the bread. There crumbs fall on the table. Chanyeol withdraws his arm back and fills his spoon once more, but this time, it goes directly to his own mouth.

 

“I’m your nurse! Since when did I knock?” He bickers and sets the apparatus near Baekhyun. “Usual check-up. Come on.”

 

“Good morning, Minseok. Have you eaten?”

 

“Good morning, Chanyeol. Yes. With your friends. They say you’ll be here.” He chuckles lightly, his tone still teasing.

 

“Perks of having friends.” Baekhyun comments, his eyes gleaming with amusement.

 

Baekhyun lays down, his head on Chanyeol’s lap. Minseok seems to be uncomfortable with the scene but makes no comment about it. Chanyeol once more combs his hair, strands clinging to his fingers as he moves. He carefully watches the nurse as he unfastened some buttons so he can put three small circular pads just above his heart. The machine blinks into existence and the bleeps echo in the room.

 

Minseok’s pointing and middle fingers press over the pressure points on Baekhyun’s neck, feeling the pulse. Then, on his wrist. He presses more parts; his chest, his sides, his stomach. Baekhyun is silent for most parts except for his ticklish ones.

 

When the nurse applies pressure to his groin, Chanyeol expected another giggle, but what he hears is a gasp of pain. Baekhyun’s hands fly to his mouth and he closes his eyes shut.

 

Chanyeol tenses at the sight and he immediately grabs his hand and sandwiches it to his. He hushes Baekhyun when another moan of pain escapes his lips.

 

Minseok continues to put pressure on the areas around his groin and his hips. Checking, feeling, then writing down some notes. Then presses again and again.

 

Baekhyun tenses beneath Minseok’s and Chanyeol’s touches, trying to shut the pain out. “We need to talk with Dr. Zhang. It’s here again, Baek.” He comments as he checks the machine. “Your pulse is fine but I can feel something on your pelvic region.”

 

“Is it bad?” Chanyeol asks, voice troubled and wary.

 

“No, if we can diagnose it early. You being a good boy, Baek?” He questions as he removes the pads on his chest. He produces a syringe then pokes it gently on his arm. Baekhyun winces a little but remains still.

 

“Yes. I’m being a good boy.” He answers, a little too tired. His face battles between comfort and pain.

 

Minseok bids goodbye after that _usual check-up_. The two remain to where they are. Chanyeol combs Baekhyun’s hair once more. “You okay, Baekhyun?” Silence answers him.

 

“I’m taking a bath. Will you wait for me here, or do you–”

 

“No. No. I’ll be here. I’ll wait for you.” Chanyeol smiles and helps him get up. “Uhm, can I read Baekhyun? Your poems?”

 

“Alright.” He says lifelessly. He walks towards his bathroom without another word.

 

Chanyeol grabs the notebook and flips randomly to a page then reads the poem entitled Dark Jewels.

 

_People see pearls and shining stones_

_These jewels they thought to emblazon_

_Not knowing that they are my demons_

_Wrecking the only world I own_

_They smile at my golden earring_

_For they do not hear what it is saying_

_“I will never be good enough”, it always whispers_

_Again and again, until I’m tired to whimper_

_O how they adore my necklaces that glimmer_

_With no understanding that they choke my laughter_

_Having words that remind me of my flaws_

_Calling back the memories of all my loss_

_They also like the bands in my wrists_

_Which restrain my arms, building the limits_

_With words that no matter how hard I try_

_I will always be a failure until the day I die_

_To these rings who are always mocking_

_That all the words are empty in my writing_

_Believing that my paper will remain clean and white_

_Because I cannot weave the words right_

_I often wonder, where is that beauty_

_In the jewels they see in me?_

_But I remember how demons love glamour_

_Pretending to be the angels to the eyes of the beholder_

_I remove them when I’m home_

_I don’t wear them when I’m alone_

_Because instead of letting me sleep in my bed_

_They stay awake inside me head._

 

Chanyeol reads a few more. Flipping here and there, trying to access the deepest and most broken parts of Baekhyun. His heart is contracting at his words, tearing at his pain both outside and inside. But he holds onto the idea that if he stays with _him_ , he needs to be stronger than this. He is about to read ‘Fall’ when he hears his name.

 

“Chanyeol? Chanyeol? Are you still there?” Baekhyun’s voice is a little muffled.

 

He stands by the door before answering with a knock, “Hey, Baekhyun. I’m still here. Why? Are you okay? Do you need help?”

 

“I forgot my towel. Can you get it for me? Open the cabinet near my bed. It’s hanging. The grey one.”

 

“Alright. Wait a second.” As soon as he grabs his towel, a lump forms Chanyeol’s throat.

 

_How am I going to give this to you without me seeing you nake–_

 

“Baekhyun, it’s here. How do I get to–”

 

“Go inside.” He orders _casually_. As if asking another to enter his bathroom as he takes a bath is a very common thing.

 

“Are you serious, Baekhyun?”

 

“Do I sound like I’m kidding? It’s either you come here or I go outside.”

 

“But–”

 

“Yeoooool!” He whines, though Chanyeol cannot assess his tone. Irritated or playful? “Don’t make this hard for us. Go insideeeeee!”

 

Chanyeol wipes the sweat – he thinks – forming on his forehead. He turns the knob and swallows a lump. _The door is not even locked_ , he thinks as he composes himself. He breathes in and out before pushing the door open.

 

He does not know what he is going to do; cover his eyes or walk backwards? But he settles on keeping his eyes on the floor. The tiles are white. On his peripheral vision there is a black counter top, then a sink with a mirror large enough for you to see your whole self if you stand on the correct line of sight.

 

“Sit here.” Baekhyun orders again. He does not know _where he should sit_ as his eyes are still trailing the floor.

 

“Baekhyun, here’s your towel.” He stretches his hand when he nears the bathtub. His voice is shaky.

 

Baekhyun chuckles. “You can look at me. I’m covered… with bubbles.” Chanyeol struggles not to roll his eyes.

 

_As if bubbles make any difference, you’re still naked_ , Chanyeol speaks in his mind.

 

“Come here.”

 

Chanyeol watches his steps carefully. He gulps down once more as he looks at him. Baekhyun’s arm is hanging on the edge of the tub. Most of his body is submerged in the milky water and bubbles. His skin is pale white, patches of fading bruises are scattered on his shoulders and there is one in his chest. But still, Chanyeol gasps at the sight. He has never seen such beauty in his life.

 

There is a stool beside the tub, a small one. Too small, actually, for Chanyeol’s size but he sits there nonetheless “What’s the matter?” Chanyeol finally speaks, his eyes levelling with the boy’s. He can _almost_ breathe normally now, because the milky water clouds most of Baekhyun’s body.

 

“Do you remember the risk?” The boy asks quietly.

 

Chanyeol inhales, “Baekhyun.”

 

“This is the _risk_ I am talking about.” Baekhyun sits up, half of his body is revealed. The milky water trails down his skin and water splashes a little violently.

 

Maybe Chanyeol is just a little focused on the check-up earlier that he manages to see only now those many bruises painted across his body. There is one just below his left nipple, another under his collar bone, then so many more on his back. Chanyeol’s eyes traverse on all his skin.

 

“Now, are you still willing to take this ri–”

 

“I don’t know why we are even talking about this. But fine, if you want to talk. You will eventually get tired of asking me that. I’m sorry to say this but my answer will always be the same. _Yes_.”

 

“Chanyeol, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“Maybe I don’t. But let me take this path I choose for myself. I’ll find out answers myself. Just let me stay.”

 

“Look at me! I’m dying! Can’t you see that?”

 

“I know! You’re dying!” He shouts this time and it hurts. Because saying it out loud makes it more _real_. Chanyeol’s tears are on his lids but Baekhyun’s are already streaming down his face. “But that doesn’t mean you’re hopeless. You gotta fight a little harder. A little longer. Please.” He closes his eyes as he grabs Baekhyun’s hand. Holding it tightly as if he is clinging to his life line.

 

“You can’t ask me for _days_ , Yeol. That is the thing I lack.” His voice cracks as he shifts to rest his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder, not minding if he will get wet.

 

Chanyeol does not seem to mind also as he wraps his arm around the boy’s shoulder, pressing his body closely to him.

 

“If we give _this_ a chance, what will happen to you when I leave?”

 

“Let _me_ worry about that. But right now,” Chanyeol smiles but his eyes are pleading. “Right now is the only thing we have. Baekhyun, please. Don’t deny _us_ that.”

 

Baekhyun responds by breaking from his embrace. With his two hands, he grabs Chanyeol’s face and slams it into him, a little too hard. Their lips meet with hunger and scorching heat.

 

It is not careful but reckless with teeth and tongues clashing. If they can deepen the kiss more, they will and they do. The water splashes as Baekhyun shifts into a better position. He _kneels_ on the tub and holds onto the other’s hair, but _gratefully_ for Chanyeol, his private part is still away from his sight. Their breaths become ragged the more they grazes their lips into each other. _Biting. Licking. Exploring._

 

Chanyeol’s heated body becomes wobbly. He does not intend to wander his hands without the boy’s permission so he locks his arms firmly on his waist, but with the intensity of their kiss and Baekhyun’s slick body, they fall. The slight touch on his arse makes Baekhyun moan, and his beautiful cracked voice rings in Chanyeol’s core.

 

Soon enough, Baekhyun stands without parting their lips, Chanyeol does the same, but with his eyes close shut. He scoops Baekhyun up carefully because is skin is slick and wet with water and soap. The boy’s legs clasp on his waist for support. Chanyeol can practically feel Baekhyun’s manhood, poking his stomach. He feels the fire, ravaging him inside.

 

He presses Baekhyun against the wall for support as his lips rummage on his jaw, then on the crook of his neck, his throat then his earlobes. He overwhelms his senses with Baekhyun’s smooth skin and his baby smell. The boy is rendered helpless as he allows Chanyeol do his thing as he whimpers from time to time. All he does is pull Chanyeol’s hair, then massage them after, then travel his hands on his broad shoulder, then letting out a moan once more.

 

“Chanyeol,” His whisper is broken by the sensation, “Are we really doing this?”

 

This time, it is Chanyeol who stops. He looks at him once more then lets his lips touch the boy’s. He kisses him once again. But this time, more passionate and careful and warm. It is as if their first time. _Innocent._ No teeth, no tongue. Only his lips and his heart and his _intentions_.

He pours his heart out on this kiss, with the hope that Baekhyun allows him to stay, hope that Baekhyun allows himself to trust him, that Baekhyun fights a little longer until whatever they are feeling bloom into something more. Something deeper, something stronger. Something like _love_.

 

“Baekhyun,” He smiles on his lips. “Somebody once told me not destroy the beauty of marriage.”

 

Baekhyun groans in response. Frustration evident in his eyes and Chanyeol only chuckles. “What about me?” Chanyeol is aware of his manhood still standing proudly and he actually feels the frustration too.

 

“Well, we can do something about that without blemishing _the beauty of marriage_.”

***

 

“Yeol! How do I look?”

 

“Beautiful as ever, Baekhyun. You ready?” Chanyeol smiles warmly at him.

 

Baekhyun’s face is contoured. His eyes are even more striking – more alive – with an eyeliner. His lips gloss against the late lights of the sun. His tousled dark brown hair glows and Chanyeol cannot help himself but admire the view. More beautiful than the clouds above them.

 

“I am. I feel excited and I don’t know why. Does it always feel like this?”

 

“This thrilling? Yes. It’s always like this. But I am surprised,” Chanyeol cups Baekhyun’s face. His thumb caressing the other’s cheeks.

 

The shooting site is at the rooftop – _Baekhyun’s choice_. All of them are getting ready for their performances. Stools, mic, speakers are arranged. However, the setup is not as chaotic back in their studio. Everyone moves in synchronize. No shouting, no time pressure and everyone wears their own kind smile.

 

“Alright, try put that there. I think it will be more effective. By the way, get our camera men ready.” They overhear the stage manager.

 

“Yes sir.”

 

“Thank you very much.”

 

“Sound system ready, everyone?”

 

“Surprised? Where?” Baekhyun leans to Chanyeol’s touch, also wearing his own warm smile.

 

“Look at them.” His gazes wander on the staff he is working with. “This is not how we do things in the studio. It’s very disorganized. I mean, disorganized compared to this. Shouting here and there. Grumpy people and all that.”

 

Baekhyun chuckles lightly, “Maybe because you are in a hospital?”

 

“Maybe. Or maybe because you are here. You always calm people down.”

 

“Come on, guys! You have time _later_ for that!” Jongdae pats Chanyeol’s shoulder lightly, calling their attention.

 

“Do I?” Baekhyun pays Jongdae no heed and there is a meaningful look in his eyes. “It’s wonderful thing to ask, though. If I seem to calm people down, then who calms me down?” He grins.

 

“Kyungsoo and Baekhyun. You guys are first. Then Chanyeol and me. Then the four of us. Ready? Kyungsoo! Over here!”

 

“You really know how to ruin moments, Dae!” Chanyeol rolls his eyes. A little annoyed, he grabs Baekhyun’s hand and leads the way.

 

 “Hey! I’m sorry I’m late.” Kyungsoo pants, a little sweaty. He fans his face with his hands as he inhales air.

 

“You always are.” Jongdae bickers friskily.

 

“I had to fetch some of our friends downstairs.” As Kyungsoo speaks, Jongin and Sehun walk toward them with the same smile everyone has. Warm, bright, and light.

 

“Woah! So the whole gang is here.”

 

“Hi hyung! Surprised to see us? Kyungsoo asked us to come. Seeing the look on your face, I’m betting he didn’t tell you we’re coming.” Jongin retorts, brushing his nape, trying to look cool.

 

“I didn’t tell because Chan here is very much preoccupied with some… _matters_. Aren’t you, Chan?” Kyungsoo pokes Chanyeol’s side, urging him to further elaborate the _issue_.

 

Chanyeol clears his throat, trying to look innocent. “Baekhyun, this is Jongin and Sehun. Sehun is the youngest in our group. Jongin is the darkest.”

 

“Come on, hyung! You don’t do that in front of our fan.” Jongin jests. “Hi there!” He greets, wiggling his eyebrows.

 

“Correction, he is not our fan.” Kyungsoo laughs and so does Jongdae.

 

“He doesn’t even know J-SKY. Believe me.” Jongdae adds in between his laugh.

 

“Hi! I’m Byun Baekhyun. I’m sorry, it’s just that I’m not into pop culture right now. But I know some songs, don’t worry.” He giggles shakily. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jongin and Sehun.” He shakes both their hands enthusiastically.

 

“Hello Baekun! Please to meet you too. How have you been with these three? I hope you are not having a hard time.” Sehun pouts at him, looking exasperated.

 

“Oh no, don’t worry about it. They’ve been very good to me. And, uhm, it’s Baekhyun actually.” Baekhyun smiles, highly emphasizing the pronunciation of his name.

 

“That’s what I said.” Sehun replies, surprised.

 

“I thought I heard Bacon.” He questions innocently and all of them break into laughter yet again.

 

“Don’t mind him, he’s always like that.” Chanyeol whispers in between his giggles.

 

“If you are not a fan, then…” Jongin attempts to ask but struggles to find words that will not sound offensive. “You are a staff here?”

 

“Yes. I work here.” Baekhyun answers, a genuine smile still on his face. “I’m their new friend, I guess.”

 

“Ooops! Correction!” Jongdae butts in, borrowing Kyungsoo’s word. “He’s not _just_ a new friend. Well, he is to us. But not to Chanyeol.” He grins, throwing a teasing look at Chanyeol.

 

“Yup!” Kyungsoo joins. “Jongin, Sehun, it’s a pleasure to introduce to you our Byun Baekhyun. Chanyeol’s new love interest.” He claps hard, his smile widening even more. His lips form heart shape.

 

“No. Way.” Jongin is too lost for words. He gapes at Baekhyun then to Chanyeol then back to Baekhyun again. “Are you sure? What did you see in our hyung?”

 

“Jongin–” Chanyeol attempts to halt him but is immediately cut off.

 

“I mean it’s easy to see what Chanyeol hyung saw in you but why? Why him?” His teasing tone is drowned by the seriousness in his face.

 

It is supposed to be a rhetorical question but Baekhyun is too happy to notice so he answers, “Sometimes it’s not what your eyes see, but what your heart says.”

 

“Chanyeol hyung!” Sehun shouts, a glint in his eyes. “Congratulations. You have my blessing. I like him.”

 

“As if I need that.” Chanyeol rolls his eyes. His cheeks are burning once more.

 

“I still can’t believe this–”

 

Chanyeol pats Jongin in the shoulder. “There, there Jongin. You’ll find yours soon. Now, let’s proceed so we can end early. Baekhyun needs to rest.”

 

Chanyeol takes Baekhyun’s hand once more and heads to the shooting site. The other four, trailing behind them, struggle to contain their emotions.

 

“Hyung has grown up, hasn’t he?” They hear Sehun’s comment.

 

Then it was Jongin, “Are you sure Chanyeol hyung didn’t use any sorcery?”

 

Jongdae and Kyungsoo only manage waves of laughter. Aside from singing and bantering against each other, their new hobby has been teasing the love birds.

 

“Baekhyun! A minute please.” They all turn around and see the doctor running towards them. “Oh! Hey! You are… with people.” The doctor beams at them.

 

“This is my best friend, Dr. Yixing Zhang. He owns this hospital.” Baekhyun grabs the liberty to introduce him to the other two. “Xing, they are Chanyeol’s friends. Here’s Sehun and Jongin.”

 

“Glad to meet you.” The doctor extends his hands to shake theirs.

 

“Hello, doctor. I am Oh Sehun. I am Chanyeol’s friend. We are in the same band.”

 

“I’m Kim Jongin. Nice to meet you, Sir.” After the handshake, Jongin salutes playfully.

 

“Thank you so much for visiting.” Dr. Zhang replies before turning to Baekhyun. “Minseok will be here in a minute to watch. I don’t need to remind you to not exhaust yourself too much. Okay?”

 

“Yes sir.” Baekhyun answers impishly.

 

“Chanyeol, I can trust you, right? Please take care of our Baekhyun.” He smiles at him but his eyes hold seriousness. The others hoot but Chanyeol knows this is not a jest nor a tease.

 

He answers the doctor with his eyes holding _that_ _understanding_. “Baekhyun is safe with me. Don’t worry too much, doctor.”

 

“Last thing, Baekhyun?” Dr. Zhang looks at him softly, with a proud smile.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Make us proud.”

***

 

_The answer is you_

_My answer is you_

_Nae modeun geol da boyeo jweo boasseo_

_You are my everything_

“He’s lovely.” Sehun remarks as he, Jongin, and Chanyeol watch their performance. Jongdae is on the other side of the site, preparing for the next roll of the camera.

 

“Do you know each other for long? I haven’t heard about him.” Jongin asks, full of curiosity in his voice.

 

“I met him in the seaside twice few days before we got here.”

 

Sehun smiles, “The world is really small, don’t you think, hyung?”

 

“Yes. Small and _cruel_.”

 

Noting how he rolls the last word, the other two eyes Chanyeol but no one speaks. Silence embraces them as their eyes fall at the boy soulfully singing in front of the camera.

 

_Meorissiken ontong ne saegakman_

_Neoui pyojeong useumsoriga duryeo_

Baekhyun’s voice resounds as the sun continues to travel in another world. Its dying glow paints the sky with orange, royal gold, and pink. In Chanyeol’s eyes, the sky seem to participate in the video shooting, adding astounding effect to the totality of the performance. Even the breeze seems to enjoy the serenade, dramatically combing Kyungsoo and Baekhyun’s hair.

 

_The answer is you_

_That is you_

_My answer is you_

_Only you_

Baekhyun’s voice with Kyungsoo’s is the most heavenly of sounds. A smile never dares to leave Jongin’s lips. Their voices somehow soothe his body.

 

“What type of can–” Jongin asks, but does not attempt to completely say the word.

 

“Leukemia.” Chanyeol replies, his voice flat.

 

Silence cloaks them again for a few good minutes before Sehun finds something to say. “But you know hyung, sometimes, the most broken are the most beautiful.”

 

“I agree. Are you happy hyung? Do you think you’ll be happy?” Jongin asks once more.

 

“There are risks I am willing to take. And yes, I am happy.”

 

“Then I am happy too! It’s hard to find pretty boys like Baekhyun.” He sniggers.

 

“Baekhyun is more than his looks, believe me. You’ll find yourself drowning in the depths of his soul.” Chanyeol is unconscious that a smile is playing at his lips. That his eyes display nothing but admiration and hope when he talks about the boy.

 

The other two did not fail to note those and this is the time when they knew that it is real.

 

They know that Chanyeol used to date boys in his own way of _subtlety_. But never did they see Chanyeol looking someone as precious as the way he looks at Baekhyun. Neither did they hear him talking about someone like he is Chanyeol’s most valued possession. Chanyeol has never been so vocal and loud and open about these things.

 

“You really like him.” Jongin voices out.

 

“It goes beyond that.” Chanyeol replies, his voice sounding lost and dreamy.

 

It is no doubt that Chanyeol really does. Baekhyun is not hard to like. He is not hard to _love_. In every minute of every day, in every word of their conversation, in every look, Chanyeol just falls deeper.

 

As Baekhyun sings the last line, he flutters his eyes open and directly looks at Chanyeol.

 

_Nan neoraseo_

_It’s you, It’s you_

Then it is Chanyeol who admits to himself, “This is real.”

***

 

“Hello everyone! This is Park Chanyeol once more.” Chanyeol beams at the camera. “This has not been planned but we love you so much to make you wait longer again. I can’t thank you enough for all the support you are showing me and my friends and I wish you would stay with us all as we journey to another milestone as J-SKY.” The six of them, with Chanyeol and Baekhyun placed in the middle, squash themselves together to fit in the camera.

 

“Yes.” Jongdae speaks, “And we are so much proud and happy and honoured to introduce to you, our newest member, _hopefully_ , Byun Baekhyun!”

 

“Yehet! Ohorat!” Sehun motions his fist in the air, clearly amused.

 

“Let us all welcome Byun Bacon!” Jongin teases. The six of them burst out laughing, undoubtedly enjoying the whole thing. They clap their hands with burning enthusiasm and genuine warmth.

 

Chanyeol takes hold of Baekhyun’s wrist and raises them up in the air, waving. “Woohooo! Baekhyun! Baekhyun! Baekhyun!”

 

“Yeool!” He laughs as he gets his arms down. He arranges his polo then clears his throat. Unaware of his burning cheeks at their warm welcome, he beams genuinely at the camera. “Hello everyone. This is Byun Baekhyun! Thank you so much for all the love and support you are giving J-SKY. It is such an honour to sing with them and be on the same stage. They are nothing but passionate souls ready to give this world good music. Please support them until the end.” Baekhyun gestures a large heart sign with his arms outstretched up, his hands placed atop his head, elbows curving.

 

Laughing at how cute he is, Chanyeol pokes him in the sides. Baekhyun jerks then crouches down as he shields his body from Chanyeol’s attack. Jongdae does the same to Chanyeol and their laughter resounds once more.

 

“This has been J-SKY, everyone. We love you all!” Kyungsoo bids goodbye before joining the attack. Poking Jongin on his sides.

 

 “This is how mature my hyungs are.” Sehun whispers at the camera, his face too close on the lens but immediately steps back to reveal the scene behind him. “Forgive them. There are times I wonder why they have fans since they’re like this. As you can see, they – ugh!”

 

Jongdae starts tickling him too. “You don’t get to talk to our fans like that! Come here, Sehunnie!”

 

Sehun runs away, laughing hard. The sight is riotous but the six of them are clearly enjoying their own game. Fixed with their partners, they continue the attacks and the pokes.

 

 “No no no! Please. Let’s stop.” Baekhyun pleads, still bending down, hands ready and alert. Chanyeol’s pointing fingers pop up, ready to attack. “Yeoool!”

 

Kyungsoo is being chased by Jongin who is slowed down by his laughter. “Kyungsoo hyung! Come back here, you coward! Fight me!”

 

Baekhyun manages to put a safe distance from Chanyeol and goes directly in front of the camera. Pasting his funny face – puckering his lips and widening his eyes, he whispers, “I can’t believe they are like this, everyone. But yeah, there is a child in every musician’s heart. Clearly, these kids are just unleashed. Please support them until the end. Hwai–”

 

“Got you!” Chanyeol locks his arms around Baekhyun’s waist. They both stagger back from the camera until Chanyeol regains their balance, arms still on the other’s waist. “Thank you everyone. This has been Park Chanyeol with Byun Baekhyun and the rest of J-SKY. Saranghaeyo, yeorobun!”

 

“Saranghaeyo! Saranghaeyo!” Baekhyun gestures a big heart once more, smiling ear-to-ear.

 

The six of them are nothing but smiles and laughter while the young night is nothing but stars and cold breeze.

***

 

Chanyeol awakes to the sound of Kyungsoo’s laughter. “What the fudge, guys? It’s too early!”

 

“Chan! You gotta see this! You have to see this! I swear!” Jongdae’s morning voice echoes in their room.

 

It has been his habit to lull Baekhyun to sleep, then to safely cover him with his duvet, then to adjust the temperature of the aircon before turning the lamps on, then leaving a soft, long kiss on his forehead before heading out. It has been a habit to help Baekhyun fight the demons plaguing him every night.

 

Last night is no different. After watching Baekhyun paint the songs they had just covered, their usual deep talks follow until he stifles a yawn and it is time for Chanyeol to bid good night. The clock hands poses a perfect ‘L’ by the time Chanyeol himself walks to his own dreamland.

 

Today is their last day in the hospital. There will be a send-off party in the afternoon for this year’s batch of artists but Chanyeol is too tired to feel the excitement. Chanyeol _feels_ it’s too early to be excited.

 

“Let me sleep, please!” He rolls to his side, burying his head in his pillow to muffle their laughter.

 

“Chanyeol! Check twitter now! Come on! Kyungsoo, this is hilarious! The fans are frantic! Wake up Park Chanyeol!”

 

“One more sound, Jongdae! I swear! I can’t believe twitter is more important than my sleep.” Chanyeol groans.

 

“Fine. But know this. You are trending.” Kyungsoo announces.

 

Chanyeol gets more irritated. “And so? Shut up! Let me sleep!”

 

“Top 2 spot.” Jongdae continues in between his laughter. “Hashtag ChanBaek with over 19 614 tweets. The screenshots are so… You really can’t keep it to yourselves.”

 

It takes Chanyeol a good five seconds before registering a familiarly foreign word. _Chanbaek_? He slowly gets up, his morning face basking in the sunlight peering inside their room.

 

“Now, you’re waking up?” Kyungsoo grins.

 

“What the fudge is ChanBaek?”

 

Jongdae rolls his eyes teasingly. “And now you’re asking. I thought you’re still sleepy.”

 

Chanyeol throws a pillow with much force and speed that Jongdae is not able to dodge, hitting him right in the face.

 

Jongdae giggles, “So, that’s your way of greeting good morning?”

 

“Good morning too. What the fudge is ChanBaek?”

 

“You have your own twitter account Chan. Check it yourself.” Kyungsoo winks at him, a teasing smile tugging his lips. “It’s as good at announcing things are official. Right, Dae?” They clap each other’s hand.

 

Chanyeol sluggishly takes his phone from under his pillow. As he turns his data on, waves of notifications splash at him. Beep after beep after beep that tones never get to finish their sound because another batch of notifications pops. Chanyeol opens his twitter app. Clicking #ChanBaek, he reads the tweets:

 

_Have you seen the way he looks at him?!? EOTTEOKHAEE?!? #CHANBAEK_

_#CHANBAEK IS THIS EVEN REAL PPL? TELL ME!!!_

_IM LOVING THE BYUN GUY! HE SINGS WELL! #chanbaek #jsky_

_THAT BACK HUG THO #chanbaek_

_if #chanbaek is real then your idol is gay eww_

_#BAEKYEOL #CHANBAEK saranghaeyoo_

_CRIMSON CHEEKS. SKINSHIP. BACKHUG. What more do u nid? #chanbaek iz real_

_Hoping Bacon oppa joins #JSKY #CHanBAek_

_PCY <3 BBH #CHANBAEK_

_The skinship everyone! I die! #CHANBAEK_

_Never seen sumthin as genuine as #chanbaek_

_#chanbaek follow for follow rt this tweet_

_#chanbaek #kaisoo #jsky forever_

_Is it just me or Baekhyun’s saranghaeyo is for pcy #chanbaek_

_Wut did I just see? #chanbaek fanservice???_

_What is lowkey everyone? Obviously it’s not #chanbaek_

_Hoping #chanbaek is real!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #chanbaek_

_#baekyeol #chanbaek is on fayaaa! burn baby burn_

_REAL HAS A NEW NAME!!!!!!asdfghjkl #chanbaek_

Chanyeol is too stunned that only his thumb moves to scroll for more. His usually big eyes widen more as he reads. Some are spiteful comments of them being gay but most tweets are too overwhelming that even if he replies ‘thank you’, it still won’t be enough.

 

Then there are the photos. Screen captures of their stolen moments. They both look like they are trapped in their own worlds, soul and mind connected.

 

Chanyeol shudders at the thought that other people could easily read what he and Baekhyun have. What he and Baekhyun shares. But then, looking at the photos; the way he looks at Baekhyun, the way Baekhyun smiles at him, the way they hold each other without shyness, and the way they invade each other’s personal _bubble space_ – anybody can tell how genuine their _relationship_ is – may it be _friendship_ or something deeper than that.

 

In one photo, Chanyeol becomes aware of how he looks at Baekhyun when he raises his hands in the air, when Baekhyun spoke and when he made a heart sign.

 

In another, he sees Baekhyun’s usual beam at him, eyes crinkling beautifully. There are screen captures of Baekhyun’s face when he neared the camera, then another captures when Chanyeol approached him from behind. There are photos of their chasing and poking and laughter.

 

“Look at him, smiling smugly again.” Chanyeol hears the words clearly but is unsure of who speaks the line.

 

A pillow lands at him, slightly missing his face. “You’re so in love! I can’t believe this.”

 

Then there’s this photo, which seem to top the ranks, proving to the fans that #ChanBaek is real, _or might be real_. Chanyeol’s warm and genuine smile when he hugs Baekhyun from behind. Baekhyun, despite all the protests his hands made, his eyes welcome the touch and his bright smile screams extreme happiness.

 

Chanyeol, again, shudders at the fact that they are like open books. So easy to read. He does not know that this is how they look from an outside perspective: so genuine, bursting with joy.

 

_So in love_ – if Chanyeol can already call it that.

 

He locks his phone by the time Jongdae and Kyungsoo sit on his bed, sandwiching him.

 

“This is how you look, Chan. When you look at Baekhyun.” Jongdae shows him a photo, freshly captured while Chanyeol was reading the tweets. “I don’t know if we’re just close and I’ve known you since time immemorial, but man! You look like an open magazine.”

 

“And in bold letters, your eyes say ‘Hey everyone! I love Byun Baekhyun!” Kyungsoo adds with a soft smile.

 

“And that smile… it’s not the typical Chanyeol smile we see whenever you’re with other people. It says you finally found the one.” Jongdae comments, sounding like it’s a compliment.

 

Chanyeol heaves a sigh but he can’t seem to erase the smile tugging his lips. “How can you fall in love in a week? I mean, who falls in love in a week?”

 

“Maybe there’s a reason why you fall in love in a week. With Baekhyun’s condition…” Kyungsoo leaves the words hanging but all of them understands the unspoken thought.

 

“Baekhyun is my nineteenth song. I think? He keeps coming to me when I think about melodies and all that.”

 

It is Jongdae’s turn to sigh, running his hands on his arms. “I’m sorry. I’m cringing. I’m not used to the Poetic Chanyeol, but don’t worry. I’ll work on it.” He pats Chanyeol’s shoulder.

 

“How do I know if it’s time to make things _official_?” Chanyeol asks, leaning on his bed rest and stretching his legs.

 

“We can’t answer that for you.” Kyungsoo responds. “But, if you’re sure that he is the one, and you don’t feel like letting him go regardless of who he is and what he has, I think you’re ready. But, to ask whether he is ready, that’s another story.”

 

“What if _we_ don’t work? What if I’m just making a fool of myself? What if we–”

 

“ _What ifs_ – that is where we start, Chan. _Always_. You told me once you are willing to take the risk. If he makes you happy and if you make him happy… Let’s settle first onto that, then cross the next bridges when we get there.” Jongdae gave him a genuine smile. A smile of reassurance that he will be there for him whatever happens.

 

“I’m afraid of the things we will encounter along the way. What if they are bigger than the both of us? I can’t break him more. That… that would destroy me.” Chanyeol continues voicing out his thoughts.

 

“Chan, do you remember the thing you told me about melody?” Kyungsoo’s smile melts Chanyeol’s heart, slowly dissolving all his doubts and worries. “You said, there are times melody will be the one to find you. Sometimes it’s there and you just have to let it in. No inhibitions.”

 

Chanyeol clearly remembers that day when he told Kyungsoo. But vividly remembers more that faithful day when he told the same thing to a stranger named Baekhyun and that same boy seems to have his heart now.

 

“And you just told us Baekhyun is your nineteenth song.” Jongdae adds.

 

“Life will always seem bigger than all of us. But whether we conquer life or life conquers us – that is in our hands. Look, Chan. You have so many questions right now but why don’t you find answers along the way?” Kyungsoo throws him a meaningful look, arching an eyebrow upward to emphasize his point.

 

They let silence loom over them for Chanyeol to reconsider, to rethink before plunging into one of the biggest decisions in his life.

 

“It’s funny.” Chanyeol says after a while. “I was just looking for a melody and–”

 

His is cut off by a buzz on his phone. He opens the message:

 

_From: Baekhyun Byun_

_Good morning, sunshine! Are you awake already? If you are, please see me in my room right now for a wonderful breakfast. (;_

“He always keeps coming.”

***

 

“For the past week, it has been full of wonderful performances from our dear artists who made time to visit us despite their busy schedule. Today, allow us to sincerely thank you through artistic performances from the people who never tire to fight the battles of life.” A loud and warm rounds of applause boom in the hall.

 

Unlike the previous days, it is the artists who stayed in the back stage, waiting for their turn to perform but since today is their last day, Dr. Zhang turned the tables around. Chanyeol sits beside his friends. Their table is the nearest to the stage.

 

Dr. Zhang continues, “For our first performer, please welcome on the stage, Lee Hyumi.”

 

Lee Hyumi appeared on the stage. _Walking_. The audience claps, a hint of anticipation lingers in the air. Chanyeol’s heart flutters.

 

_Hyumi is really is a fighter._

“Fighting, Hyumi!” Chanyeol shouts, loudly banging his hands together. She hears him and their eyes lock, both mirroring the other’s warm and genuine smile.

 

“Good afternoon, everyone.” She greets. “My name is Lee Hyumi. I don’t know what is more appropriate to say, though?” She asks the crowd while giggling, “To say that I am already 17 years old or that I am _just_ 17 years old. I am diagnosed with osteopo – osteosarcoma.”

 

The audience falls into silence, sad looks evident in their eyes. It takes a few good minutes before the claps and cheers resume. The sad looks are replaced with hopeful eyes and bright smiles.

 

“So, let me tell you something before I start. You have met a lot of people during the days of your stay. I am very sure that aside from knowing them, you get to know some parts of you as well. This building is not just a hospital but a tough battleground for those who keep fighting to survive. To live. And thank you for visiting us in the time of both our victory and defeat.

 

“Diagnosed cancer or not – for I am sure life has its ways in knocking each one of us down, let’s understand that we have what it takes but it will take everything we’ve got to live and not just exist. I am happy with the company of music and words when all we can hear is silence and hopelessness and depression.”

 

The crowd applauds once more, taking Hyumi’s words in the deep pits of their hearts. There are tears lingering in the eyelids of some. Some are sniffing.

 

“I will be reciting a poem that we, I and Mr. Byun Bakehyun have made. I remember, it was a raining that night and I feel like ending my life. I feel hopeless and useless. I came to him and he eases the storm inside me.” She smiles as she recounts that event. “Everyone, this is _Fall_.”

 

She clears her throat as she produces a neatly folded paper and starts to read:

 

_I looked up and witness_

_The most beautiful tragic_

_As death in its yellow dress_

_Silently beckons the leaf with its caress_

_I hear the leaf asked his Tree_

_It says it’s almost time to let go_

_The leaf nods silently_

_And waits for his friend, Gravity_

_The assurance of its companions_

_The Tree, the Time, the Gravity_

_Charges life to the dying leaf_

_Waning the fatal blows of grief_

_Then I asked myself is this the reason leaves fall lightly?_

_As if hugged by the wind_

_They willingly hold the hands of death_

_As they exhale their remaining breath_

_They let go because it’s the proper time_

_Not because of the scorching heat of the sun_

_Not because of the stabs of the cold rain_

_Not because of all the pain._

_What a beautiful tragic it is_

_Life crawls out, but I realized_

_Death is just another beginning_

_Somehow, the leaf will find its way back._

She pauses as she closes her eyes to breathe deeply. The crowd takes this opportunity to stand up. The claps and cheers are deafening once more.

 

She ends her beautiful words with a more meaningful statement. With a sad smile and expectant eyes, she says, “It’s so wonderful to think that we can be the leaf that has hold on for so long and still holding on; or the tree that others hold onto. The wind who hugs the leaf, the sun who gives life, or the rain who quenches thirst. It’s wonderful to think what we can be to someone but even more wonderful that we can be these things _altogether_.”

***

 

The dinner is served after all the performances of the patients. They feast once more on the delicious food, enjoying the company of one another. As usual, one table is occupied by the trio, the doctor, and the nurse. Baekhyun is still in the back stage, talking to some people.

 

“So, everything’s ready?” Chanyeol asks as he forks his chicken meat.

 

“Yes. All you have to do is _do it_.” Minseok comments, laughing lightly.

 

“You are really sure about this?” The doctor queries. “I mean, you have my blessing of course, but you know the situation. As Baekhyun’s best friend I want to know he is in good hands.”

 

“Baekhyun is in good hands, doctor.” Kyungsoo replies with a proud and reassured tone. “As Chanyeol’s best friend, I also want to assure that he is in good hands.”

 

“Chanyeol is in good hands, I assure you. Baekhyun is the best _lover_ someone could find.” He laughs. “You could never imagine how romantic he can be. Surprise him, and he’ll surprise you even more. Chanyeol can attest to that.”

 

Chanyeol can’t help but laugh and swell at the same time. Dr. Zhang and Kyungsoo sound like their parents talking about their sons’ marriage.

 

_Marriage_.

 

Chanyeol blushes at the thought that this _might_ not be the last time their best friends will talk like this. If the all the odds are in their favour and they agreed to–

 

_I don’t trust our circumstances._ Baekhyun’s words ring, killing a warm smile finding his lips. Thoughts are starting to swirl in his head once more.

 

But he triumphs against painful images in his minds when Baekhyun approaches them, finding a seat beside him. He wears his usual bright and genuine smile.

 

“I haven’t seen his _romantic_ side though.” Chanyeol sighs impishly, unable to contain his beam.

 

“It’s been a night. I hope you are enjoying.” Soft and slender fingers massage Chanyeol’s shoulders. “How are you, Yeol?”

 

“Chanyeol only? I mean, we’re five here and–” They burst out laughing at Minseok’s cute protest.

 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Shut it, I know you all are good. So how’s my Yeol?”

 

“I can’t believe you.” Minseok heaves an exasperated sigh. “First, you ask me to knock on your door and now, this? I’ve been with you since time immemorial!”

 

“Yes, and I’m only with him for what? Six days?”

 

“Nine days, actually. Including our bay moments.” Chanyeol corrects, winking at him.

 

“Look at these two love birds. Can’t you even–” Chen puts a shocked face as he remembers something. “Wait, have you seen the photos? I mean in twitter. ChanBaek?”

 

“ChanBaek?” Minseok splutters. “Chanyeol and Baekhyun? So ChanBaek? Very witty.” His tone is overloaded with sarcasm.

 

“What name can you suggest then?” Baekhyun banters as he laces his hand with Chanyeol’s under the table. Chanyeol smiles at the gesture.

 

“Well…” Minseok thinks for a moment. “BaekYeol or–”

 

“ _Very witty_.” They all chorus and break into laughter again.

 

The table becomes busy as they focus on their food. The program is about to end but the night is still young and they still have many _plans_.

 

“You haven’t answered my question, Chanyeol. How are you?” Baekhyun throws a sideway glance.

 

“Doing well. But, uhm, I need to go tonight. I mean, something came up, I have to–”

 

Baekhyun’s eyes widen, worry evident in his eyes. “What? What happened? Is there something wrong? Do you need anything? Can I go with you?”

 

“Hey.” He hushes Baekhyun, “Everything’s fine. I just need to check on something.”

 

“Are you sure? Do you want me to go with you?”

 

“Unfortunately you can’t Byun Baek, we need to go somewhere too. After dinner.” Dr. Zhang says, smiling.

 

“Can it not wait tomorrow? I’ll just be with Chanyeol and go back immediately.”

 

The doctor is surprised by his response. Baekhyun did not even ask where they will go.

 

“It’s alright Baekhyun. Be a good boy.” Chanyeol’s heart flutters in his chest, also surprised by Baekhyun’s reply. He and the doctor lock gazes and a meaningful look flows. There are proud smiles on their faces. “I’ll come here immediately. Wait for me in your room. Alright?”

 

_He’s really into you_. Chanyeol sees the doctor mouthing, ending his statement with a wink.

 

“I’ll be back.” Chanyeol rubs Baekhyun’s back, reassuring.

 

“You better be.”

 

_No, as much as I want to go back, you are always the one who keeps finding me first._

***

 

Everything is ready. Thanks to Joonmyeon who reserved the place an hour before this meaningful event in Chanyeol’s life. With the help of Jongin and Sehun, they set up the place. Chanyeol wanted it warm and cozy and so that’s what they did.

 

“We’re leaving, hyung! I hope everything will be alright.” Sehun pats Chanyeol’s shoulder.

 

“I knew it. I knew it would be real this time.” Jongin shakes his hand playfully but his eyes hold sincerity and genuine happiness.

 

“Thanks for your help! I am really grateful. Have a safe trip home.”

 

“You sure you don’t want us here? We could be your cheerleading squad.”

 

“No, thanks, Sehunnie. We don’t want to pressure Baekhyun about this matter. Besides, I’m gonna tell you everything anyway.”

 

“Alright, hyung. Just make sure to tell us all the details. The champagne is ready, by the way.”

 

“Thank you!” Chanyeol’s words are short, proof of how nervous and excited he is.

 

Soon enough, he hears the car speeds away and he is alone once more – but not for long.

 

The room is dim with only fairy lights killing the darkness. Chanyeol’s guitar rests on a comfy couch – he will be needing it later for the grand performance.

 

Along the walls are photos and snapshots of Baekhyun’s stolen moments: Some are from Dr. Zhang; some are photos taken from the fans’ tweets on #ChanBaek; some are pictures they willingly took together; and most are snapshots of the sky – where Baekhyun is very much addicted.

 

His watch displays _10:16 PM_ and the sky is sprinkled with stars blinking and giving him strength and encouragement.

 

He takes his time as he rehearses the things he needs to do and the words he needs to say. He left immediately after dinner to prepare for this. Crossing his fingers, he heaves a deep breath and comforts himself with positive thoughts.

 

_Baekhyun will like this_.

 

_10:28 PM_. A car halts in front of the place Chanyeol is in.

 

“Can you ask for help inside, Baekhyun?” Dr. Zhang’s voice is a little too loud, sounding scripted. Chanyeol chuckles.

 

“Are you freaking kidding me right now? No way!”

 

“I don’t have a load balance, you don’t have your phone. There’s no way we can get out of here.”

 

“Why don’t you go inside?”

 

“And leave you here? No way! Come on, Baek!”

 

“If only I had been with Chanyeol tonight.”

 

Chanyeol hears an irritated sigh. His heart beats a lot faster now, his chest full of anticipation.

 

“Why is it always Chanyeol? Do you really like him now?” Chanyeol wants to laugh at Dr. Zhang and the direction he is going. This is not part of the plan but Chanyeol is now thinking of what to do to repay the doctor’s kindness.

 

“I don’t know if I even have to answer that. Is it not yet obvious?” There was a pause. “Fine, then. For the sake of clarity. Yep. I. Like. Him. So. Much. Now get your freaking car moving! Chanyeol might already be in my room.”

 

“I’m sorry, Baek. Just please. If you could just get help inside, we could go now.”

 

 “Prepare plan B in case no one’s here.”

 

Chanyeol hears steps then a knock then the door knob turning then the sound of the door swinging open then the gush of the wind from the outside.

 

_Baekhyun will come inside. Baekhyun is inside. Baekhyun will see this. Baekhyun will see me_.

 

“Hello? Is anybody here? We just want to ask if you have–“

 

_Baekhyun is here._

 

“Yeol? What the fu–” Baekhyun stops from where he is as his eyes find Chanyeol sitting on the couch, hugging his guitar. They lock gazes for a moment until a smile finds Chanyeol’s lips.

 

Chanyeol starts to strum. Closing his eyes, he sings with his heart.

 

_I believe_

_We shouldn't let the moment pass us by_

_Life's too short_

_We shouldn't wait for the water to run dry_

_Think about it_

_Cause we only have one shot at destiny_

_All I'm asking_

_Could it possibly be you and me?_

“Chanyeol,” he hears Baekhyun’s whispering his name. It takes him all his willpower to remain his eyes shut and continue serenading the boy.

 

_So if you'd still go, I'll understand_

_But would you give me something just to hold on to?_

_And if you'll stay, I'll hold your hand_

_Cause I'm truly, madly, crazily in love with you_

 

Chanyeol repeats the chorus. He would want to repeat it many more times, to avoid Baekhyun’s eyes and any words that will reject his confession. But no, he needs to face this. He needs to man up if he really wants Baekhyun.

 

Looking at the bigger picture, Baekhyun is not the one who will reject their love for each other – _if Baekhyun really loves him_.

 

He opens his eyes and smiles. Chanyeol stands up as he hastily let go of his guitar to catch Baekhyun in his arms. “Hey!” He softly crushes Baekhyun in his hold. “Why are you crying? Don’t you like it?” He asks, though he knows the answer too well.

 

“Why are you doing this to me?”

 

“There are things you do for the people you love.” Chanyeol caresses his back.

 

“So, you love me now?” Baekhyun’s voice is muffled by Chanyeol’s shirt.

 

“I love you. Are you willing to take the risk _with me_?”

 

“I should be the one asking you that.”

 

“Baekhyun, just–”

 

“Yes.”

 

Chanyeol smiles once more. He puts distance between them to look at Baekhyun. There is no hesitation in the boy’s eyes. No regrets, no doubts.

 

“I don’t trust our circumstances. But I trust you.” Baekhyun smiles at him as he snakes his arms around his neck, closing the distance once more.

 

Their lips clash. It is sweet and warm and Chanyeol tightens his hold around Baekhyun’s waist. Their noses brush innocently as their heads move in unison to give the other a better access. Chanyeol’s hands roam around his back while Baekhyun’s tread in his face, cupping it securely, not wanting to let go.

 

“Your sunrise. My sunrise.” Baekhyun smiles in Chanyeol’s lips. Parting a little to inhale a fresh air.

 

“Your sunset, my sunset.” Chanyeol responds, filling in the next line. Baekhyun giggle at the poem they are trying to compose.

 

“Under the eternity of stars.”

 

“Under the same sky.”

*****

 

**PART II**

_We took the risks of love_

_We are both blessed to understand that life is sublime_

_Though, we have different concepts of time_

_We both live for today, but our minds wander_

_Mine in the near future, but him a little farther_

_I told him to breathe, just a little more. He did._

_He told me to stay, just a little longer. I did._

_It was then that we realize that the acts of loving_

_Are the most painful yet the most fulfilling_

_Writ this day,_

_Monday_

_6: 52 Sunrise_

***

 

**YOUTUBE STAR PARK CHANYEOL CONFIRMS RELATIONSHIP WITH A CANCER PATIENT**

Seoul, South Korea – Famous Youtube artist Park Chanyeol is involved in a romantic relationship with Byun Baekhyun who is diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. Park confirmed that they have been dating for three months. Byun has appeared in two of J-SKY videos which sparked their romance with the couple name, ChanBaek.

 

“It was even before our visit to Hosptial Z. We’ve met a couple of times at our favourite spot. Baekhyun is someone whom you will fall in love with the moment you saw him and I’m glad I saw him first.” Park says in an interview. When asked about the health status of Byun, Park answered, “Baekhyun is doing well and I am with him on this battle.”

 

Park also validates that the alleged photos of him and Byun at the seaside taken by Dispatch are authentic. “There’s no point denying it. I am telling the public everything.” Park said.

 

The Park and Byun relationship buzzes J-SKY fans from all around the world. Some have approved of their relationship and showed their full support through their social media accounts. Many of their fans are outraged by the revelation and threaten to boycott the future activities of the group.

***

 

It has been three months since Baekhyun said yes. It has been two months since the rumors spread.

 

A week since Chanyeol announced everything in public.

 

It has been five months since Chanyeol’s car was reconditioned. It has been a week since his Mercedez has been wrecked. Again.

 

Great.

 

“The fans are furious, Chan. I didn’t realize it was this serious,” Jongdae utters on the other line.

 

“I know.” Chanyeol heaves a deep sigh, sandwiching his phone between his neck and shoulders. His hands are busy rummaging the news articles, tearing and crumpling, before throwing them unsuccessfully in his trash bin. His carpet is buried atop the littered papers. “I thought they like him. Why are they like this now?”

 

“Chanyeol,” There is a pause. Jongdae sounds like he is looking for appropriate words but Chanyeol’s heart falls when his friend says, “How’s Baekhyun? Have you talked to him?”

 

“Not yet.” He admits sadly. “I’m worried about him. Jongdae, what should I do? What have I done? My car and every–” Chanyeol leans on his couch, deflated. His hands finally let go of the papers to wipe his face in his vexation.

 

“Your car is the last thing to worry about, Chan. You guys need to talk.”

 

“I don’t even know how to talk or approach? What if he’s mad? What if–”

 

“That’s why you have to talk, alright? Nothing will happen if you continue being like that. What about Baekhyun?”

 

“What about my fans?” Chanyeol counters. A painful tug hurts his heart as he rolls the words. He has not thought of this battle: Baekhyun versus his fans.

 

Jongdae probes, “Who do you love more? Who means more to you?”

 

“Both of them. They mean –” Chanyeol answers a little too quickly but is immediately cut off.

 

“You can’t have the best of both worlds. It’s either you stand with Baekhyun or you break up with him for your fans.”

 

“You know I can’t do that. But my… our fans have been with me since, what? Since that day–”

 

“I know, but who is with you right now?” Jongdae cuts off. “Who wants to be with you right now? I guess you also have to consider that. Besides, we have been under this light for half a decade. You know who our fans are. You know how they fume about anything regarding our personal lives.”

 

“That’s how they show love and support.” Chanyeol explains.

 

“Support– I can understand.  But love? 'Our fans don't own us. Neither do they have the right to dictate who we should love. This is the reality Chanyeol. You have to face it.”

 

“It just bothers me more that Baekhyun is dragged into this. I hate the media! It was so wrong of me to trust them with something so personal. I mean, Baekhyun is not just a cancer patient! Look at the headlines! He has a name! Damn it!” Chanyeol shouts, once more crumpling the next newspaper near him. Anger is bubbling in his chest, boiling his blood.

 

“See? Maybe you can use this as an opportunity to prove those people wrong. Look, Chan, Baekhyun needs you and you need him too! I know you love you fans but you don’t need to compromise everything to please them. They need to understand that you need to have a life too. A life behind the cameras. If they really love you, they will understand.”

 

There is silence once more. Jongdae allows Chanyeol to take his time to understand and assess.

 

It has been a rough two months for the couple. Baekhyun and Chanyeol have not talked to and see each other for the past three days, mainly because of security purposes – or at least that’s what Chanyeol says.

 

Chanyeol does not want to aggravate his fans more but deep inside him, he just doesn’t want to see Baekhyun. Guilt has been devouring him.

 

Baekhyun is being bashed online. Hate comments and rants are being posted on Chanyeol’s social media accounts. Chanyeol’s car has been vandalized with red spray paint and the windshields are shattered. If it were not for the high security of Hospital Z, his fans would have beaten Baekhyun too. There are also attempts to vandalize the walls of the hospital.

 

 “Chanyeol, I’ll be hanging up. I know you have a lot to think about tonight. Call me if you need to but please, talk to him. Baekhyun is waiting.”

 

The phone call ends and Chanyeol feels alone once more. He plops down his bed, surrendering to the evil thoughts about his career and love life that have been plaguing him since he confirmed everything to the public.

 

Some fans showed support and love with comforting messages but the sting of the people in the opposite end of the spectrum is too much.

 

_I can’t believe a guy like you will choose a cancer patient._

_It’s a pity that you pity him._

_I’m stanning you since you had that freaking video and now you give us this?_

_That Baekhyun snake is such a user!!!_

_C’mon everyone. Stop the hate, he’ll gonna die anyway. Soon. Kekekekekek_

 

Tears are stinging Chanyeol’s eyes. The world is so much bigger than the both of us, he thinks. He wonders how much pain Baekhyun is suffering right now because all the hate and the articles issued by the media.

 

Baekhyun is no fan of anything or anyone under the limelight but now he’s in the center stage. All eyes are on him. Throwing him looks of pity, hate, and indifference like rotten tomatoes.

 

A popping sound disturbs him from his thoughts. Grabbing his phone, Chanyeol browses through his screen, stopping at the name of Byun Baekhyun in his messenger list. Baekhyun has been trying to contact him; texting if he is okay, assuring that everything will be alright, apologizing for his outraged fans. Chanyeol has ignored all of it: no return calls, no replies.

 

Chanyeol has no intention of opening the message, for fear that Baekhyun will know he’s been intentionally avoiding him (as if it’s not obvious already), but his phone accidentally slipped, hitting his face. Hard. His eyes widen when their conversation box opens.

 

Baekhyun has sent a voice mail. Knowing that he cannot escape this, Chanyeol presses play.

 

 Baekhyun’s voice comes out a little raspys and congested – Chanyeol assumes it’s because of the quality. His singing voice breaks Chanyeol’s walls and his tears come streaming down like water bursting from a damaged dam.

 

_I’ve been spending some time thinking I’d be alright_

_Don’t know if I can really make it tonight_

_Lying awake in the dark, come down then I start_

_Thinking about you is almost breaking my heart_

_I don’t know where I’ve been wrong or what’s going on?_

_Baby, I feel like our love’s lost tonight_

_Should I stay, should I go? Well, I really don’t know_

_Lately I’ve been missing you so_

_Baby, you don’t understand our love’s like lost_

_But you’re still holding my hand_

_And then you walk away_

_Just tonight I want you to stay_

 

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol gasps, clamping his mouth with his palm, unable to contain his tears. “Baekhyun, I’m sorry.” He wails. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” The storm inside his chest continues surging. His breaths are as shallow as the shore but the pain inside him is as deep as the ocean.

 

He is about to type everything he has been keeping inside. To assure himself. To assure Baekhyun. Their love is not lost like what he thinks. But Baekhyun beats him to it. Another voice message is sent.

 

_You’re turning me on_

_You turn me around_

_You turn my whole world upside down_

_You’re turning me on_

_You turn me around_

_You turn my whole world upside down_

 

Then Baekhyun exhales his name, “ _Chanyeol_.” His voice is hoarse and his nose is congested. There is another sniff and the pause is longer this time before he speaks, “ _I know things are tough right now and I know you’ve been avoiding me. But I just want you to know that I’m still here. I understand if you choose your fans, over some… some cancer patient_.” Chanyeol hears him laugh, a fake one, and it breaks him more. “ _I respect your decision and if this will make you happy, you have my support until the end. I love you. I’m sorry._ ”

 

Chanyeol lets the words sink inside him, before composing himself. He is about to type when he decided against it. Baekhyun might also yearn for his voice. He presses the voice message button and records.

 

“Baekhyun, I know things are tough right now and I know I’ve been avoiding you. I just want you to know that I’m still here.” He sniffs and sobs, not bothering anymore that Baekhyun can hear him crying, “Our love is not lost, but I just need time to think. I’m not choosing a cancer patient over my fans. I’m choosing Baekhyun over anyone in the world. I love you. I’m sorry.”

 

Chanyeol waits for a good five minutes before Baekhyun replies, this time, a plain chat saying, I miss you so much. To which he replies, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Let me explain. Let’s fix this together. I love you.”

 

It’s kind of sweet to have its little stars to watch over me. I feel like it’s making sure I’m okay. He consoles himself with Baekhyun’s words.

 

But when his gazes take him outside his window, he blinks several times before he realizes there were no stars. Dark clouds hover in the dark night. The sky is a perfect picture of beauty before the madness. The calm before the calamity.

 

The clock strikes 04:02 AM when a reply comes, _I love you more, Park Chanyeol. Take the risk with me._

 

The sun should be shining soon but the storm is here. Baekhyun has not slept. So does Chanyeol.

 

“It looks like we are on our own, Baekhyun. You and me.”

***

 

Chanyeol arrives at exactly nine o’clock. As much as he wants to rush to Baekhyun’s room, he feels like he owes Dr. Zhang a sincere apology for everything that has been happening. His steps take him to the doctor’s office. Surprisingly, he meets Nurse Minseok along the way, looking agitated at the sight of him.

 

The first thunder this morning claps and everyone is momentarily stupefied. There are gasps and shouts of shocked. No sunlight triumphs over the dark clouds.

 

“What are you doing here?” The nurse asks after recovering. There is a hint of tension in his tone.

 

“I know. I’m sorry. For everything, I was just… hoping if I could see Baek–”

 

“No, it’s not that.” Minseok ushers him to the side, voice low, his eyes are wary. “I don’t think today is a good time. I mean, surely Baekhyun will understand if you come, maybe tomorrow?”

 

“What? What are you talking about? Is there something wrong?” Chanyeol panics, eyes widening with alarm.

 

“Look, I can’t be the one to break this to you. Go to the café, drink some coffee first. Turn right at the end of that corridor. Okay? I’ll talk to Dr. Zhang first. We’ll get to you. Wait there.” Minseok is out of sight in a matter of seconds.

 

“Wait! What happened to Baekhyun? Tell me!” Chanyeol calls out but no answer came.

 

Chanyeol freezes and his heart is in his throat. What happened to Baekhyun?

 

Another brutal thunder claps, stunning the people once more but it is the one that brought Chanyeol back to reality. He immediately grabs his phone and texts:

 

_To: Baekhyun Byun_

_Good morning, melody! I’m already here. Just having my breakfast in the café. I’ll be there in a while. I love you!_

_Sent 10 02 2017 Monday 9:21 AM_

 

If this is their way of punishing Chanyeol for the series of unfortunate events – to ban him from seeing Baekhyun, he is very much willing to obey them to redeem himself. But he wants to know that everything is alright with him, that he is, at least, physically fine. Chanyeol retreats to the café Minseok is talking about.

 

He tries to be cheery in finishing his Latte and blueberry cheesecake slice. But no matter how much he gulps down, the lump is just there. He fishes his phone to text Baekhyun again, just to assure he is alright.

 

Chanyeol hears a ‘Hi’ before a tray is slammed lightly in his table.

 

A tall, Chinese-looking guy sits across him, smirking. There is a look of conceit in his eyes. Chanyeol straightens his back and hardens his look. He is not the type to put up with these jokes but he senses something airy in the guy’s countenance and it is as strong as the winds outside. A different kind of thunder is striking Chanyeol menacingly.

 

“You’re Park Chanyeol, aren’t you?” The guy speaks, sounding Chinese. He looks at Chanyeol straight in the eyes, his smirk is still fixed in his lips.

 

“Yup and I don’t think you’re here for an autograph.” He brings his cup to his lips, without also blinking an eye. The staring contest begins.

 

“I’m surprised you don’t know me.” The guy utters flatly.

 

Chanyeol’s voice is low but threatening. “I’ve been busy with a lot of things so I can’t really care much about who you are.”

 

“I’m Xiao Lu Han.” He smiles, revealing his dear eyes. He looks so innocent and pure. But Chanyeol restrained himself. A demon was once an angel. “I know you’ve been busy with a lot of things. Like ruining lives and hurting people? The news says it all.”

 

“Are you one of the paparazzi? I’m surprised they let you in.” Chanyeol unlocks his phone to call the doctor. “No worries, you won’t be here for long.”

 

“Life is full of surprises. Are you ready for another?” His smirk looks more devilish, his eyes are challenging. “Yixing knows me. So you are free to assume that Baekhyun knows me too.”

 

Chanyeol stops, phone in his hand. His heart jumping at the mention of Baekhyun’s name. Although struggling, he manages to sound apathetic. “I hate to break this to you but I really don’t care. I me–”

 

“Oh no! I hate to break this to you but you should. And you will.”

 

“Chanyeol!” Minsoek’s aggravated bellow echoes in the café. People stare at the nurse with an alarming look. Soon enough, Dr. Zhang is behind him. They approach their table hurriedly, eyes tinted with worry.

 

“Is Baekhyun alright? Did something happen?” Chanyeol asks the two. From their expression, definitely something is not well. “Tell me!”

 

“I can’t believe you have the audacity to worry about him. After everything?” Lu Han stands up, dusting off his pants. He smiles brightly at the doctor. “Good old friends! I miss you so much.”

 

“Lu Han, watch your words.” Dr. Zhang cautions him.

 

But the Chinese guy shrugs it off, “I’m sure that’s your way of saying you miss me too.” He smiles. “I’ll be going now. I will keep in touch.”

 

“Don’t go near him, I’m telling you.”

 

“He’ll be fine, doctor. I swear. Don’t you trust me anymore?” He puts a smirk again before exiting the café.

 

Chanyeol has the faintest idea of their context but he can’t help himself but to boil in rage. If he is correct, that Lu Han guy was the one who left Baekhyun. But he has yet to confirm things. “I don’t like him.”

 

Dr. Zhang agrees, “I don’t like him, either.”

***

 

“Then what is he doing here? Does Baekhyun wants to him?” Chanyeol overthinks loudly, almost yelling. Pacing around the doctor’s office with an uncomfortable look. He itches to see Baekhyun but itches more to know something.

 

Another thunder claps. A flash of light breaking the still-bright sky.

 

“Why is it not raining yet?” Minseok asks, more to himself. Chanyeol wants to laugh at how Minseok worries about the rain but he can’t afford to even smile. Not yet. Not now.

 

“I’m surprised Baekhyun did not tell you about it.” Dr. Zhang speaks.

 

 “He did. But not in full details. I wouldn’t want to talk about it either.” Chanyeol admits.

 

Chanyeol has just confirmed that Lu Han is Baekhyun’s best friend who left him when they found out he has Leukemia. The worse of it is that Lu Han is Baekhyun’s first love. They had also made promises, as best friends and as lovers. Chanyeol can’t help himself but to fume over Lu Han’s grand comeback.

 

Damn it! Of all time why does it have to be now? Chanyeol curses.

 

“We really don’t know why he’s here or if it’s Baekhyun he wants to see.” Minseok admits. “That’s why I was surprised I saw you here. I don’t think it’s a good idea if you two meet.”

 

“But is Baekhyun fine? I mean, about his condition?” Chanyeol queries, speaking a little too fast. The look of agitation is in his pale face.

 

The doctor explains in a calm manner, to somehow calm himself down, “Baekhyun is deeply affected by all these, Chanyeol. His state of mind affects his physical condition, I hope you understand that. Lu Han and Baekhyun haven’t met yet, I am sure of that.”

 

“What if Baekhyun calls him? What if Baekhyun really wants to see him? I mean, with everything that has been happening lately. The media, my fans?” Chanyeol heaves a deep sigh, sounding more lifeless than ever.

 

“We don’t know that yet. Believe me, Baekhyun is preoccupied with the issues right now, I don’t think he needs another issue.”

 

“What if he wants comfort? I wasn’t there. I wasn’t talking to him, replying or calling. What if he’s–”

 

“Baekhyun is not that kind of person.” The doctor cuts him off with a tone of finality.  “Surely by now, you understand how he despises hurting the people he loves. Baekhyun won’t do that to you.”

 

Chanyeol slumps on the couch, burying his face in his hands, thinking hard. “What should I do?” He blurts the question for the nth time since his confirmation to the public.

 

But the answer he receives has not changed. “Talk to him. Baekhyun is waiting.”

***

 

As soon as the elevator opens, he sprints toward Baekhyun’s room. Thankful for his legs that it only took him ten strides before he is in front, ready to knock, ready to enter.

 

But Chanyeol’s heart stops at the sight. Peeping in the small window of Baekhyun’s door, he could see them.

 

Baekhyun is crying once more. His eyes are red and swollen. He looks small; his head is down and tears are streaming freely in his face. He is biting his lip, hugging himself as if he can never find comfort in anyone else anymore.

 

Lu Han’s back is facing Chanyeol’s line of sight. Though he does not hear what Lu Han says, Chanyeol understands what’s happening. What could be happening.

 

It will start with apologies. Lu Han will ask for forgiveness and Baekhyun will forgive. It has always been like that; to those who were once best friends, who were once lovers.

 

It is a matter of time. It has always been a matter of time for Chanyeol and Baekhyun. But it seems that, this time, Lu Han beats Chanyeol to it.

 

It was only a matter of time, Chanyeol repeats to himself. If I only got here sooner.

 

His steps retreat from the door. As much as he wants to go inside, he cannot bear the sight of Baekhyun breaking in front of him. He cannot bear the fact that Baekhyun might just need to choose between him and his best friend. Who is he compared to him?

 

His paces are slow and painful. But just as he takes another step near the next door, he hears a loud crack then a crash. He rushes once more toward Baekhyun’s room. More livid that he was before, Chanyeol grabs the knob but it is locked.

 

“Baekhyun!” He shouts as he bangs the door. The nurses from the stations are startled. Looking alarmed, they start doing phone calls.

 

“Sir, what’s happening?” A nurse approaches him, a look of apprehension in his contained face.

 

“I need a key. Give me the key! Go!” Chanyeol barks.

 

From the inside, Chanyeol can see them. Baekhyun pushes Lu Han away before slapping him hard in the face. He is screaming now.

 

“Baekhyun! Open the door!” But the people inside pay him no heed.

 

Lu Han grabs Baekhyun’s wrist painfully and pins him to the wall. Baekhyun’s back hitting the concrete. Hard. He struggles to let go but Lu Han’s hold is too strong. The next seconds are Chanyeol’s worst. Baekhyun’s eyes are pleading though they are red and wet. Lu Han dips his head down to crash his lips against him.

 

Maybe it is because of the tiredness, or maybe all of the issues, or all the bottled feelings he doesn’t say, or all the frustration from his fans. Maybe it is because of adrenaline rush that when Chanyeol kicks hard, the knob gives in and the door shakes away from its hinges and swings open.

 

Chanyeol does not wait a moment longer. He grabs Lu Han by the shoulder with such force that the guy faces him against his will. The next second, he is balling his other fist and hitting Lu Han straight in the face. The guy staggers back and hits the study table. All the notebooks, pens and papers scatter.

 

“How dare you touch him!” He throws another blow and Lu Han lands on the shelf. Books fall on his head.

 

“Stop! Stop! Please! That’s enough.” Baekhyun wails, his voice sounds too tired and helpless. Weak.

 

“Get out! Don’t you ever go near Baekhyun again!” Chanyeol shouts. His voice cracks but no one can miss the threats behind his words. His breaths are deep and heavy and threatening. His fists are still balled, ready to maim.

 

Lu Han does not say another word. Wiping his bleeding lips, a look of pain and pity flash in his eyes.

 

Baekhyun literally breaks down, kneeling on the floor, hugging himself like he carries the weight of the universe. It’s just too much, his eyes screams. Streams of tears are never leaving in his face. Chanyeol can hear the difficulty in his breathing. It is shallow and weak. The rain falls hard, heavy raindrops splash against the window panes.

 

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol kneels, finding his eyes. “Baekhyun, I’m sorry.” He gathers him in his arms to which Baekhyun surrenders willingly. Like a child yearning for a cradle, for a lullaby. “I’m here. Everything will be alright.”

 

Baekhyun tightens his hold around Chanyeol’s waist. Burying his face on his shoulder, Baekhyun permits all his tears to fall. His whispers and loud sobs are muffled by Chanyeol’s shirt.

 

Chanyeol continues rubbing his back, soothing. Reassuring that he’s here and he will not go. He continues listening to him whispering his name and his loud sobs until there is no sound anymore.

 

“Baekhyun?” He asks, shaking the boy a little.

 

But the boy’s reply is the unclasping of his arms, his body going limp against Chanyeol’s body. Baekhyun’s head slides on Chanyeol’s shoulder, his eyes closed shut. There is blood oozing from his nose. If it is not for Chanyeol’s careful hold on his body, he would have slumped down on the floor already.

 

Chanyeol freezes until his mind tells him there is no more time to lose. He wrecks Baekhyun’s shirt so he can put his shaking hand just above the boy’s heart. It’s still beating. But it’s weak.

 

“Baekhyun! Baekhyun! Hey! Wake up!” Chanyeol is not aware of his tears falling down, he shouts and he pleads. His hands rubbing his face, almost shaking it but there is no response. He reaches for the red button near his bed and the alarm sounds. “Just a little longer, Baekhyun. Please, just a little longer.” He hugs Baekhyun’s body closer, his lips touching the crown of his head.

***

 

The bleeping of an apparatus and the rain are the only one breaking the silence inside the room. The only things tying Chanyeol to reality. Baekhyun has been moved to the intensive care unit to monitor his status. It has been four hours since he passed out.

 

It is already two in the afternoon but Chanyeol does not feel hunger at all. He keeps himself planted on the chair beside Baekhyun’s bed; watching, monitoring, waiting, apologizing.

 

Baekhyun’s face is pale. A nose cannula is attached to him, hoses outlining his features; his cheekbones, his jaw. Another needle poking a vein in the back of his palm, then another connecting to an IV. Occasionally, a small amount of blood will ooze from his nose and Chanyeol will freeze to death before his mind tells him to push the red button.

 

“Chanyeol,” If it is not for the doctor’s hand on his shoulder, he wouldn’t have known someone is there. His mind is wandering and the doctor’s voice is far away, drowned by his thoughts and the rain. “I have a called for a meeting. The other doctors will be here in half an hour. I need to consult their expertise. Baek… Baekhyun’s–”

 

Chanyeol does not know if the doctor waits for his reply or if he just cannot find the words to say. He remains silent.

 

“Look, Chanyeol. You have to understand. CLL is a wait and see cancer. Wait for the symptoms and see what infections and complications will arise. CLL is not the killer.”

 

“Then what is?” Chanyeol asks. He wants his tone to be cold, to be sharp and biting. But he is too deranged that his voice comes out lifeless. His eyes are fixed on the survivor lying on the bed in front of him.

 

“Infections. We are monitoring his spleen and liver but his kidney is wearing off already. He has Acute Nephritis. Glomerulonephritis to be more specific.” The doctor explains as if medical terms would help Chanyeol understand. “There are lumps in his groin and his platelets are low.”

 

“Chemotherapy? They say that’s the answer to all cancers. This is a high class hospital you are running, doctor. I don’t think you should sound as hopeless as you are now.”

 

“I wanted to do that. But it will only weaken him further. Chemotherapy destroys both cancer and healthy cells. If we continue with our chemo, kidney failure, multiple organ failure.”

 

Chanyeol does not respond but his eyes screams. His tears speak every hurt and despair inside him. It feels like their enemies are on both sides and their losing sight of their fortress.

 

“His spleen is in danger of enlarging. Abnormal bruises are on his body which suggests the latter stage of CLL. He already has anaemia. I want to do –” The doctor’s voice breaks. “Do a bone marrow transplant to address CLL but his body is so weak. There is low chance of success.” He sniffs and Chanyeol does not need to turn his head around to know that the doctor is crying.

 

“What can we do?” Chanyeol whispers against his contained sobs. “There should be something. Anything.”

 

“It’s now just a matter of time.”

 

It has always been.

***

 

The clock strikes 4 PM. Chanyeol is holding Baekhyun’s hand as he laughs ridiculously at how time flies so fast. One moment it was just nine in the morning and it’s just coffee and cakes then with one blink seven hours have passed and Baekhyun is still unconscious.

 

No, scratch that – One moment it was just him in the bay area wanting peace so he could compose and it’s just his guitar, the sea, the sunset. Then it becomes just him and Baekhyun and books and music. In one blink, several days have passed and Baekhyun is still being knocked out by life.

 

Chanyeol has always been wary of the time. He wanted everything to be on schedule because for him, time is money. Since he met Baekhyun, he still wants everything to be on schedule because it dawns on him that there is no much time to waste. It was then that he understood: Time is gold.

 

Numbered days. Baekhyun’s question has been ringing in Chanyeol’s ears all afternoon. Will I ever get to wake up the next morning?

 

He continues caressing Baekhyun’s hand with the hope to wake him up when a knock on the door came. Chanyeol hears his voice but is too tired to even speak.

 

“I just want to see my best friend for the last time.” Lu Han says, with a tone of remorse and melancholy.

 

Thinking it is about Baekhyun’s days, Lu Han’s last two words bang Chanyeol like a gunshot. “Get out.”

 

“I know you’re mad and you have the right to. But I have to come back to China tomorrow. And after what happened, I don’t think Baek will ever want to see me again.”

 

“I’m glad you get the logic. Now, get out!”

 

“But Baekhyun is still my best friend. He’s still my–”

 

Chanyeol cuts him off, scared that he might not be able to bear his next words. “You stopped being the best friend when you left him.” His voice is low and dangerous.

 

There is a pause before Lu Han says with a repentant tone, “So I guess he told you.”

 

“Everything.”

 

“I want to explain that’s why I came back. I need to talk to him.”

 

“You had the chance. You have all the chances in the world! You wasted them all and you wasted your chance this morning. You’re the reason he’s here.”

 

A white flash of light cuts through the dark sky then a deafening thunder came after. There is a movement in Baekhyun’s hand under Chanyeol’s touch and he freezes. They hear a groan as Baekhyun struggles to flutter his eyes open. Unaware of his needles poking the back of his palm, he places his hand in his forehead, rubbing.

 

“Where am I? Fudge it! My head! Ouch!”

 

“Baekhyun? Baekhyun! Can you hear me?” Chanyeol stands up to look at his face fully. He reaches for the red button to alarm the nurses at the stations.

 

“Can you not shout please? What time is it and –” Baekhyun looks irritated and surprised at the hoses and cords attached to his body. “What’s this? What happened?” His eyes wander in the room before stopping at Chanyeol then at Lu Han then back to Chanyeol.

 

“Baekhyun?” Lu Han inches forward to his bed.

 

“Please tell me I’m dreaming.” Both of them do not know whether it’s a jest or something more. But when another thunder booms and frustration and glum spread over Baekhyun’s face, they cannot deny that Baekhyun has remembered everything.

 

The nurses come after a few good minutes with equipment and they are ushered outside to wait. The wails of the storm is much louder in the halls. Chanyeol surprises himself with the realization of the sameness between the sky and his heart.

 

“I’m sorry.” Lu Han speaks. The ache from his bruised lip is evident in his voice. They sit side by side near the nurses’ station. Chanyeol’s head leans on the wall, Lu Han is crouching forward, head down, his fingers interlaced.

 

“Tell that to him.”

 

Lu Han ignores Chanyeol and continues, “I went to China because of my father. Baekhyun knows we’re not in good terms. Even more so when my Dad found out about us.”

 

Chanyeol’s heart wrenches painfully inside him but he remains tight lipped, letting silence cloak him.

 

“I told my Dad I couldn’t leave because Baekhyun is sick and he needs me.” Lu Han explains. “I thought it would change his mind, be a little more understanding. He took this opportunity, turning the tables around. He is the one funding him in this hospital.”

 

“What? What do you–” Chanyeol’s jaw drops. Another thunder roars, a flash of white light cracking the dark sky. There is only one question playing in his mind. “Does… does Baekhyun know?”

 

“No.” Lu Han says, sniffing and wiping his nose. “Only Yixing. Baekhyun thinks everything is for free and his work here as a writer pays everything.”

 

“Why are you here? Why did you come back? Have you ever thought of how much he–”

 

“I saw the news.” Lu Han admits, “My Dad does not know about this trip and soon enough he will. He won’t be happy about this.”

 

“Why did you come back?” Chanyeol probes again, unsatisfied with the previous answer.

 

“We made a promise that it’s just me and him. Against my Dad. Against the world. I left him and I will forever regret that day. But I have kept my promises: just me and him. Then I saw the news. You confirming your relationship with him.”

 

Chanyeol does not bother hiding the guilt, the pain, and the despondency. “I’m sorry. For my fans and the media but I will wor–”

 

“I don’t care about the media or even your psychotic fans. I am talking about you and Baekhyun and our promises.”

 

Chanyeol’s lids become teary once more at the last two words. Lu Han seems to know where to aim and fire the bullets.

 

“I have always seen him as the most beautiful flower. He has always been since we were young. I like him. So much.”

 

Chanyeol replies with a sniff. “He is my most beautiful flower. He has always been since the day we met. I love him. So much.”

 

The battles are here and they come in great waves. But life, indeed, is not that unfair. Both Chanyeol and Baekhyun are given the liberty to choose: for Chanyeol, it’s between Baekhyun and his fans; for Baekhyun, it’s between Chanyeol and Lu Han. They both know what to choose to cease the fire but it would mean retreat. But if their choice is the other, the battle continues.

 

“I hate to say this but I’m not backing down. I am still his best friend and we have shared so many things compared to you. I’m afraid Baekhyun will have to choose.” Lu Han taunts, with a sad but determined voice.

 

“Mr. Park Chanyeol?” A nurse comes to them with a wide smile on her face. “Mr. Byun Baekhyun is asking for you. You can come and see him now.”

 

“Baekhyun will have to choose.” Chanyeol mirrors Lu Han’s words as he stands up. “And I think he just did.” Without giving the guy another glance, he dusts his pants off and walks away.

 

Chanyeol might sound confident and triumphant but his heart is heavy with painful thuds as he traces his steps back to Baekhyun’s room. Baekhyun will have to choose and maybe he already did but Chanyeol does not know who.

 

“Hey!” A smile breaks the moment Baekhyun sees him. He takes another bite of his apple, looking blissful. Hoses on his face are removed already. “Sorry you have to wait long. Check-ups here and there. You know, the usual stuff. It’s tiring.” He rants as he sighs but the smile is never leaving his lips. “Have you eaten?” He extends his arm with dangling cords.

 

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol breathes in. It can be the most mundane thing to witness. Watching the love of your life, sitting in the bed and eating. It’s just a mundane thing to offer an apple then rant. It’s just a mundane thing if it were not for the medical apparatus, the hoses and needles connected in his body. “Ho-how are you? Are you okay?”

 

Chanyeol does not dare take another step. His back almost touching the door he just locked. He feels his weak knees, ready to crumble if he moves a little more. His heart is in his throat since this morning, as if he awaits for the verdict.

 

Is it me or him?

 

“Do you want to talk?” Baekhyun places his apple on the bedside table. His lips fall as he assesses Chanyeol’s reaction.

 

“Lu Han is still outside. He says he wants to talk to you.” Chanyeol reports, as if it’s just a mundane thing.

 

Baekhyun throws him a question. “Do you want to? Do you want me to talk to him?”

 

“Why are you asking me?”

 

“I don’t want to hurt you even more. Chanyeol, please.” He almost breaks at Baekhyun’s pleading. Another smile appears on his lips but his eyes are beyond sad. This is not what Chanyeol meant but he allows the boy to release everything. “You told me we are going to fix this? I’m sorry if I messed up. If your fans hate you because of me. I wish they’d understand. I wish I don’t have this… cancer. And –” Baekhyun buries his face on his palm.

 

Chanyeol does not know how he got to Baekhyun in a matter of seconds. He gathers the boy in his arms for the second time today, planting his head on the crook of his neck.

 

“Chanyeol I’m sorry.” The lightning strikes once more but it did not drown Baekhyun’s words. “I’m sorry. But I need you. I need you. Please don’t leave.” He begs in between his sobs. “If… if pity is all you have for me, if pity will make you stay, Chanyeol, by all means… I–”

 

“Baekhyun! Sssh. I can’t even put everything I feel in words right now. But if you have to understand something, it’s this... Look at me.” Chanyeol unclasps their arms. He puts a finger at Baekhyun’s chin and tilts his head, capturing his eyes. “I’m not leaving you. I’m not leaving.”

 

The rain starts to fall, like their tears. Chanyeol feels like they will never experience drought, it will always be raining. The sun may shine outside but the storm will always be inside them, destroying every ray of hope and love.

 

“I don’t want to be alone.” Baekhyun whispers, his eyes are red and wet but they never dare look away from Chanyeol’s eyes. His balled fists holding Chanyeol’s shirt are weak but determined. “Please, stay. I need you.”

 

“I’m here.” Chanyeol does not know if it is convincing enough to ease their hearts but he gives every assurance Baekhyun needs when he dips his head low to meet his lips. The touches make Chanyeol’s spine shiver.

 

He pushes Baekhyun gently osn the bed so the boy’s back lies flatly. Chanyeol is still half sitting, his feet planted still on the marbled floor but his upper body leaning against Baekhyun’s, cornering him. The thunder sounds very far away as he continues kissing Baekhyun’s pain away, rummaging his mouth, his face, his neck, his ears.

 

With all caution, Chanyeol closes his fingers around the boy’s wrists and raise them up, pinning him down and rendering him helpless. He continues to intoxicate himself with Baekhyun’s scent and his sounds of both pain and pleasure. Baekhyun’s skin is white and smooth and soft and fragile under Chanyeol’s lips.

 

The rain continues to fall harder but their surroundings melt. It is only them and the sound of their clashing lips and their moans and sobs. It is only them and the tears wetting their face. For a moment, it’s only them. Just them.

 

Baekhyun’s grasps in Chanyeol’s body is firm and Chanyeol is determined to make them forget everything. Even if it is just temporary. He shuts off their minds as his hand explores Baekhyun’s territory. His hand is searing against Baekhyun’s skin, carefully massaging every part.

 

There is another thunder but in Chanyeol’s ears, Baekhyun’s moan resonates louder in his body when his hand flies under his hospital dress. He palms his tummy then up to his chest, fingers pressing onto his nipple then to the other.

 

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun’s voice comes out as a broken whimper.

 

“I think we’ll be needing to adjust the aircon temperature if we want to get you naked.” Chanyeol whispers in his neck as he continues to massage Baekhyun’s front.

 

Baekhyun unclasps one arm and reach out for something in his bedside table. Soon, Chanyeol hears a beep sounds from the air conditioning unit. He smiles against Baekhyun’s skin. “I can’t believe we are doing this. Ah.” Baekhyun has his arms wrapped on Chanyeol’s body again, also exploring his back, pressing his delicate fingers with enough pressure to ignite Chanyeol.

 

Teasing, Chanyeol stops and raises his head up to look him straight in the eyes. His foot yanks the other one to get off from his shoes. “Somebody once told me not to destroy the beauty of marriage.” He smirks.

 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “I’m tired of this Yeol, can we just–”

 

“But he also told me,” Chanyeol cuts off as he lowers his head once more and kisses the tip of his nose then his lips. He licks the corners of his mouth. “We become bold when we’re running out of time.”

 

Chanyeol hoists himself up and humps over Baekhyun’s small frame. “Tell me if you’re cold.” He orders then lifts the hem of his hospital dress. Baekhyun’s length springs, wanting freedom from the clothing caging it. Chanyeol runs his hand over it, teasing. One swift touch and Baekhyun’s back arches with a pleasurable moan that snaps Chanyeol’s sef-control.

 

“Dang this hose!” He curses when he struggles to get him out of his clothes because of the cords attached to Baekhyun’s hands.

 

“You can always rip them apart. I’m sure Yixing would understand.” Baekhyun wriggles his eyebrows, laughing lightly amidst all the tension building them up.

 

Chanyeol once more melts at the sight. How can someone dying be and sound as alive as this. “I love you, Baekhyun.”

 

“Come here,” Baekhyun grabs his head to claim his lips. They successfully ripped off one of the sleeves and it is free from the dangles of the hoses. The hospital dress lays abandoned on the floor.

 

 “We have to be careful though. Dr. Zhang won’t forgive me if I rip one of these cords.” Chanyeol dives in once more. Feasting over Baekhyun’s skin. He starts again with his neck, kissing his pulse points with such passion and enough force for Baekhyun to release another sigh.

 

His hands traverses first then his lips followed. Whatever his hands touch, his lips will mark also. He will make Baekhyun forget everything. His mouth goes over his chest, gently sucking every skin there is then to his nipple while his hand palms the other. Baekhyun arches his back and he pulls Chanyeol’s hair at the gesture.

 

“Yeol,” Baekhyun whimpers once more.

 

“This storm is cruel. It will rain for days or maybe for months.” Chanyeol says as his tongue savour Baekhyun’s vulnerability. “But we will create our own sunshine. We have to. Me and you.”

 

Then he sits on his heels, spreading Baekhyun’s legs. He undresses himself and discards every piece of clothing separating him from Baekhyun. His hands massages Baekhyun’s tummy until he reaches his groin. A thin patch of hair around his length. Baekhyun’s eyes are at the back of his head, his mouth gaping open. His lips reddened at their kisses. For a moment, Chanyeol just continues this searing pleasure of touching him and admiring the sight of Baekhyun losing his mind.

 

His fingers curl over Baekhyun’s manhood and the boy literally screams. He twists then starts to move up and down until he finds his rhythm. Baekhyun’s face is flaming red and he bites his lips to kill any more sounds of pleasure trying to escape his lips. Chanyeol arouses himself at the sight. His other hand continues to palm his inner thighs.

 

“Chanyeol! Nearly there.” Baekhyun announces as he wails. There is a faint white oozing from his slit.

 

For a moment, Chanyeol debates whether he will go inside or Baekhyun will be the one to go inside him. Afraid of his own length and Baekhyun abnormally bruising, he chooses the latter. Soon, his mouth finds its way there, sucking, licking, and moving up and down. To please Baekhyun, to wreck him, to lubricate him so the intrusion won’t be too much.

 

“Ah, Chanyeol!” Baekhyun’s hold on Chanyeol’s hair tightens. The boy continues to scream and Chanyeol swears that even his moans are melodic and beautiful. His pitch hitting Chanyeol right in his core.

 

Then Chanyeol positions himself, kneeling just above Baekhyun’s manhood. He drops himself slowly. Both pleasurable and violent sparks are sent as it touches his rim, rattling his whole body, his eyes shutting close. His hands are on the either side of Baekhyun’s head, trembling. He willingly allows Baekhyun to brand him.

 

“Baekhyun,” he moans his name. Chanyeol feels Baekhyun deep down as he lowers himself more. He struggles to inhale and exhale as his insides triumphantly welcome Baekhyun’s length. The feeling is blistering. The kind of scorch that will reach and melt the heart. The kind of hot that stirs up passion and desire. To have him in his numbered days.

 

When he is sure of their capacity, he starts to move his hips. Rounding and grinding and Baekhyun is nothing more than whimpers and sobs and all sounds of pleasure. Chanyeol inhales his breaths as he starts to pound, rising then lowering his hips until they find their rhythms and Baekhyun moves harmoniously with him.

 

Their sounds triumph against the wails of the storm and their heat victors over the coldness of the rain and the violence of the winds.

 

Another thunder cracks when their bodies go rigid but Baekhyun is the first to snap. He climaxes and his release is warm against Chanyeol’s insides. Then it is him, his spits scatter on Baekhyun’s stomach. Baekhyun smiles at him before gathering him in his arms once more.

 

Chanyeol lies atop him carefully, afraid that he might crush him. They let another moments pass before Chanyeol gathers his strength back and pull out. They both wince at the contact of their searing skins.

 

“Don’t go.” Baekhyun murmurs, his voice still broken and a little dreamy. He clasps his arms around Chanyeol’s body on top of him, refusing to let go.

 

“I won’t.” Chanyeol replies but he gets out of his touch. Baekhyun tenses as he watches him picking up his clothes and put them on.

 

“Hey! Where are you going?” There’s a hint of worry and despair in his voice.

 

“Where’s your drawer?”

 

“Chanyeol? What? What are you doing?”

 

He continues searching for something on his drawer. When he gets what he wants, he goes back to the bed. “Here. Wear this. As much as I want you naked all day, I can’t have you catch cold or whatever you can catch. I ought to protect you from everything and everyone including bacteria and viruses.” He kisses the top of his head and lies down again.

 

“You’re weird, Park Chanyeol.” He laughs lightly as he wears shirt and an undergarment. His face is radiant and he looks blissful.

 

“Says someone who loves the weirdo.” He fires back. “Now, come here.” He extends his arm and offers it as a pillow to which Baekhyun obliges willingly. He lies down, head on Chanyeol’s shoulder, securing him as he snakes his arms around his torso. His other hand reaches for the blanket and tucks them both in.

 

“I love you, Park Chanyeol.” Baekhyun voices out. He looks at him in the eyes and smiles. “I’m so grateful that I’ve reached this far. This… well, that was mind blowing. For first timers like us.”

 

“It was nerve-wrecking for me. I never thought there’s pleasure in that spot.” Chanyeol reddens as he admits. “Was it something like you read before?”

 

Baekhyun chuckles, pinching his cheeks. “What? The sex part?”

 

Chanyeol cringes at how easily Baekhyun rolls off the word. He clears his throat as he tightens his hold on Baekhyun, “I would like to think that it’s love-making.”

 

Baekhyun smiles. “Love-making it is. Well,” He searches for the word as he wanders his gaze, unable to hold Chanyeol’s eyes. “It was nothing like I’ve read before. I don’t read romantic novels. I would like to experience that outside the pages of a book.”

 

Chanyeol kisses the tip of his nose. “Alright, then. Sleep now. Don’t think about anything. The sun will shine soon.”

 

The room is silenced by the rain once more. Chanyeol continues to rub his back to lull him to sleep. Even though unassured if Baekhyun is still awake, he starts to sing.

 

_When I see your smile_

_Tears run down my face I can't replace_

_And now that I'm strong I have figured out_

_How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul_

_And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one_

 

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

 

Chanyeol stops when Baekhyun shifts under his touch. Then he hears a hum. “Baekhyun? You’re still awake?” Baekhyun’s response is the next lines of the song.

 

_It's okay. It's okay. It's okay._

_Seasons are changing and waves are crashing_

_And stars are falling all for us_

_Days grow longer and nights grow shorter_

_I can show you I'll be the one_

 

“I told you to sleep.” Chanyeol combs his hair. More strands are clinging to his fingers. He eyes Baekhyun’s head warily. His hair has thinned drastically and there are visible patches of scalp. It reminds him of the time. Again.

 

When?

 

“Hey.” Baekhyun pokes his side. “Sing the next lines. Come on! We haven’t jammed for a while. You were avoiding me.” He pouts.

 

“I’m sorry, Baekhyun. For everything. I won’t do it again. I promise.” Chanyeol smiles but his eyes are sad.

 

He kisses Chanyeol at the corner of his mouth. “No worries. I love you still. Now sing. I miss your voice.”

 

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

 

_'Cause you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart_

_Please don't throw that away_

_'Cause I'm here for you_

_Please –_

 

Chanyeol is cut off when Baekhyun steals the line. His heart melts as he understands why Baekhyun did and he feels a pang as he delivers the message of the song soulfully. Baekhyun puts the weight of his pleading in the words.

 

_Please don't walk away and_

_Please tell me you'll stay_

 

Even lying down, his melodic voice reverberates, drowning the noise outside and caging them in their own worlds. In their own little time together. Baekhyun travels his hand, traversing along Chanyeol’s stomach.

 

_Use me as you will_

_Pull my strings just for a thrill_

_And I know I'll be okay_

_Though my skies are turning gray_

 

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asks, his voice low and wretched. “Are we really running out of time?” He tightens his hold on the boy’s body as if to protect him from the things that will take him away. To protect him even from death. From time.

 

Chanyeol knows the answer but it feels even more real when Baekhyun replies with a tone of dread and inevitability and despair. “We are.”

***

 

Chanyeol feels a lot happier over the succeeding days. Baekhyun has been busy recovering – that’s what he told him but a tug in Chanyeol’s heart keeps telling him Baekhyun is preoccupied with other things. How we wished he knew! But today is not a good day to spoil his mood. Any moment, Baekhyun will be arriving.

 

He borrows the same place they rented when Chanyeol asks Baekhyun to be his. It is a perfect place to relax. It’s at the bay where they can watch sunset and away from the crowd so they can be at peace. While waiting, he captures the breath taking scene before him.

 

The sun is still up but is slowly descending and the water glitters gold and orange. The sky soothes Chanyeol’s eyes even though the colors pink, blue, violet, orange and yellow battle for supremacy. He posts his shots on his Instagram account with a caption: The sun does not set. It’s just shining in another world.

 

He smiles at himself for learning one of Baekhyun’s proverbs and motto in life. The issues of them being together has not died down but the fire is not as vicious before. Some of their fans accepted the truth of the matter while some other are still fuming over it. But both of them could care less. Jongdae is right, they also have lives to live.

 

“I apologize for the hurt I’ve caused our fans but I will never apologize for loving a person like Baekhyun.” This were the last words he told the media at a press conference when J-SKY released another song last month.

 

“You seemed lost in your thoughts again, Mr. Park.” Dr. Zhang greets him with warm smile. Baekhyun sits comfortably in his wheel chair, looking carefree. The doctor ushers them near him.

 

“Good afternoon, doctor! How’s my Baekhyun?” Chanyeol replaces the doctor’s spot and moves the wheel chair at the far end of the room to give him a better view.

 

“He’s pretty fine.” The doctor replies. “Recovering fast, as expected.”

 

“Yes. Pretty and fine.” Baekhyun elaborates and his laughs echo in the room. He moves his wheelchair on his own.

 

“Our Baekhyun is a real survivor, don’t you think doctor?”

 

“He is.” Dr. Zhang glances at his watch. “Alright, love birds. I need to leave. I’ll pick you up at ten. Baekhyun? Behave, okay?”

 

The door shuts and silence embraces them and it is too comfortable to break. They are just there, side by side. Chanyeol standing beside Baekhyun sitting in his wheelchair. Baekhyun leans his head, touching Chanyeol’s arms. Both their eyes are fixed on the burning ball descending from the sky.

 

For a moment, Chanyeol wonders what Baekhyun is thinking about. As much as he hates to break the silence, he voices them out, “What are you thinking?”

 

Baekhyun’s voice sounds dreamy, “Hmn?”

 

“I want to know what you’re thinking. I’m sure you’ve got metaphors running in your mind.” He teases, lightly poking Baekhyun’s cheeks with his elbow.

 

Baekhyun chuckles and pats his shoulder lightly. “Well, I’ve been thinking about you.”

 

“What?” Chanyeol is glad that they basks in the light of the sun. Baekhyun will not know how his blood rushes to his cheeks. “What about me?”

 

“I love you, Chanyeol.”

 

It’s the sweetest yet the most painful to hear. Chanyeol knows even without asking that Baekhyun feels anxious again. “I love you too Baekhyun. So much. But remember to breathe, okay? We have time. We still have time.”

 

Under normal circumstances, Baekhyun would have bickered and argued. This time is a little different. Baekhyun remains silent and just interlaces his fingers to the tall man beside him.

 

Chanyeol feels him, his thumb running at the back of Baekhyun’s palm. The boy’s fingers are still soft and smooth but they are a little bony. His hair has thinned, his lips are chapped and his breathing has changed. Chanyeol places his arms around his shoulders and they too have become skin then bones.

 

But his eyes… Baekhyun might be dying and the clock continues to tick but his eyes are more than alive. His eyes are bright amidst his paling face, amidst his dwindling frame.

 

They are rattled when Baekhyun’s phone rings but as soon as the boy grabs his phone, he rejects the call without even having a second glance at the name of the caller.

 

“You have been busy. I wonder what’s keeping you from me.” Chanyeol mutters under his breath, trying to look annoyed.

 

Baekhyun ignores his comment then asks, with a hopeful look. “Are you free this weekend, Yeol? There’s something I want to show you.” He smiles.

 

“This weekend? Why not now?”

 

“You’ll see.” Baekhyun brings Chanyeol’s hands to his lips and plants a soft kiss.

 

“Fine.” Chanyeol gives in. He grabs a chair and sits beside him. “But you have to tell me what’s been keeping you from me. What are you doing lately, Baekhyun? Tell me the truth.”

 

Baekhyun’s laugh echoes in the room, his eyes crinkling with delight. He grabs Chanyeol’s hands and plays with his fingers. “You know, the usual. I’m composing. How’s your nineteenth song going? I have some words here. If you have a melody, I think we can work on it.”

 

“Really?” Chanyeol takes his hand back, his eyebrows furrowing. “You’re composing yet so many people calling you? What’s with short text messages and a plain ‘K’? You’re making me worry, Baekhyun.” He pouts and anxiety is in his eyes.

 

“Look. You have to trust me, Yeol. I’m not doing anything fishy.” Baekhyun smiles impishly, snatching Chanyeol’s hand once again. His thumb and forefingers fingers fumble with Chanyeol’s middle and ring fingers.

 

“You are leaving me with no choice.” Chanyeol exhales and the boy tenses. “I guess I just have to trust you.” He kisses Baekhyun’s crown.

 

“Don’t say that! You’re giving me a mental break down.” Baekhyun clings to his arm like a child would, pouting as he heaves a deep breath.

 

“How many times do I have to tell you, I’m not leaving?”

 

Baekhyun glances at him, half of his face basking in the setting sun. “Just enough to make me feel okay everyday.” He snatches a kiss, melting Chanyeol once more.

 

“I won’t leave you. Death can’t scare me.” Chanyeol’s eyes wander at the bay, the ocean glittering gold.

 

Baekhyun faces the ocean before him, looking lost in his thoughts. “I’m not afraid of death, though. Time scares the hell out of me. You never know when it is up.”

 

Starting to feel queasy, Chanyeol redirects the conversation. “Don’t think so much.” He holds Baekhyun’s hands tighter. “I told you to just live for the day. There are no promises for tomorrow. Anyway, let’s play our usual thing. Game?” Chanyeol gives him a side look then smiles.

 

It takes Baekhyun a good three seconds to gather some words. “The sun is waving good bye.”

 

“Rattling the colors in the sky.” Chanyeol replies in the blink of the silence, looking triumphant.

 

“You’re improving.” Baekhyun chirps and taps Chanyeol’s shoulder, congratulating. “Uhm, to another world it shines,” Baekhyun’s tone is light but challenging. His face is lit up and a wide smile is breaking his lips.

 

Chanyeol is silent for a moment, containing his laughter as he tries to reply. “In another world, it shines.”

 

Baekhyun impishly rolls his eyes. “I appreciate your attempt in changing the preposition.”

 

“Does it matter? It sounds good and it adds meaning of course, we emphasize certain connotation.” Chanyeol explains between his laughter.

 

“So many excuses. Anyway, the clock continues to tick.”

 

“And my heart continues to seek.”

 

“The one that can see the same stars.” Baekhyun replies, all giddy and excited.

 

“The one that… who can see my scars.”

 

“I love that!” Baekhyun claps his hands, proud looming on his face at how easily they find the words. “It’s so beautiful.”

 

“I told you. No inhibitions and just let things flow. Now you are surprised at what it can do.” Chanyeol intertwines his hands with Baekhyun. “Continue, Baekhyun. We’re just starting.”

 

The sun continues to descend, its bottom touching the waters and blinding them. Both of them feel at ease. Maybe they are really made for sunsets and seas.

 

“Uhm, what does… Does it matter if the sky is blue?” Baekhyun stutters a little.

 

Chanyeol thinks hard, recalling all the words there is to rhyme with the last word. “Does it even matter whatever hue?”

 

“Does it matter if it’s raining?”

 

“Wait, commercial. How do you do that? I mean, how do you get all those words so fast?” Chanyeol exhales, trying to sound exasperated but his tone does not hide the pride.

 

“The challenge is on you. I’m the line starter so technically, I can start with whatever words. You’re the one who have to rhyme with them. Follow my last line then you start with a new one.” Baekhyun explains. “Does it matter if it’s raining?”

 

“Or if the sun is shining?”

 

“Nice line!” Baekhyun consoles Chanyeol. “Go create a new one.”

 

“My melodies found you.” Chanyeol wriggles his eyebrow as if to challenge.

 

Baekhyun wriggles his brows too, looking victorious as he replies quickly. “The winds brought me to you.”

 

“Don’t care about the dye.”

 

Baekhyun laughs, lightly hitting Chanyeol. “Who uses the word dye?”

 

“Creativity permits certain kind of unconventional things.” Chanyeol bickers. “Now, what’s the next line?”

 

“As long as we are under the same sky.”

 

“Dang it!” Chanyeol smiles gloriously as pushes Baekhyun’s head closer so he can kiss his temple. “How can you be so witty and talented and creative and sweet at the same time?”

 

“Let’s talk about sweetness later, Yeol.” Baekhyun kisses the corner of his mouth. “Give me the next line.”

 

Chanyeol allows their laughter to echo before he answers, “The time ticks as my heart beats.”

 

This time, Baekhyun is silent, thinking hard. Chanyeol raises his fingers to count and it was on the seventh raise when the boy replies, “Days are on our fingers and the time fleets.”

 

Sadness threatens to distract Chanyeol but he immediately waves it off. He counters, “But even the time does not matter.”

 

“Classic.” Baekhyun winks at him then gazes back to the sun whose dying glows do not reach the heavens anymore. “Because we are together.”

 

“I don’t care if the sky is grey.” Chanyeol continues.

 

“I only think of you as I pray.”

 

Chanyeol takes a good look at him. Baekhyun looks lost once more but the smile in his face never goes away. “For more days, my heart says.”

 

This time, Baekhyun turns to look at him and their eyes behold a meaning no words can ever describe. “I beg for more days.”

 

Chanyeol seals their lines with a soft kiss but Baekhyun deepens the clash as he snakes his arms around Chanyeol’s neck and explore more on his mouth. Their kiss is full of promises and assurance that they will be strong even if the sun leaves and they will be just as strong until it shines again.

 

They break apart when Baekhyun’s phone rings. The boy fishes it out.

 

Chanyeol itches to know who texted him. He clears his throat with the hope that Baekhyun will explain. But the boy only looks at him with a bright smile.

 

“Chanyeol? Can you stand up?”

 

“Yeah, sure. Why?” Chanyeol stands up on his seat with a bewildering look.

 

“Here in front. Yes, there. Alright, step backward. Okay, that’s it.”

 

Chanyeol does as he is told, still looking baffled. “What are you… Hey Baekhyun!” Chanyeol shouts, his heart almost drops.

 

Baekhyun slowly gets out of his wheelchair. He winces with every move as his joints and muscles are continuously being attacked by complications. Without any foreword, because he does not want to ask help from Chanyeol, he drops to his knees, kneeling. The fall is a little hard for his body but he continues nonetheless.

 

Chanyeol crouches down but Baekhyun orders him to stand up and remain where he is. “Baekhyun, what are you doing?” Chanyeol freezes in his spot, his mind running wildly.

 

He freezes even more and his heart almost literally stops when Baekhyun asks, “I love you, Park Chanyeol. Will you marry me? Even in my numbered days, will you still take the risk?”

 

The sun has left but the stars are there. The moon smiles as it watches them from above. The winds hum as if to embrace both of them, urging them, protecting them.

 

Chanyeol drops to his knees too, cupping Baekhyun in the face. His thumbs run through to wipe the boy’s tears away. He kisses Baekhyun deeply and passionately before he utters his response.

 

“I love you, Baekhyun. Yes.”

***

 

It's a masterful melody when he calls out my name to me

As the world spins around him, he laughs, rolls his eyes

And I feel like I'm falling but it's no surprise

‘Cause I love him with all that I am

 

Chanyeol watches Baekhyun sing and play the piano. Although three hours have passed since Baekhyun asked the greatest question of all time in their relationship, his heart is still in his throat and everything feels so surreal. Even with constant pats and smacks from his friends who seem to enjoy drinking, everything feels like a dream.

 

A good dream in which he doesn’t want to wake up to.

 

And my voice shakes along with my hands

‘Cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea

But I'd rather be here than on land

Yes he's all that I see and he's all that I need and I'm out of my league once again

 

After a melodic vibrato at the end, Baekhyun calls him. “To my love, Park Chanyeol. Please come here to my side.”

 

The crowd, who are just their friends, chirps once more, clearly enjoying their food and the couple before them. Minseok and Dr. Zhang also come to his side, a small pillow on the doctor’s hands.

 

“Wooo!” Jongin exclaims, sounding more excited than Chanyeol who looks like he is going to pass out any minute. “I never thought there would be an exchange of engagement rings.” He whispers to Sehun.

 

“Baekhyun planned all this. I am starting to feel guilty hiding things from my best friend.” Jongdae whines.

 

“It’s for his good, Dae. It’s all worth it.” Kyungsoo comments without leaving his eyes on the couple in front. “I can’t believe we’re now on this. I’m so proud of our Channie!” His smile is never leaving his face, his eyes get all watery.

 

“Witness dear friends,” Dr. Zhang greets, “These two people, both on the opposite ends of the spectrum: a lover of sunset and a lover of sunrise.” He raises the pillow where two gold rings rest. The one is significantly bigger than the other and each has a name carved on it, ChanBaek. “Find themselves under one same sky, linked by words and firmed by music and whose hearts beat with the same rhythm, same melody. I present to you our newly engaged couple, Park Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun.”

 

Even though there are just seven people in the audience, the claps and the cheers are deafening enough.

 

Baekhyun, in his wheelchair, takes the first ring and inserted them in Chanyeol’s middle finger. “You’re mine.”

 

“So,” Chanyeol says as he picks the second ring. “This is what have been keeping you from me.” Likewise, he delicately caresses Baekhyun’s hand and inserted the ring on his middle finger. He brings the boy’s hands to his lips. “I am yours and you are mine. I promise.”

 

“This… that has kept me from you these past few days will only bring us closer together. I love you, Yeol.” Baekhyun stands up, his hands seeking support from Chanyeol’s firm arms. Minseok and Dr. Zhang ready their hands just in case Baekhyun needs more to hold onto. Baekhyun slowly inches closer to Chanyeol then he stands on his tiptoes to kiss him.

 

As usual, the crowd goes wild with all the banging of their fists on the table and their yells as they struggle to contain their emotions.

 

“Get a room you two!”

 

“Can’t you not wait until we’re all gone?”

 

“I think this is their way of saying we have to leave. Now.”

 

The midnight dinner continues and the friends of both parties are nothing but banters and teases.

 

“I still can’t believe you ask Chanyeol hyung to marry you. Like, are you seriously so out of your mind Mr. Byun?” Jongin utters as he forks his pork belly.

 

“I must be so out of my mind if I paste your face in your plate. Don’t try me, Jongin.” Chanyeol threatens impishly.

 

“No worries my love.” Baekhyun beams. He wipes Chanyeol’s lips with a napkin to remove the sauce.” People in love do crazy things. Anyway, Mr. Kim, just a piece of advice, people are out of their minds because they follow their hearts. I wish you’ll follow the same when you meet the one. Sometimes, being rational will not save your relationship.”

 

Jongdae takes a swig of his champagne. “You know I love you Baekhyun but I’m cringing right now. Can you please… can you please stop? Please?”

 

Kyungsoo nudges his best friend a little too hard. “Let the love birds be. We ought to be that good friends, remember?”

 

“Sorry, but yeah. Hard to be a good friend.” Jongdae rolls his eyes playfully and they all crack in laughter.

 

The night continues to grow old but they never tire hearing each other stories. It’s as if they are good, old friends meeting each other after so many years. Baekhyun’s weak voice never wavers when he laughs. Chanyeol’s blood never tires to stay in his cheeks. Jongdae never stops cringing and Kyungsoo has the consistency in reminding the others to be a good friend.

 

The clock strikes 1 AM when they finally say their good byes. Chanyeol’s band of friends go home together with Kyungsoo being the driver as he is only sober enough to do so. Chanyeol, together with Baekhyun and Minseok, hops to Dr. Zhang’s car to go back to the hospital.

 

It is almost 2 AM when they reach Baekhyun’s door.

 

“Chanyeol, for a moment please.” The doctor asks and ushers Baekhyun to go inside first. “Before this night ends, I just want you to know how grateful I am that you didn’t lose hope in my best friend.”

 

Chanyeol warms at his words and produces his best and most genuine smile. “I can never thank you enough for allowing me to be with him, doctor.”

 

“Please, call me Yixing. And I am speaking to you not as his doctor but as his best friend. Chanyeol, I… I just can’t find words to say. Baekhyun… alive and happy as he may look, he’s dying inside. You know that. I might be the one to attend to his illness but you’re the one who healed his heart. I am forever grateful and indebted to you.”

 

“Thank you, Mr… I mean, Yixing. I want to give Baekhyun the world but I know he doesn’t need it. I love him, Yixing. So much.”

 

“Take care of our Baekhyun. I trust you.” The doctor pats his shoulder, a proud and warm smile on his lips as he retreats back to his office.

 

When Chanyeol enters, Baekhyun is lying on his bed, looking radiant. He taps the space beside him, urging Chanyeol to lay down.

 

“How’s my Baekhyun? Are you okay? How are you feeling?” Chanyeol slithers his arm under Baekhyun’s head. He inches the boy near his body, shifting them comfortably.

 

Baekhyun does the same, his arms around Chanyeol’s torso. “I’m happy. Do you remember the mirror of Erised that I told you about?” He looks up to meet Chanyeol’s eyes.

 

“Yes. What about it?”

 

“I told you, when I look in the mirror, I would see nothing but myself. You see, I don’t want anything. I want to die wanting nothing. I feel like it’s vanity to even want when you know you’re dying. I fooled myself into believing that I will be happy being that. But you came and you shatter that mirror.”

 

Chanyeol remains silent and caresses Baekhyun’s hair the massages his temples. He never dares speak so Baekhyun continues leaking his thoughts and emotions.

 

“Chanyeol?”

 

“Hmn?”

 

“I forgot one thing.” His eyes wander on his room but his fingers explore Chanyeol’s chest.

 

“What is it?” Chanyeol’s voice is solemn and tranquil.

 

“I forgot to tell you one thing. I have told you so many things already. Like, I love you. I’m sorry. I am here. I will take the risks with you. Please stay and all that.”

 

“I can’t imagine you forgot something.”

 

Baekhyun fidgets for a moment. A long silence passes before Baekhyun heaves a deep breath, “I love you. I’m sorry. Good bye.”

 

If things are normal, it would seem weird that right after the engagement party, Baekhyun would utter his farewell. But Chanyeol knows enough that Baekhyun is talking about a different kind of leaving. Chanyeol does not say a word and it is too late to stop his tears from streaming. He just secures his hold on Baekhyun’s body as he tighten his hug. Baekhyun begins to sobs.

 

“I’m sorry it was never easy for us.” Baekhyun whispers.

 

“I’m sorry I cannot stop the time.”

 

“I’m sorry if it always feels like rain.”

 

“I’m sorry I cannot end the pain.” Chanyeol replies and they realize they are creating another poem.

 

 “If I could talk to time, I would say,” Baekhyun wipes the tears off his face and sniffs.

 

Chanyeol steals the next words, “I’ll be needing one more day.”

 

“But time is never our friend.”

 

“But remember, it brought me to you in the end. For that, Baekhyun, I am grateful.”

 

Baekhyun does not reply. He buries his face on Chanyeol’s shoulder and wails. Spilling all the tears left, emptying all the pain in his heart. Chanyeol cries with him but he remains silent. He just kisses Baekhyun’s hair, then back to caressing his back then tightening his hold.

 

Chanyeol lost track of the time but he could care less. How he wishes the time would empathize and grant them more years but even he, himself, knows it’s too much to ask. He recalls all the memories he had and those they have shared. His thoughts brought him far away that he does not notice himself shifting to the world of dreams.

 

He is not sure where he is at the moment as he plays in between the lines of conscious and subconscious but Baekhyun’s voice sounds near and his words are clear. He is singing again, as if to lull him deeper in his dreams.

 

If I’m not back again

This time, tomorrow

Carry on, carry on

As if nothing really matters.

 

The last thing he feels is a thumb running through his cheeks then a soft lips on his. “We may be in different skies for a time being but soon, your sunrise will be my sunrise. My sunset will be your sunset. I love you, Park Chanyeol.”

*****

 

**EPILOGUE**

“Can you tell us something more about your upcoming album?”

 

Chanyeol arranges the mic in front of him. Clearing his throat, he says, “So our new album is called Same Sky. It has seven songs, four of which are composed by the members. The other three were beautifully written by Mr. Byun Baekhyun. I told you once before, Mr. Byun was our secret member.”

 

The DJ, seemingly lost for words, laughs awkwardly. “I’m sure your fans would love it. It has been a trade mark of your group to have five songs. Is there a special reason behind these seven songs?”

 

“Seven songs because it took someone seven days to fall in love.” Chanyeol proudly answers, a sweet smile on his face.

 

“If this is not romantic, I don’t know what is?” The DJ chuckles. “I’m sure your fans are frantic about the release. When will it be?”

 

“The album will be released this Saturday in all music stores nationwide.”

 

“You heard it everyone, please continue support J-SKY by grabbing an album.” The DJ cheers the listeners as he claps his hands near the mic. “Thank you so much for accepting our invitation. I know you have a lot to say to your fans, please do so.”

 

Chanyeol straightens up, taking off his cap to run his fingers through his hair. “Thank you for all the love and the support you are giving. To those who faithfully stayed with us, with _me_ , all throughout the tough times, I am sincerely grateful. We will continue to give you the good music you deserve. Thank you so much!” Chanyeol smiles with the hope that the listeners can feel the genuineness of his heart.

 

“Alright! You’ve heard it! Please continue supporting our one and only J-SKY!” He cheers, his voice alive and bright. “This is Dong Hyuk, for Thirty Minutes with a CelebriThrill, signing off.”

 

“Yehey! We’ll see everybody soon.” Chanyeol adds before taking off his headset and stands up to shake the hands of the DJ. “Thank you so much Dong Hyuk hyung for having me here. It’s a pleasure.”

 

“Likewise, Chanyeol. Will you stay for a snack?” Dong Hyuk stretches and yawns. He walks to Chanyeol’s side to assist him outside of the studio.

 

“Oh, no.” Chanyeol says, looking abashed. “As much as I want to stay, I need to go to Baekhyun.” He brushes his nape inelegantly.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah. I think we can have lunch together some other time. I’ll see you around, hyung! Call me.” Chanyeol gestures a phone call before he turns to exit but Dong Hyun grabs his wrist.

 

“Tell me, Chanyeol. How are you? Really?”

 

A moment of silence billows over before Chanyeol heaves a deep sigh. He looks down as he utters the words, “I’m not okay. But I have to, for Baekhyun. But no worries, I will be when the time comes.”

 

“Go out, have fun, party with your friends. You need those, I tell you. Okay? You should be the one to call me.” Dong Hyuk pats his shoulder, his eyes is painted with worry and relief and hope.

 

“I will. But I’ll be going, for now. Thank you so much, hyung!” Chanyeol plasters his bright smile once more.

 

Chanyeol walks out with a small smile on his face. As soon as he is in his car, he starts the engine and pulls away, feeling much lighter compared to the previous months. The sun is up, warming him. The weather is so good. Puffy and pearly white clouds hover above and the sky is nothing but a perfect blue.

 

He turns on his radio and settles on the first station he tuned in. The music plays and Chanyeol drowns himself with thoughts again.

 

_Let me photograph you in this light_

_In case it is the last time that we might_

_Be exactly like we were before we realised_

We were sad of getting old, it made us restless

 

“We made it, Baekhyun! I hope you are happy.” Chanyeol says out loud, confident that his words will be heard.

 

_It was just like a movie_

It was just like a song

 

The digital clock in his car flashes 1:57 when he arrives. The park is deserted except for an old man clearing up the fallen leaves. Chanyeol has made friends with him already because how frequent he visits the place.

 

“Good afternoon, Ajhussi!” Chanyeol greets when their eyes meet.

 

The old man waves at him, rake on his other hand. “Hello there, young man! Visiting him again, aren’t you?”

 

“Yes. The usual thing.” Chanyeol laughs lightly. “I’ll be going. I’ll see you around.”

 

It is a wonderful Friday afternoon and the church is open. Chanyeol takes his time to sit on one of the chairs and breathes. He closes his eyes for a good few minutes, hands clasped and resting on his lap. He gathers his strength to resurface the pang in his heart but his face breaks into a smile when the throb is much less painful compared before.

 

“Thank you, Lord. My heart is happy.” After bringing his hands to his lips to seal his prayers, he walks outside.

 

The clouds shield him from the blinding rays of the sun as the winds accompany him to the place where he will meet him. For the first time, his steps are not as heavy and aching like before. The storm is about to leave.

 

“Hey wait, young man!” Chanyeol turns to see Ajhussi running towards him with a freshly picked flowers in his hand. “He’s waiting for you, give this to him.”

 

“Oh! Thank you very much!” Chanyeol takes the flowers bursting with different colors. He smiles once more before heading to Baekhyun again.

 

Chanyeol finds him and his smile widens. He nearly hops towards him with his a throbbing heart and reddening cheeks. “Hey Baekhyun!” He greets.

 

Chanyeol sits cross legged on the grass as he places the flowers on Baekhyun’s tombstone, replacing the dried ones. “How’s my melody doing? One more week and your songs will be heard. Anyway, there is something I need to tell you.”

 

He fishes out two black notebooks from his backpack. “Why didn’t you tell me about this before? We could’ve read this together, you know? And I could have contributed to _our_ story.”

 

Chanyeol remembers the doctor giving these notebooks to him.

 

“ _Baekhyun wants you to have it. I know he does. That first book is just about him and Lu Han, well, you might want to guess who is in his second notebook.”_

 

“I just can’t believe you wrote things about that Chinese guy! I’m so jealous.” Chanyeol pouts, brushing off the fallen leaves above his tombstone. “Anyway, I have thoughts of publishing _our_ story but I guess you wouldn’t want something as precious as that to be under the limelight.”

 

He is about to continue talking to him when his phone rings. A little annoyed, he fishes it out of his pockets and rolls his eyes when he reads the caller.

 

“What’s the matter, Dae?”

 

“Where are you?”

 

“Usual. Why?” Chanyeol answers shortly, giving hints of _don’t disturb me, please_.

 

“Call me when you’re home. Soo and I will be picking you up. Let’s celebrate tonight, okay?”

 

“Alright. Call you later, bye!” He drops the call.

 

“Things are going well with us, Baekhyun. I hope you are also happy wherever you are. I am proud to say that the storm is almost over.” Chanyeol runs his hand on the stones, his fingers tracing the carved of name of Baekhyun.

 

“I hope Hyumi is also happy wherever she is. She told me that I should pray for you to find her there. Have you seen her? Not to be self-absorbed but I’m betting you are talking about me wherever you guys are.” Chanyeol grins, a light chuckle escaping his lips.

 

He lies flatly on the ground, eyeing the sky above him. “The storm is over, Baekhyun. Although I admit that the pain is still here. It will always be. The things it wrecked will stay here with me until I meet you again.

 

I can’t wait to see you but no worries, like what you said, I am taking my _time_. I wonder how the sky is in your place. Is it as blue as this one? Do you also have sunsets there in paradise?”

 

Chanyeol continues asking questions, feeling peaceful for the first time in so many months. He inhales the fresh air then exhales with a smile.

 

Unlike before, he wilfully surrender to the thoughts of him letting Baekhyun go with a happy heart even though the wound is just as fresh.

 

_“Thank you for giving me your numbered days. I hope we could still have time but I can’t bear anymore the pain you are feeling right now.”_ _Chanyeol held Baekhyun’s hand tightly, tears streaming down his face._

 

_“I still don’t want to cross the line but I’m seeing it. I’m seeing it now.” Baekhyun’s voice is a hoarse whisper, his eyes almost closed. He struggles to breathe, let alone speak a word. Cords are all over his body. A nose cannula connected to an oxygen tank is the only thing holding him back._

_“Go, Baekhyun. You’ve endured enough.” Chanyeol buried his face in Baekhyun’s hand, caring less of how much he wailed that night. “But before you go, please remember how much I love you.”_

_“I’m sorry Chanyeol. But thank you, for choosing me over anyone else in this world.”_

_“Go, Baekhyun. Go now.”_

_“Find me in the other world but take your time.”_

_“I will.” Chanyeol looked at him. He witnessed Baekhyun slowly crossing the line. His fingers became stiff, his hand dropped temperature, and his chest steadied._

_Chanyeol looked at him because he knows deep down, Baekhyun closing his eyes for good is worth remembering regardless of the immense pain he will be feeling whenever he will close his._

_He lets Baekhyun go, but not his hands. He lets Baekhyun cross the other line but his eyes held him much longer._

_Long enough until the Dr. Zhang came to the room, crying despite containing himself. Long enough before the nurses pulled his hand away from Baekhyun’s cold touch and ushered him to the side. Long enough until Chanyeol himself heard the apparatus bleeping a long monotonous sound._

“I forgot to tell you one thing, though. I think I know now what I will see in the Mirror of Erised. But I will reserve my stories until we meet again.”

 

_Long enough for Chanyeol to tell himself, it’s over. Baekhyun is gone._

 “Until my sunrise is your sunrise, until your sunset is my sunset. Until we are under the same sky _again._ I love you, Baekhyun. From this world to yours.”

*****

 

**Author's Note:**

> Any thoughts? Reach me through:
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/niruesieee) | [Tumblr](https://miyenpoetry.tumblr.com/) | [Asian fanfics](http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/1006414) |  [Ask.fm](https://ask.fm/Jaellyais) | [Curiouscat.me](https://curiouscat.me/niruesieee)
> 
>  
> 
> *You can visit my tumblr for more poems. Baekhyun's poems are also there.
> 
> Thank you soo much for spending some time!


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